I posted a brief survey about possible new Mighty sites a while ago, and lots of you didn’t get a chance to see it. I’m sorry about that. I was kind of shocked by your eagerness to help, and the way you bowled over the little survey tool I hooked up.
Anyway, here’s the more detailed survey I promised, and you’re welcome to take it whether you took the last one or not. It has lots of questions about who you are (because we have a new advertising partner who needs to know), and the question about new sites is at the end. This questionnaire only lets you choose your top three ideas, because last time everyone wanted everything. You greedy little monkeys.
Thank you in advance if you take a minute to answer. I promise to stop underestimating your helpfulness in the future. Also to floss more and be a better citizen.
So. Remember sixteen months ago when I was super, duper pregnant? Barely, right? It seems like a looong time ago. Especially when Hank strolls into the room and says something like, “Mummy, I have a few questions about the mortgage crisis.”
Well ladies, this is how long it took me to take off all the baby weight. Sixteen months. I did not wear my jeans out of the hospital, I did not lose the “fat face” the minute I gave birth, I was not able to eat whatever I wanted just because I was breast feeding, and I could not climb back on a tread mill right after Hank was born. I needed quite a while to heal.
Are you listening? Sixteen months. For me, that’s how long it took. Sixteen months and quite a bit of help from Weight Watchers online. It’s not true for everybody, but it is true for lots of folks. So put down the issue of People magazine, and turn away from all the moms on E! who got their bodies back a month later. If you’re feeling bummed about your gut, get yourself some flattering dresses, and give yourself a little time.
Good job making that baby, girl.
A bunch of new stuff is up at Mighty Goods and Mighty Junior:
Also Father’s Day is coming up, so at Mighty Junior you’ll find 14 Perfect Father’s Day Gifts. Also, if your dad enjoys a good cocktail, Mighty Goods will help you stock his bar with our Top Shelf Father’s Day Guide.
Enjoy, and let us know what you think!
I think I said blowjob 453 times in the space of an hour. Then Heather made several references to goat testicles. She also had a rare timid moment when she stopped, squinted up into the stage lights and said, “Am I allowed to cuss?” Like God was going to answer.
Obscenities and phallic references aside, the session went well. That is, once I was able to tune out the live blogger. It’s unsettling enough to be on stage, but try it to a soundtrack of frantic typing that stops whenever you pause for breath. Fortunately, the audience wasn’t full of people I knew in seventh grade, and I wasn’t naked behind a podium, so actually the presentation was better than I could have dreamed.
Afterward, we headed to my very first meet-up, and I had a great time. I’ve never done a meet up before, and (as I mentioned during our presentation) part of me always pictures myself alone in a large warehouse whistling and waiting for someone to show up.
That’s Aimee and Kathryn who, along with Kirsten, chatted with me for most of the meet-up. I’d love to see them all again, plus lots of the others we met. At one point, I was talking to a neuroscience major, and all of the women around the table were like, “You study neuroscience? I’m totally into neuroscience too!” Thereby verifying my suspicion that all of you are total geniuses. If you came out, thank you so much for finding sitters, driving from the far reaches, or overcoming your shyness. It was good to see you.
We fly home today, but there will be lots of photos and a few good stories to come. Canadians are lovely, and Canada is officially checked off my Mighty Life List! Next? The pyramids at sunset! Or possibly making butterscotch pudding from scratch. I’ll keep you posted.
During the two hours we meeted and greeted, Heather stood in these shoes:
In fact, she’d been wearing them since noon, when we left the hotel to present. She did not whine a single time, and only whimpered once.
So the next time you find yourself wondering why you can’t pay your mortgage with your Internet Website, don’t ask yourself where you’d find ten hours a day to take photos of suburban life, balance batteries on your dog’s head, and write detailed essays about Al Roker’s nipples. Ask yourself whether you’d be willing to stand in 5 inch heels for seven hours while greeting 200 people you don’t know.
Next time I present somewhere, I’m wearing 15″ lucite stilettos. I apologize in advance if my feet bleed on you.
Are you in Canada right now? OK, stay there for a minute. I’ll be right up.
It’s taken me thirty-two years to get up to Canada, and I cannot wait. Everyone tells me how gorgeous Vancouver is, and how no one locks their doors. As you might imagine, I’m excited to walk around trying all the doors and photographing what’s inside.
While we’re there, my very helpful husband Bryan, arranged a meet-and-greet for me and Heather, and you should come because I want to meet you. Also, if you have one of my books, I will write something nice inside.
Friday night, May 23rd
Dockside Brewing Company
behind the Granville Island Hotel
1253 Johnston Street
Granville Island, Vancouver B.C.V6h 3R9
Please join us.
In other news, regular readers may remember that “Cross the Canadian border” is one of the items on my Mighty Life list (lower left sidebar if you haven’t seen it). The offer to speak at Vidfest was one of the slightly uncanny things that happened right after I posted the list. I’ll tell you about the rest of it later. In the meantime, if anyone has a boat that needs christening, you know who to call.
Recent titles for the finished section of my to-do list:
TASKS I SLAYED TODAY, BOO-YAH.
How DO I kick so much the ass?
BAM! I continue to dazzle.