Coming to Canada

Are you in Canada right now? OK, stay there for a minute. I’ll be right up.

I’m speaking at Vidfest with Heather Armstrong. (Whose name, incidentally, I can never type without thinking, “Arm strong, feel arm! Heather strong, like ox!” But I digress.)

It’s taken me thirty-two years to get up to Canada, and I cannot wait. Everyone tells me how gorgeous Vancouver is, and how no one locks their doors. As you might imagine, I’m excited to walk around trying all the doors and photographing what’s inside.

While we’re there, my very helpful husband Bryan, arranged a meet-and-greet for me and Heather, and you should come because I want to meet you. Also, if you have one of my books, I will write something nice inside.

When:
Friday night, May 23rd
5-7 p.m.

Where:
Dockside Brewing Company
behind the Granville Island Hotel
1253 Johnston Street
Granville Island, Vancouver B.C.V6h 3R9

(Google Map)

Please join us.

In other news, regular readers may remember that “Cross the Canadian border” is one of the items on my Mighty Life list (lower left sidebar if you haven’t seen it). The offer to speak at Vidfest was one of the slightly uncanny things that happened right after I posted the list. I’ll tell you about the rest of it later. In the meantime, if anyone has a boat that needs christening, you know who to call.

Channel Surfing

Me: No. No. … No.
Bryan: But this is Batman vs. Dracula.
Me: No.
Bryan: Csssh! I can’t wait until Hank is old enough to get a vote.
Me: Hank only counts for a quarter vote.
Bryan: And so, it will always be 1.25 to 1.
Me: Shit, I suck at math.

Then I Did a Brief Pole Dance

Me: I took my shirt off in front of the neighbor.
Bryan: Explain that.
Me: I took my shirt off without realizing the shade was up, and there he was. I actually made eye contact with him. He got all flustered and looked away.
Bryan: Hot.
Me: No, I was wearing my indestructible white bra. I just dropped to my knees and crawled out of the room.
Bryan: Lame.
Me: I know.

Living For The Now

Rae: Have you seen that photo of the guy with the tattoo of the cat’s butt hole where his belly button is?
Me: What? No! is that a real thing?
Rae: Oh yes. Yes it is.
Me: He didn’t give a fuck about tomorrow, man.
Rae: Yeah. He wasn’t really thinking about later that afternoon.

Help?

Hello! I have three quick questions for you regarding which sites you’d most enjoy reading if I were to launch more sites. Would you like to help me decide? If so, thank you. That’s very nice of you, don’t you think?

Update: Whoa! That was fast. Thanks so much for your help, you helpful crew, I got all the responses the survey thing allows, re-upped for more, and then you filled the new quota too. For those of you feeling stifled, I’ll ask some more detailed questions in the coming weeks. What I found out, if you’re curious, is that you guys want it all, baby. Except men’s fashion. Seriously, fuck men’s fashion.