Please Save Me from Kitty Videos and Flower Photos


This is all I’ve eaten for six days.

I’m finally back from SxSW, and I’ve had enough rest to responsibly approach the Internet again. Hello, Internet, I have a lot to tell you. My laptop is so jammed with photos it’s wheezing.

We threw a couple of parties that I’ll tell you about Monday, one was with Intel who I’ve been working with a lot lately. Speaking of which, I’m one of the judges for Intel’s Visual Life Contest, which is about the ways people express their lives through photos and film. (This is part of the campaign with that gorgeous Sartorialist video that was making the rounds recently.)

I mention this because the contest is merit based, and lots of you have photo and video stuff on your Life Lists. Having judged these contests before, I know most people don’t bother to enter when they have to actually do something. That means I spend a lot of hours looking at sunset photos, and then decide which one scores the photographer a $1,500 laptop with an external hard drive. This makes my soul whimper.

So please, please enter if you’re a person who makes video or takes photos, especially good ones. We’re judging based on presentation, originality, overall impact, and whether it fits one of the category themes — people, places, things, moments. You have until March 23. My limited attention span thanks you.

Let’s meet back here Monday to discuss 4 a.m. fire drills, smart women and the women who love them, and tequila. Break.

Soundtrack, Part 1

I’m headed to SxSW, and though I’m still sick, I’ve been spending a lot of time with the music you guys suggested. Speaking of which, wow. Thank you for all the suggestions. I’ve gotten through the first set of recommendations and I’ve also spent a little time with Pandora. For the record, apparently Nick Drake, Mumford and Sons, and Ryan Adams make people weep. Here’s what else has stood out so far.

Wishing Life Had a Fast Forward Button

Delicate from Damien Rice

Don’t You Remember from Adele

I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you from Colin Hay

Why from Annie Lennox

Good Woman from Cat Power

Casimar Pulanski Day from Sufjan Stevens

Shaking Your Fist at the Sky

Little Lion Man from Mumford and Sons

Call it Off from Tegan and Sara

The Cave from Mumford and Sons

Intuition from Feist

I Bombed Korea from Cake

Shine Like a New Pin from Camera Obscura

Dancing Around in Your Underwear

Raise Your Glass from Pink

Better Life from Keith Urban

Doctor Worm from They Might Be Giants

I Live In New York City from Sxip Shirey

All Day from Girl Talk
(Cover the kid’s ears if you’re clicking this without headphones.)

You’re so Damn Hot from OK Go

The Fratellis by Flathead

When I get through the next batch, I’ll post another roundup. Thanks, you guys.

Mighty Closet: Courtney Skott, Round Two

This is Courtney, my genius furniture designer friend. You’ve met her before on Mighty Girl, I photographed her for her first Mighty Closet in 2009. We took these shots at the same time, but I promptly had a hard-drive crash, and recently realized I’d never posted these. Hooray!

The playsuit is vintage Cole of California, which means it probably doubled as swimsuit originally.

The first time I saw Courtney wearing it, we were in Vegas for a bachelorette party, which is what this outfit was made for. She just threw on some sunglasses and a pair of sandals headed out to brunch. This was about four years ago, before Urban Outfitters started its Romper for Every Hipster campaign, and before Lady Gaga made it slightly tedious to walk around with no pants, so I was impressed with her fortitude.

The earrings are also vintage, from her mom’s jewelry box.

Shoes by Corso Como, body by marathons.

This is the kind of thing Courtney would wear out to meet friends for drinks. She designed and built that chair she’s sitting on, by the way. If I could do that, I’d accessorize by carrying power tools around with me.

This delicate piping detail on the shirt is like a built in necklace. It’s a thrifted piece by Geren Ford.

The earrings were made by friend Rena Tom, who’s a jewelry designer and founder of Rare Device, and who will be appearing her own Mighty Closet one day soon. Right, Rena?

Jeans by Joe’s (cut is The Honey), shoes are vintage Charles Jourdan.

Here’s a vintage Geoffrey Beene dress and jacket, Courtney is an avid thrift store shopper. The yellow velvet clutch is Banana Republic, Courtney says the clothes there are a little too preppy for her tastes, but she loves their accessories.

When she removes the jacket, the deep neckline scoop takes it from the library to cocktails, which pretty much describes my ideal life. Shoes are Calvin Klein.

The necklace is by Jalea Jalea, Mexico.

The dress has a little surprise sexy in the back, which is kind of Courtney’s thing. So lovely.

This leather jacket is sans label. Courtney says borrowed it from an L.A. friend for “her summer/San Francisco’s winter.” Truth. Her purse is a Josh Jakus felt zipper bag.

Courtney bought this dress on 5th St. in Brooklyn so many years ago that the label just has a bird on it. Clearly the designer did not see Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein coming.

Shoes are Calvin Klein.

Again with the surprise sexy. Yes, Courtney. This is working for us.

If you’d like to see more of Courtney’s closet, you’ll find her here:

Mighty Closet: Courtney Skott, Outfit 1
Mighty Closet: Courtney Skott, Outfit 2
Mighty Closet: Courtney Skott, Outfit 3
Mighty Closet: Courtney Skott, Outfit 4
Mighty Closet: Courtney Skott, Outfit 5

Wallow, the Soundtrack

So sick. I woke up with a fever and chills and the smell of death on the air. I wish this bed would stop touching me so I could sleep.

Anyway, when I was young and feeling heartbroken, I used to make breakup tapes with one side for feeling sorry for myself and one with happy music. Did you ever do this? While I’m incapacitated, please add links to songs to weep by and songs that make you dance around in your underwear.

When my skin isn’t peeling up at the edges, I shall make a mixtape.

Ready, Set, Panic

Alice and Eden make me laugh.

Exhibit A: Text message transcript from a conversation with Alice.

Me: I still can’t feel my toes.
Alice: I am sort of wondering if I’m still a little drunk.
Me: Yes. I woke up not hungover and thought, Uh-oh.
Alice: My head does hurt, so that’s promising.
Me: I think I spontaneously generated an organ that only processes bourbon last night. If you submerged me in a giant bottle of Makers, my intuition tells me I could breathe.
Alice: You evolved! You’re a higher life form now!
Me: I can actually hear what all the drunk people in the world are thinking right now.
Alice: Next time you come out we’ll have to test it out. Your bourbon gills.
Me: We’ll get a Deeta VonTease style champagne saucer, and I shall wear a bathing cap. And pasties.
Alice: Add that shit to your life list.
Me: It’s right next to asking Marilyn Manson to cover my body in Lunchables.
Alice: I can’t formulate a clever response because I’m laughing too hard. Which is hurting my head parts.
Me: Why are you laughing?
Alice: I’m laughing in triumph. My life list involves seeing you covered in meats.
Me: Full circle.
Alice: I’m impressed that you got to the airport. And that I somehow managed to call you a car. And that we’re still alive.
Me: I’m not surprised we’re still alive, just surprised we aren’t naked and chained to something in someone’s basement.
Alice: Oh, I am. Didn’t I mention?
Me: I know. I can hear your thoughts.
Alice: Why won’t you free me?
Me: You tend to thrive in an environment that provides creative constraints.
Alice: You’re like a semi-aquatic telepathic life coach.

Exhibit B: When I told her about my separation, Eden sent me this.

It’s an arrangement of mums with pipe cleaners to form the mouth and eyes.

My point here is that Alice and Eden have a book coming out today, and I’m excited for them. It’s called Let’s Panic About Babies!

If you’re feeling alarmed yourself, you can buy it here. Here’s hoping Alice and Eden make you laugh too.

Flashback Monday: Give Me a Sign

In an effort to gather all my writing in one place, I’ve been posting articles that originally appeared elsewhere. This piece was published by the The Morning News in 2004, when I worked at the Democratic National Convention as the volunteer coordinator for the Kerry Campaign, and a visibility whip on the convention floor.

Political conventions exist for the cameras, and the cameras like to see audiences with a sea of signs. But where do all those banners come from? Margaret Mason outlines the life cycle of a rally sign.

Illinois is yelling at me. I’m on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, waiting for my signal to pass out signs to three different states. But Illinois would like to have them now. All of them. I get my cue and start passing.

As I hand out the signs, my underpants begin hiking up. My arms are overfull, and I’m surrounded by thousands of people. By the time I finish, my underwear is well above the line of my pants—and Illinois is still screaming. I turn around and see a CNN cameraman filming me from behind.

For most of the past decade I’ve been a full-time writer and editor. I’ve logged a lot of quality time with teacups and tidy desks. As I’ve told many friends, working at the convention is a lot like emerging from a comfortable, warm bath, drying off, and then hopping into a vat of ferrets.

Whip it Good
“Visibility whips” are the volunteers who distribute signs and small souvenirs on the convention floor. This is my job. One of the job requirements is the ability to break into a full sprint whenever necessary.

After our first few sign passes, we learn to hold them so we don’t get nasty paper cuts on our forearms when someone grabs them unexpectedly. We also learn how to say “excuse me” so it never sounds like a request. Mostly, we exchange uneasy glances when we learn we’re passing out convention souvenirs rather than signs. We call the souvenirs “chum,” as in the hunks of raw meat you throw into the water to churn up sharks. Everyone’s clamoring for signs, but even statesmen in somber suits will maim each other for a keychain flashlight.

Flag Waving
Our timeline for the speeches is rough because many run long. (You may remember how Al Sharpton’s six minutes stretched into 20.) Whips wait in the entry halls and then move into our sections when it’s about time for a new round of signs.

In many cases, this means that we’re standing within the crowd for ten minutes or so while the speaker finishes a speech. This is when things get a little heated. The crowd sees what we’re about to hand out, and they begin to flock.

I have a precarious embrace around 500 small American flags. Several people try to snatch a bundle or two from my arms without asking. I reserve my nastiest looks for these folks; I am disappointed in them.

When I begin to pass the flags, many people stand, gesture frantically, and call out to me. Of course, there aren’t enough flags for everyone, and most people understand that this is just the way it is. Still, when my arms are empty, I hear one man’s voice above the crowd. “Girl!” he yells. “GIRL!”

My spine tightens, and I turn slowly to find the gentleman a few rows back. When he sees he’s caught my attention, he pops his eyes and flexes his jaw. The effect is comedic, crazed, and disproportionately intense. I am briefly grateful he had to pass through a metal detector to be here.

Fingers splayed, he gestures in wide circles toward his chest, like a magician willing his hypnotized subject to come forward. He wants to talk to me. He wants to chat about how he did not get a flag.

I blink at him in disbelief, then laugh and trudge back upstairs to gather signs for the next push.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Over four days, we’ll pass out 169,932 signs (those last two are extra-large posters for New Mexico’s governor Bill Richardson). Most are mass-produced—the ones that nod in a sea of approval during major speeches.

The whips are here to help ensure that there are no “sign clots” or empty rows when a network camera scans our section. The audience needs to have signs at the exact right moment, needs to know when to hold them up, and needs to know when to put them down. As you might imagine, producing and dispersing these signs—and providing instructions to go with them—is no small organizational task.

First off, because the Secret Service is a bit touchy about these things, the signs must be made in such a way that no one can use them as weapons. That means no wooden stakes as signposts. Shelly, the floor manager for many a past convention, special orders thousands of miniature mailing tubes for signposts instead.

Also, because the fire marshal isn’t keen on having huge piles of highly flammable paper signs in the building, each night’s signs are stored in large trucks outside. These are unloaded in the mornings and placed in holding rooms backstage.

No Rest for the Weary
My husband Bryan has been working in event production for years. He’s taken two weeks off work to be here, as a visibility manager, which means he helps organize and run the sign operation. The weekend before the convention his team realizes there’s a problem.

The signs are safe in their trucks and ready to go, except for one small thing: In the chaos of sign construction, everyone has been tossing signs into the trucks willy-nilly. This is an organizational nightmare. Each truck should be loaded with signs for a particular day, so they can be stored and unloaded easily.

So now each of the three trucks must be reloaded so it contains the signs for its assigned night. Unfortunately, nearly all of the signs are wrapped in opaque garbage bags, which means that the bags must be ripped open, the signs identified—and sometimes re-bagged—before they can be loaded into the correct truck.

Once that problem is solved, a new one emerges. Some of the signs are late coming back from the printer, and, on the eve of the convention, someone needs to go get them. Unfortunately, the area around the Fleet Center has already been secured by the Secret Service. The Secret Service, it seems, isn’t fond of large trucks driving into its secured areas.

Bryan picks up the signs, and drives them back to the Secret Service Marshalling Yard. There, he waits until midnight to be processed. He drives the truck through a huge X-ray machine (farewell, viable sperm), and then waits as a bomb-sniffing dog examines the vehicle. It sniffs the bumper, the engine, Bryan’s bag, Bryan’s shoes, the glove compartment, and each bag of signs in the back.

Several hours later, a police officer escorts Bryan and the signs into the secure area and volunteers begin unloading them. That morning, I meet Bryan with a freshly ironed shirt and a cup of coffee. And he’s ready for a new day.

The System
The convention hall is divided into about nine major zones. Each zone has a coordinator, who is in radio contact with the two visibility managers, who give the cues. The zone coordinators each have a team of about five visibility whips.

In the afternoon before opening night, zone coordinators receive rough timelines that indicate cues for when the signs should go up. Coordinators gather their whips and take signs from the large holding areas over to mini staging rooms closer to their zones. At about 4 p.m., the action starts.

We wait in our staging areas until the zone coordinators get a radio call to move into position. In some areas of the hall, the radios aren’t working as well as they should be. The visibility managers shout, “GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO!” when it’s time to pass the signs. The idea is that at least one or two “GOs” will get through the spotty reception and to the zone coordinators.

When coordinators hear “the go,” they signal to the team. At this point, the visibility whips (that’s me) give about half the signs to political and delegate whips, who are associated with the individual states, and the rest of the signs they pass out directly to the audience.

We pass the signs with instructions, “Raise this when Mrs. Edwards gets onstage, please” or “Wave your flag when Willie Nelson sings.” This message is reinforced by the political whips, who also get radio instructions from backstage. After that, we cross our fingers.

Do You Know Who I Am?
On the final day, the visibility team realizes that the tall vertical signs in front of the podium will block the photographers’ shots of Kerry during his speech. Twenty-five volunteers spend an hour trimming sign handles with X-Acto blades.

That night, the fire marshal closes the floor early. We get advance warning and are told to get as many signs as possible into the auditorium before we’re shut out.

We have about half the signs inside before the floor closes, and most of us are stranded outside. We go to each door looking for sympathetic security checkers. At this point, only a quarter of our team is on the floor for the sign passes.

A locked-out delegate sees me rushing around in my yellow safety vest and assumes I have authority.

“They’re not letting anyone on the floor!” he yells.

“I know, I’m so sorry. The fire marshal shut things down because there’s too many bodies.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“I don’t, sir.”

“I have to be out there!”

“I’m so sorry, sir.”

“Don’t be sorry. Do something about it.”

“Sir, I have zero power.”

“Well, who the hell does have power?”

“The fire marshal.”

“Well you tell your superiors that I’m locked out. You just tell them and see what they have to say about that.”

“Yes, sir.”

He wanders back to the door, too flustered to realize that I still don’t know who he is. He turns his tirade on an 18-year-old security volunteer, who shakes her head a few times and then avoids eye contact.

Where Are the Balloons?
Despite the frantic pace and the aching muscles, the convention has hundreds of small beautiful moments that make everything worthwhile.

On our second flag pass, I decide to test a theory. As I give people the flags I say, “There won’t be enough of these for everyone. We’ll need to be kind to each other.” Each person smiles at me, mumbles “of course,” and passes the flags along politely. Magic.

A few times a night, everyone in the convention hall sings something in unison. There’s nothing so lovely as thousands of people singing “America the Beautiful.” Then again, I also find myself tearing up at everyone dancing and singing along to “Johnny B. Goode.” Of course, by this point I haven’t really slept in a week. On occasion we pass out handmade signs drawn in thick Crayola marker; Kids for Kerry has been working on them for weeks. They say things like, “Kerry is da’ man!” or “Kerry rocks my socks” with a small drawing of argyle socks in the corner. In the back room, we read through every one.

For every creep on the floor, there’s someone who pats me on the back and tells me what a good job I’m doing. Guam gives me an enamel pin because I make sure they get signs in the far back corner. A few nights later, I get a pin from West Virginia. “West Virginia loves you,” the delegate says. I think West Virginia may be tipsy.

Pausing to look out as everyone raises the signs, my breath catches. When Teresa Heinz Kerry walks on stage to see the field of bobbing “We love Teresa!” signs, my friend Birgitte grabs my arm. “Do you see how touched she is? We did that. We did that!”

And it’s true. When everything goes as planned, the effect can be breathtaking: thousands of people who have come to the same conclusion at the same moment, thousands of people who couldn’t agree more. All of us would like a new president, please.

Thanks to You

Thank you, friends. You’ve made the last couple of days so much better than they would have been without you. Thank you for all of your support, for telling me you were holding my hand, hugging me, keeping me in your thoughts, for offering your guest rooms, hot water bottles, and shoulders. Most of all, thank you for making me feel safe enough to share things with you online. Here’s why that continues to be true.

All of you are part of a community that can leave more than 300 comments on an emotionally sensitive topic, and every last one of you offered support. Not a single comment increased the pain we’re going through — I didn’t have to use the delete button, no one ended up blocked, no one was even a little bit sarcastic. To a person, you have been incredibly gentle, and more gracious than I ever dared to hope.

Thank you for your kindness.

Bad News

Hi everyone, I have some painful news. I’ve resisted writing this because it feels so final, but here goes. Bryan and I are separated.

I know this will come as a surprise to many of you, as it has to some of our friends. We’re both of the fine, thanks! camp, which is ideal for soldiering on, but confusing when your eyes well up.

Hank is doing well, we both get to see him every day, and Bryan and I are working on rebuilding a friendship. Bryan continues to be an amazing dad, and he will always be family. In addition to Hank, we still share a group of supportive, understanding friends, so please don’t be confused if he shows up in photos now and again. We’re both trying to be grownups.

Thank you to those of you who have sent concerned emails about my occasional absences lately. I feel less dazed every day, but I still start when I notice the space where my wedding ring used to be. I so regret not having the emotional resources to do my best work here lately. I’m sorry about that, and I hope you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.

I’ve written a lot here about my dreams, and though this wasn’t part of my dream for my family, it has certainly been transformative.

In the last week or so I’ve finally felt solid enough to put together a plan, and while I still have all kinds of things I want to do, I’m also thinking more about how I’d like to feel and what I’d like to give. So let’s talk about all that good stuff in the coming week.

In the meantime, I owe you thanks for having been such a positive force in my life over the years. Thanks for being here with me in this upsetting time, just as you’ve celebrated with me in the happy moments. For those of you who are going through something difficult, I hope I can make you feel a little less alone too.

Here’s to more joy in all of our futures.