Advent calendar roundup! Nine days until we get festive AF.

Advent Calendar Kit Mini Cards, $12
I’m so glad someone finally did this. Advent calendar cards inscribed with 24 holiday activities, for those of you who prefer the ice rink to the mall.

Advent Grab Bag, $35
Nostalgic toys that are as much fun for grownups as kiddos, with 20 percent of profits going to IntraHealth. (As you likely already know, we make these. Which is why they’re so awesome.)

Scandinavian Specialty Coffee Advent Calendar, $150
Twenty-four advent packages of single origin specialty coffee, roasted to order. Holiday stamina in a box.

Susanne Kaufmann Advent Calendar, $178
A beautiful Advent calendar filled with various bath and body products to try.

The Whiskey Advent Calendar, $156
They Whiskey Advent folks expanded their line to include gin and vodka offerings as well, so stock up on mixers.

24 days of tea, $40
A new cup of tea every day while you wrap presents.

The Beauty Advent Calendar, $76
Includes skincare, makeup and hair care. A scattershot option for pleasing teens who like to point out that you bought the wrong brand.

Wine Advent Calendar, $129
A glass of wine every night. You win Christmas.

Look! A lovely thing that heralds carefree times!

We just finished packaging our Advent Grab Bags, $35, which means they’re finally ready to order. This is the fourth year we’ve made these kits, which are tiny Santa bags with a blindfold included. Every night, you or your kiddo can reach in for something that will make you happy about childhood.

I originally made the kits because I couldn’t find a pre-stocked advent set anywhere, and I was buying too many things in bulk just to get the one cool thing I wanted. Hank looks forward to them every year, and each toy was selected for maximum fun. So in my opinion, there’s no dumb stuff.

Just like last year, 20 percent of proceeds go to IntraHealth International. We hope to donate enough for a one-year training scholarship for two nurses. Those nurses go to a community that doesn’t have enough access to health workers, so you’re doing a good thing with your purchase.

Also!

Last year, several of you requested stocking stuffers. This is an excellent suggestion, so we put together a set of those too.

Picking the toys was very, very fun, and we ended up with a set of Stocking Stuffers for Little Kids, $56, and Stocking Stuffers for Big Kids, $56.

And finally, I saw too many Jewish friends buying kits for love. You sweeties. I know you guys were repackaging those, and I had guilt. So!

We made Hooray for Hanukkah! Gift Bags, $46. Aren’t they so cute? Worth it for the gelt-tasting party alone.

We also made a real, live shop to house everything called The Secret Cake Society. It’s named after the kids’ club at our wedding, which I’ll tell you about next week, because it was awesome.

In the meantime, go check out what’s inside the bags, and get your holidays all tidied up before the crazy sets in.

Want to see what I bought at the flea? Loot!

We had to sell the old cabin (ugh. oof.). But! We finally found a new weekend place so we have a place to escape from the one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco. So now we need furniture. This is for all our craft stuff.

We got this guy so Brad would have a place to put his fancy Panama Hat we bought in a junk shop in Australia.

But Ozzy has claimed him. Head is his new favorite friend, and he’s made of super lightweight balsa so Head will be pretty banged up in short order.

I even got him this little bead thingie for $8, but it proved a temporary distraction from the charms of Giant Wooden Head.

These were a crazy score. We got FIVE of these big ‘ol mirrors for no dollars. The new place has crazy high ceilings, so we needed something that would have a big impact on the wall.

We got this leather chair, sheepskin rug, and fake sheepskin pillow from my favorite lady at the flea. She’s always there with her son in a stall toward the back of the market, and she has killer taste.

Vintage cutting board needs love, and love it shall receive. The shape is so good.

Dansk is my favorite brand of pots, these are some of the remakes, but they were cheap and red! So I scooped them, even though I prefer the ones with the crazy handles.

This is a drafting table that we lowered so Ozzy and Hank could use it as an easel.

Weird Emu potholder.

This is side view of a wooden recipe box.

Tiny cowboy boots! $10!

Also, I was getting a sunburn, so chair lady sold me a hat for cheap. Thanks, chair lady! Ozzy likes to wear hats while he plays, so everyone was pleased.

Good scores right? Ah. I love you, Alameda Flea.

All my for-sale stuff was getting mixed up with all my can’t-buy-it stuff on Pinterest, so I just started a few shopping boards. Rectified.

ladywear
This is where I’m putting all the lady clothes I love while I wait for everything to go on sale.

fleamarket
This is vintage stuff I find for sale that’s the wrong size, or redonk expensive, or so crazy perfect but I live in a one-bedroom apartment with a spouse and two children and I’m trying to keep the pathways open.

try it, you’ll like it
An almost-never-updated board of things that are perfect. Peeeerrrrrfect. The best of everything for you, my friend.

In other stuff news, I love this super simple grey backpack with charging capability, $200. Good fancy gift.

Love,
Maggie

Brad needed a desk lamp, so I went hunting at an antique shop last weekend. Finds!

I got this ’50s desk lamp with the original fiberglass(?) shades. The lights bend to shine wherever you want, and you can turn on each bulb individually or both at once. When we got home, I considered stealing it for my own desk because I wasn’t sure Brad understood the lamp like I did. Then he got agitated when I moved it to my desk to take this photo, even though he had not yet plugged it in. So he gets to keep it.

Bakelite salt and pepper shakers. You press that button on the top, and it moves this little plug at the bottom to dispense. It dispenses a lot of salt, which is delicious.

Ugly ’70s purse! So divine.

Also, I bought another architectural vintage hat without a specific plan of where I’ll wear it. I’m like a cat lady, but with hats. Except hats don’t eat your face when you die alone in your apartment. So that’s an upside.

He has everything he needs. But for Valentine’s Day, you want him to have a little more. Some simple gifts to let him know he’s loved.

I Like Your Face Mug, $14

Best delivered first thing in the morning with fresh-brewed coffee inside.

The Rap Year Book: The Most Important Rap Song From Every Year Since 1979, Discussed, Debated, and Deconstructed, $12

Maybe give this to him the day before Valentine’s Day. He’s not gonna look up for a few hours.

Men’s Cotton House Slippers, $17

Slippers that keep his toes warm, but don’t make his feet sweat. Key.

Calvin Klein Modal Boxer Briefs, $23

Sexier than silk boxers with hearts all over them. Plus he might actually wear them.

Lagavulin Scotch 16 Year, $90

He buys you lingerie, you buy him top-shelf booze. Both of you so selfless.

P.S.
Gift Guide: Classic Gifts for Men
Sexy Times Gift Guide

If you don’t want to talk about sexy things, here is a link to that panda rolling in the snow.

For the rest of you, there has been a recent advancement in sex technology. It’s offensively named, air-through-your-teeth ugly, and expensive like you don’t need to eat. Still, I want to give one to everyone I know, like the world’s creepiest fairy godmother.

Meet The Womanizer.

So beautiful, no? As I mentioned, the designs come in different variations of eye smack, but we all need to get past that. Because, damn.

“The Womanizer” is like a vibrator, but it doesn’t necessarily touch your clitoris. Instead it provides light suction and varying speeds of vibration that combine to make things happen… quickly.

Here’s a more thorough, educated Womanizer review. I just thought you should know this existed. Solidarity.

Order now, panic wrap the night before.

A Handmade Valentine
Gather your scissors, glue, and heart-shaped whatsits! The key here is not to produce something artistic, just something that looks like it took you more than ten minutes. Go classic with Doilies, blank cards, heart-shaped cards. Or buy one of these Rocket-Ship Valentine Kits. Your love is out of this world, Valentine!

14K Gold Bar Earrings, $62
The best kind of jewelry is the kind you never need to take off. So you’ll be seeing a lot of these as the evening wears on.

Fujifilm Instax Share Smartphone Printer, $147

This lets you print polaroids from digital photos stored on your phone or computer. She already wants one.

Ultra Flannel Throw Blanket, $20

You know that G-string you bought her? That isn’t technically for her. Plus, now she’s cold. Ultra soft cuddling blankets make it possible to wear less clothing. Everyone’s a winner.

Love Coupons, $12

If she doesn’t care about presents, but loves it when you do things for her, draw up some coupons for gassing up her car, having her shoes shined, grabbing sanitary products at the drugstore without complaint. Romantic stuff.

A Heart Shaped Box of Chocolate, $45

Sweet both literally and figuratively. Pair these with the cozy blanket and your weekend plans are in place. Happy Valentine’s Day, you crazy kids.

P.S. Classic Gifts for Women, my Mighty Girl Valentine Guide from 2015 (ignore the beard oil), and Mighty Girl Valentine Guide from 2014.