You Need to Listen

A man up the street is screaming into his cell phone. It is early morning, still grey.

NO! SHUT UP! YOU NEED TO LISTEN. YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME.

I push the stroller across the street quickly, and try to figure out where the sound is coming from. He is at least two blocks away, dressed in a red sports jersey and matching track pants.

I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT! I GOT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT. YOU NEED TO SHUT UP RIGHT NOW AND LISTEN TO ME.

He takes a few steps, pauses to scream, takes a few more steps. Hank and I walk to the neighborhood coffee shop and take a seat. A few minutes later, I see the man through the window. The hum of the cafe deadens his words, but he is gesturing in wide sweeps. He holds the phone to his ear for a moment, and then swings it out so he can scowl at it while he yells into the receiver, as though it were a microphone.

His gestures remind me of a hellfire preacher at the pulpit. I can see he isn’t actually angry, not anymore. He’s simply enjoying the gestures that accompany refined rage. He is flawless, infuriated, and somehow harmless. He could be a lovely actor, I think, and then retrieve Hank’s pacifier from the floor.

Dirty Talk

Rachel: The size charts are weird.
Me: I’m usually a B, but I’m probably a C right now.
Bryan: Are you guys talking about boobs?
Me: No. We’re talking about pantyhose.
Bryan: Oh. Talk about boobs instead.
Me: Boobs, boobs, boobs. I love boobs. Boobs.
Rachel: I have two of them.
Bryan: You guys suck at this.
Rachel: Maggie has boobs.
Bryan: Warmer.
Maggie: Rachel also has boobs.
Rachel: Bryan and Ryan do not have boobs.
Me: But what they lack in boobs, they make up for in charm.
Bryan: Forget it.
Ryan: I’m gettin’ hot.

Kid’s Stuff

It’s ready! So, here’s the big news:

Today, we’re launching a sister site to Mighty Goods called Mighty Junior. It’s a shopping site dedicated to good stuff for kids and the people who love them. It is also wicked awesome, and I almost can’t believe it’s finally happening.

Melissa Summers, who some of you may already know from Suburban Bliss, is the new site editor, and we couldn’t be luckier. I’m so pleased to be working with her, not only because she has great taste and a mean sense of humor, but also because she’s one of the people who makes my life more fun.

So, go look! And let us know what you think.

Secret Stuff, Awesome Stuff

You guys. Good stuff is happening for Mighty Mighty Media, otherwise known as the Publishing Empire Run from Our Living Room Couch. We’re making something new — exciting and new! — and next week I’m totally going to show you what it is. You cannot even wait.

In the meantime, Mighty Goods has been nominated for a Blogger’s Choice Award for Best Shopping Blog. (Woot!) Will you please go vote to help Mighty Goods reign supreme? There’s only one day of voting left, but it appears that we still have a shot at it.

Mighty Girl was nominated for Best Blog About Stuff, Best Humor Blog, and (awkwardly) Hottest Mommy Blogger. I’ve gotten exactly two votes for yummy mummy, but I am sure this is only because I didn’t actually post photos of my muffin top after just barely fitting into my pre-preggo jeans. Heather Armstrong is among those in the lead for Hot Mama, and I encourage you to vote for her. Because? Her cheek bones could cut glass. And? I’d like to mock her.

Also, it’s really nice to be nominated for stuff like this. Thanks you guys.

Baby Bullet Wound Tee

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Wha?, originally uploaded by MaggieMason.

Unfortunate design choice. I’m guessing the person who made this didn’t consider how much it looked like a blood spatter when printed in these colors.