Art-World Petty

Art World pettiness is so labor intensive. Artists don’t just talk shit to shame you, they spend a year or two creating something that shames you.

Case in point: A few years ago, Artist Anish Kapoor went a little Sméagol and secured exclusive rights to a pigment dubbed Vantablack. It’s said to be the “blackest black” material available, and it’s his, aaaaall his.

This provoked Artist Stuart Semple, who responded by creating this:


It’s called Pinkest Pink, and you can have some for about five bucks. That is, unless you’re Anish Kapoor. Semple’s shop prohibits procurement by Kapoor or an agent thereof.

The pink pigment sold out almost immediately, and while he was manufacturing more, Semple also developed Diamond Dust.


It’s the glitteriest glitter known to man. Or rather, known to all but that one man.

Pregnancy Portrait by Michelle Morrison

My friend Michelle Morrison is an artist who specializes in what she calls “Nudie Judies.” I adore them. When she posted the one above, I joked that I wanted her to add a belly so I could say it was me pregnant.

Instead, she drew a pregnancy portrait just for me. I’m an official Nudie Judy!

I’m excited, and also so touched. Thank you, Michelle.

You’ll find more of Michelle’s work for purchase at her portfolio site I’m not sure if she takes commissions, but if you’d like to be a Judy too, it couldn’t hurt to ask.

Sonia and Mark Whitesnow

Sonia and Mark Whitesnow are Russian artists who work as a duo. Gorgeous.

Update: I deleted the two top images from this post, when friends on Facebook pointed out that they thought the women in the photos were in blackface. I didn’t see it at all until they pointed it out, and now of course I see it immediately. I link to them only to provide a reference point for the conversation. Apologies to those of you who saw the images and found them unsettling.

Van Damme, JT, and Daft Punk Valentine Printables

Designer Brad Ellis of Pacific Helm made some printable Valentines with me. By which I mean Brad did all the work and I said, “Put these funny words on it.” Teamwork! The PDFs are linked below, so you can print your Valentine last-minute when you suddenly realize you’re in love.

Jean Claude Van Damme Valentine PDF

Justin Timberlake Valentine PDF

Daft Punk Valentine PDF

You can see more of Brad’s illustrations right here. Thanks, mister!