George Bush Would Still Be Terrified

I was watching TV last night when, suddenly, my shoulder and upper arm began to tingle and erupted in gooseflesh. It was so startling that I jumped a little. Did something just brush up against me? Some sort of crazy energy field? (We have those in California.) A ghost? Or perhaps the bony, beckoning finger of Death?

The isolated patch of goosebumps continued to prickle, and the bumps were extreme. “Look at this!” I said to Bryan. He examined my arm and murmured in appropriately confused tones.

Then I remembered I had eaten a single pretzel a few minutes earlier. Turns out they were coated in some sort of yeast powder. I tried another one an hour or so later, and the isolated goosebumps resumed.

So, it wasn’t so much an ectoplasmic energy transfer from the netherworld. It was a pretzel.

But! You may be saying, “Maggie? What if it was a magic pretzel that gave you psychic powers?” And that’s an excellent point. I’ll keep you posted.

Families at Outsideland

http://www.db798.com/pictobrowser.swf

Last weekend, we had media passes to the Outsidelands festival, a multi-day, outdoor concert in Golden Gate Park. The passes were courtesy of Crowdfire, a Web app that makes it easy to find out what people are saying about an event by aggregating attendees’ Twitter, Flickr, You Tube, and Facebook feeds. Useful, yo.

Anyway, Hank had a great time, and I was amazed at how many families were there. It’s nice when organizers take a few small steps — like allowing strollers, or not charging for wee ones — that make it possible to include your kids in the fun parts of grownup life.

Robbed, I Tell You

So. What can I say about being burglarized that’s constructive?

Well, first off, none of us were hurt. The thief broke in in the middle of the day, and we all (oddly) happened to be gone. So the burglar got our stuff, but the baby is safe. It makes me feel better just to type that, actually. Isn’t it nicer when you don’t have to attack a guy climbing in your apartment window while the baby looks on? I think so.

Fortunately, our sentimental things are mostly not expensive things, but this whole robbery gig is starting to feel personal. As you may remember, in December, someone stole my purse while we were in Argentina. The car’s been broken into a couple of times in the last year (always in different neighborhoods), and Bryan had his bike stolen from a coffee shop near his office a couple months ago. Whee!

However, having a baddie inside the house is a whole new level of yuck. Seeing all our drawers dumped out on the bed, waiting for the police to come take fingerprints, noticing one thing is gone, and then another, all day long. It’s gross. It makes me want to give the whole apartment a shower.

Anyway, we’re fine, but shaken. For the next few days I’m going to try not to cry when someone cuts me off in traffic or is curt to me as I’m ordering coffee, and then we’ll see how it goes.

Thanks to everyone who Twittered their concern. You guys keep proving how nice you are, and that is why I like you.

From Your Keyboards to My Butt

So remember when I told you that most women’s underwear makes me want to stab people? I asked the universe where to get comfy yet stylish underwear, and 105 of you ponied up.

As a thank you, here’s a round up of the cutest and most oft’ name-checked undies in the all of Mightyland:

Adorable Enough to Risk It

Aerie Gobstopper Boyfly Boybrief (3 Votes)


$4 (on sale) from American Eagle

Maidenform “Micro & Lace” Boy-Short Panty (2 Votes)


$9 from Macy’s

Lulu Boy Pant (1 Vote)


$35 from Macy’s

Cute and Reliable

Hanky Panky Boy Shorts and Bikinis (7 votes) and Thongs (4 votes)


$34 each from Nordstrom


$26 each from Nordstrom


$18 each from Nordstrom

(I must interject here that I will wear thongs only for as long it takes to get me laid, but so many people mentioned these that I couldn’t ignore them.)

Women’s Mesh Hipster Underwear (4 Votes)


$3 each (on sale) from Old Navy

Straightforward Crowd Pleasers

Gilligan & O’Malley Modal Underwear (3 Votes)


$10 for two from Target

Hanes Body Creations Stretch Cotton Hipster (4 votes)


$8 for three from Amazon

Regular Rise Cotton Bikini (9 votes)


$4 (on sale) from Gap Body

Jockey Comfies Cotton Bikinis (4 Votes)


$24 for three from Jockey

There now. I feel more pleasant already.

Eight Books That Changed Things For Me

Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women
by Susan Faludi

I read this in college and it completely changed my worldview. A feminist is a person who believes in equality between the sexes — so it turns out I am a feminist. This came as a surprise to me at the time. Also, it looks like there’s some seriously, concretely unfair shit going down for women, even in the U.S. I had no idea.

The Gift of Fear
by Gavin De Becker

It’s a waste of time to be afraid all the time. Trust your instincts to tell you when something is genuinely amok, and when they do, take immediate action.

The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade
by Thomas Lynch

This book by a poet who is also an undertaker helps me remember that being happy, or at least aware, is the best use of my time. It also gave me perspective on assisted suicide, and the ways individual anguish can eclipse you, needlessly.

Years later, this passage still sticks with me:

“Here was a young man who had killed himself, remarkably, to deliver a message to a woman he wanted to remember him. No doubt she does. I certainly do. But the message itself seemed inconsequential, purposefully vague. Did he want to be dead forever, or only absent from the pain? ‘I wanted to die,’ is all it seemed to say clearly. ‘Oh,’ is what the rest of us say.”

The Four Agreements
by Don Miguel Ruiz

I’ve mentioned this book before, and if you’re feeling adrift, it’s a good little system to help get you grounded again. I wrote more about it here.

The Wealthy Barber: Everyone’s Commonsense Guide to Becoming Financially Independent
by David Chilton

It’s not a work of literary genius, but it’s clear, it’s a quick read, and it fills you in on all the financial stuff your parents didn’t teach you.

Learning to Love You More
by Harrell Fletcher, Miranda July, Julia Bryan-Wilson, and Laura Lark

I like how Miranda July seems to have always tackled the next most interesting thing, and she’s built a pretty inspiring life that way. This book of projects reminds me that it’s always a good decision to let your interests guide you.

Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior
by Judith Martin

An anthropology book on my own culture, and the reasons behind the societal contracts we’ve made. Now when I’ve pissed someone off, I usually know why.

Otherwise: New and Selected Poems
by Jane Kenyon

Jane Kenyon’s poems make me feel keener, like I can smell better and hear things more clearly. I read them when I’m feeling muddled to help me re-focus.

Now! Tell me which books changed things for you, because I think it will be interesting.

Do it.

Twitter Etiquette

I just finished a new article for The Morning News: Writing My Twitter Etiquette Article: 14 Ways to Use Twitter Politely.

So, you may be asking yourself, “Why should I change the way I Twitter to satisfy a bunch of whiny tweetards who don’t even know how to use Twitter anyway? They can just unsubscribe if I’m breaking their precious rules.”

True. Yeah, I think you have a little spittle on your chin there.

Anyway, some of us would prefer to keep followers from leaving in droves. If that’s the case for you, there are lots of little ways to preserve their sanity. Go have a look.