Momversation: Birth Plans

http://blip.tv/play/g4p8gYDRHZDiFw

For those of you who haven’t given birth, birth plans are these instructional sheets you give your hospital team to let them know what kind of delivery you want. I didn’t have one written out, because I tried to remain in denial about labor while I was pregnant, which totally worked for me.

Nancy O’Dell guest stars on this one, because Momversation has guest stars now. Weird, right? I know! Today Momversation, tomorrow America’s Next Top Model. You guys should come over, we’ll practice our walks.

My Gang of Street Toughs

My good friend Josh Cagan was guest hosting the prompts on Plinky last week as part of the promotion for his new movie Bandslam. I’m getting to them a little late, but here’s the answer to my favorite one:

OH NO, IT’S A RUMBLE! Quick, put together your ideal gang of street toughs!

When I need to assemble a gang of street toughs, and I need to do it fast, I turn to professionals. As usual, Sean “P. Diddy” Combs has anticipated a market for frenzied, murderous song-and-dance crews, and has conveniently assembled Danity Kane.

These girls have it all — doe eyes, gams that go all the way up, and a volatile helping of latent rage. Plus, they already have matching silver-lamé cutout leotards. So, timesaver.

I know what you’re thinking; the ladies can’t exactly dance. But what they lack in dance talent, they make up for in heart. And the desire to bathe in your arterial blood.

The Power of Words, and Continuity

From an interview with Argentine director Lucrecia Martel in Bomb Magazine:

“It doesn’t matter how real or true the facts are; the issue is how something that somebody says is transformed into something that will change the world… I can say something—it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not—but your reaction and the emotion it generates within you are real. It happens a lot in lovers’ quarrels, where people say things that they probably don’t even mean, but once stated, they are reacted to as if they are true. It is actually the person being spoken to who gives these words their power.”

“In Salta, repeating the lives of others is a goal. Establishing continuity gives security and prestige: the doctor who has a son who is a doctor, and who uses his father’s office.”

Rita Konig on Luxury

Thinking about a Rita Konig quote published in Domino:

“There’s something about the size of everything in Italy. The glass of wine is small and so is the order of spaghetti. Here, everything is too big, which is about value, not luxury.”

DIY J Crew Astrid Sweater with Ruffles

Remember the pink sweater I started after seeing the project over at Orange Beautiful? It’s finished!

DIY Ruffled Cardigan - Mighty Girl

Is this not the grown up version of a tutu? It is quite possibly the pinkest thing I have ever owned. When I wear it, I smell like Bing cherries in a bed of warm cotton candy.

The original J Crew Version was $425, and isn’t available anymore, but I followed the step by step on Orange Beautiful to make this one.

I did things a little differently, because her version required more patience than I could muster, so here’s a run through if you want to make one for yourself. Start with a jacket or slightly boxy sweater, and then embellish it thusly:

1. Buy some fabric. The original rosettes are silk charmeause, but I chose polyester chiffon, because I wanted the flowers to be fluffy instead of cascading. You’ll need about 4 yards of whichever you choose.

2. Cut the fabric in strips and fold it to size. You want your petals to be about 4″ H x 2.5″ W. So I cut my fabric in strips, then folded the strips in half several times until I had a stack of material about the right size. This doesn’t need to be an exact science, but you want something that looks kind of like this:

3. Sew a knot in the middle of the stack to hold the pieces together, and then cut along the folds to create a grouping of square “petals.”

4. Cut the corners off the stack of squares until you have a roughly oval shape:

5. Here’s where it gets a little tedious. Take three layers of fabric at a time, bunch them by hand, and then pass the needle through a few times until you have the ruffles you want. Repeat with the next three layers and so on, until you have a finished rosette:

6. If you don’t like the effect, go back in with your needle and tease apart any layers that are too clumped or whatnot. The back of my rosettes looked like this:

7. When you have about 30 flowers, attach them to your sweater or jacket by hand. I’d wait until you’ve mostly finished the flowers to affix them, because your rosettes will get better as you go along, and you’ll want the prettiest ones up by your face, right? (I didn’t do this, and I wish I had).

8. When all the flowers are affixed, fill in any gaps by sewing down the top and bottom petals of the flowers in areas that need attention.

9. Pull away any stray threads from the flowers’ raw edges.

10. Wear your sweater around the house for a few hours, and pause to trade bon mots with imaginary dignitaries whenever you pass a mirror.

Cute! Now where am I going to wear it? Someone please get married. Thank you.