Classic Valentine’s Day 101

You’re the less romantic one in your relationship, and maybe Valentine’s Day is causing some anxiety. If you’re curious how to make the day a win for you, these are some sweet, hyper-traditional gifts. They say the only thing your love wants to hear on Valentine’s Day: I remembered.

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For Valentine’s Day, the actual Valentine is obligatory. You can buy a card, but a handmade Valentine is sweeter. This set of ten heart cards with envelopes, $9 lets you write love notes for other occasions too. Earnest expressions of affection are a safer bet than humor. “Be my Valentine, [love’s name]!” is just fine. Maybe draw a little picture, or cut and glue some photos from magazines. Effort counts here.

Now you need a present. You don’t have to spend a lot, google free or cheap Valentine’s Day gifts if you need help.

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A small heart-shaped box of good chocolate is kitschy fantastic.  Prestat Artisan Pink Heart Shaped Box, $25 is a great one. (You can get it on Amazon for $34, if ease is your thing.) If your Valentine is dieting, ask if chocolate would be a nice treat or an act of sabotage.

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A dozen red roses, $31 is Valentine’s Day in floral form. If you’d prefer a grand gesture, you can order two dozen roses, $48. People who find this cheesy can be ferreted out by asking, “Do you think red roses on Valentine’s Day are cheesy or nice?” And if the answer is “Cheesy, but I like flowers.” look for another bouquet with only one type of flower. Because of the flower rush on Valentine’s Day, florists sometimes sub-in weird stuff when you order a “mixed bouquet.” If your person doesn’t like flowers “because they just die,” your partner may not actually give a crap if you remember Valentine’s Day.

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Love Poems by Pablo Neruda, $10 is solid. Ideally, you’ll read it first, and inscribe the book with something romantic. If you’re at a loss, “I love you!” is a good bet, but you can also quote a line from one of the poems. If Neruda isn’t your jam, here’s a nice edition of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. For bonus points, read through and mark a few applicable sentiments.

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Jewelry as a gift says you’re serious about this person. Diamond studs, from $235 are classic, but you can buy any kind of jewelry in your price range. Like these gold-dipped studs for $20, or this pretty bangle for $28.

Unless the person has specifically mentioned they want a piece of jewelry, you’ll want to keep your choice very simple. Avoid heart-shaped pieces, because most of those are cute on Valentine’s Day but a little odd to wear otherwise. Also avoid rings, because they can cause a confusing Is this a proposal? moment.

Okay! Today is February 1. Order something now and set an alarm on your phone for February 13, so you can get everything sorted for presentation on Valentine’s Day morning.  First thing. This is so your love doesn’t spend the day worried that you forgot, instead of smiling about how uncharacteristically thoughtful you’ve been.

In addition to a card and a gift, plan for one special meal or event — maybe breakfast in bed, or a nicer dinner than usual. If you’re broke, a long walk or lighting candles for regular dinner counts too.

Happy Valentine’s Day, friend. You got this.

See also:
Not Stupid Gifts for Women
Valentine Gift Guide for Her

Literary Valentines

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays, so I’m about to come down with another gift guide flurry as an exercise in alleviating my anxiety. Love! It’s chiller than hate.

The couple that reads together lives happily ever after.

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Walt Whitman Valentine, $4
The ultimate outcome of growing old together.

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George Orwell Valentine, $3
Let’s embrace our dystopian future as a team.

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Reader Valentine, $4
Another year in paradise. Until she meets his old friend Milton, am I right guys?

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Pablo Neruda Valentine, $5
Charming or foreboding, depending on where we’re at with this relationship.

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Ernest Hemingway Valentine/Print, $8
I have no snark for this quote. Classic.

Unique Wedding Readings

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Our friend Evany married us, and this photo was taken just as she muttered something about spinning wheels and our first born child.

We got married in July, and man is it a bear to find non-trite wedding readings. This is especially true when it’s not your first marriage and there are already kids in the mix. In case you’re curious, or looking yourself, here’s what we picked.

Here by Grace Paley

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that’s who I wanted to be

at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that’s my old man across the yard
he’s talking to the meter reader
he’s telling him the world’s sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips

An excerpt from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird:

“E.L. Doctorow said once said that ‘Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.’ You don’t have to see where you’re going, you don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice on writing, or life, I have ever heard”

And finally, Brad is a big fan of Bob Ross and his happy little trees. We chose a bunch of his quotes together, and I arranged them into a sort of found poem. It was so simple, and true, and I ended up loving it:

Arranged quotations from Bob Ross

It’s so important to do something every day that will make you happy.

Just let go, and fall like a little waterfall.

That’s when you experience true joy. When you have no fear.

We’re gonna make some big decisions in our little world.

Don’t be afraid to make these big decisions. Once you start, they just sort of make themselves.

That’s what makes life fun. That you can make these decisions. That you can create the world you want.

Life is too short to be alone, too precious. Share it with a friend.

It’s life. It’s interesting. It’s fun.

Let it make you happy.

If you have good suggestions for wedding readings, please fire away in comments.

Gifts For Men with Good Stories and Smiley Eyes

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Oak Bar Tool, $39
He gets a cool toy, you get cocktails when you get home from work.

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Mini Lumio Book Lamp, $125
We got one of these illuminated books as a wedding gift, and it’s one of the most magical things we own.

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Tiny Everstrike Lighter, $10
So much of masculinity is based on the ability to call forth fire in myriad circumstances.

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Arduboy, $49
Arduboy is a credit-card-sized, open-source game system that you can program yourself. It was funded on Kickstarter and looks pretty cool.

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Ceramic Flask, $92
Now he can feel sophisticated sneaking booze into the movie theater.

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Paper Bots: PaperMade, $13
Sometimes he misses getting toys for the holidays.

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Felt Bedside Caddy, $20
What he really wants in life is first crack at the remote.

Gifts for Tiny, Yawning Babies

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David Bowie Rock n Sole’ Baby slippers, $39 MrsBojingles
Amost everything in this shop is amazing. Go consider all the tiny baby feet in Daft Punk slippers.

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Felt Grey Whale Baby Rattle, $20 Newmies
Call me Ishmael.

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Grimm’s Wooden Stacking and Nesting Bowls, $32
A pretty developmental toy.

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Boon Marco Light-Up Bath Toy, $9 Amazon
1,000 Leagues Under the Sink Faucet

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Rhino Toys Oball Original, $7 Amazon
These balls are so easy for babies to grasp.

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Natural Disk Rattle, $21 Cooper Hewitt

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Playable Art Ball, $30 MoMA Store

Also have a look at Toys that are Good for Baby Brains, 0-6 Months.

Pinkies Up! Tea Gift Ideas

Tea keeps your hands warm, and your worries at bay. Let’s get all cozy.

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Sori Yanagi Stainless Steel Kettle, $78
I bought this a few months ago, and it’s one of my favorite things. The handle feels beautiful when you lift it, it’s not heavy when it’s full, and the lid is loose enough that you can keep your hands away from the steam when you lift it for a refill.

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iNeibo Tea Infuser, $8

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Matte Grey Kitchen Canister, $20 on Letliv
Pretty for storing loose-leaf tea on the counter. Or weed, if you live in one of the seven hippie states.

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Friend Mug, $28 on Aurelie Dorard
Hi, little guy. Handmade in France.

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OXO Good Grips Anniversary Edition Uplift Tea Kettle, $80
Cork handle is so genius. Plus, when you lift the handle of this kettle, it triggers a lever that moves the whistle so you can pour.

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Kusmi Tea Collection, $105 on Amazon
Kusmi tea tins are gorgeous, I save all of mine. This sampler set contains fifteen mini-tins, and the tea is very good quality. If you’re looking for a more modest gift, consider their tins of Prince Vladmir black tea ($18), or Rose Green Tea ($18).

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Takeya Double-Wall Glass Tea Tumbler, $20 on Amazon
If your tea person drinks whole-leaf tea, half the point is watching the leaves unfurl.

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Robot Hanging Tea Leaf Infuser Strainer, $7
Tea robot. Crucial.

Gifts are my thing. If you’re looking for more, here’s my gift board, which will likely have these items pinned to the top.

Shop Blue, the Democrats’ Gift Guide

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I just launched Shop Blue, a gift guide for Democrats.

Shop Blue features product listings from stores owned by Democrats who are women, religious and ethnic minorities, or members of the LGBTQ community. Those are the folks I feel will be most negatively affected by a Trump presidency, and I’d like to do what I can to support them.

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Thanks to those of you who submitted stores to me via Facebook or Twitter. If you’d like to submit more stores for consideration, you can do that below, or email direct to info@shopblue.us.

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There’s only a handful of products listed now because I wanted to get it up in time for Black Friday, but there will be lots more in the coming days and weeks. So send me more shops you love!

If you’d like to, please share the site with friends, or on your social media channels. Every purchase helps support someone who thinks the United States should be a safer, more just country. We’re together in this.

Pre-Filled Advent Calendars for 2016

Advent calendar roundup! Nine days until we get festive AF.

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Advent Calendar Kit Mini Cards, $12
I’m so glad someone finally did this. Advent calendar cards inscribed with 24 holiday activities, for those of you who prefer the ice rink to the mall.

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Advent Grab Bag, $35
Nostalgic toys that are as much fun for grownups as kiddos, with 20 percent of profits going to IntraHealth. (As you likely already know, we make these. Which is why they’re so awesome.)

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Scandinavian Specialty Coffee Advent Calendar, $150
Twenty-four advent packages of single origin specialty coffee, roasted to order. Holiday stamina in a box.

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Susanne Kaufmann Advent Calendar, $178
A beautiful Advent calendar filled with various bath and body products to try.

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The Whiskey Advent Calendar, $156
They Whiskey Advent folks expanded their line to include gin and vodka offerings as well, so stock up on mixers.

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24 days of tea, $40
A new cup of tea every day while you wrap presents.

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The Beauty Advent Calendar, $76
Includes skincare, makeup and hair care. A scattershot option for pleasing teens who like to point out that you bought the wrong brand.

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Wine Advent Calendar, $129
A glass of wine every night. You win Christmas.

Advent Grab Bags at The Secret Cake Society

Look! A lovely thing that heralds carefree times!

We just finished packaging our Advent Grab Bags, $35, which means they’re finally ready to order. This is the fourth year we’ve made these kits, which are tiny Santa bags with a blindfold included. Every night, you or your kiddo can reach in for something that will make you happy about childhood.

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I originally made the kits because I couldn’t find a pre-stocked advent set anywhere, and I was buying too many things in bulk just to get the one cool thing I wanted. Hank looks forward to them every year, and each toy was selected for maximum fun. So in my opinion, there’s no dumb stuff.

Just like last year, 20 percent of proceeds go to IntraHealth International. We hope to donate enough for a one-year training scholarship for two nurses. Those nurses go to a community that doesn’t have enough access to health workers, so you’re doing a good thing with your purchase.

Also!

Last year, several of you requested stocking stuffers. This is an excellent suggestion, so we put together a set of those too.

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Picking the toys was very, very fun, and we ended up with a set of Stocking Stuffers for Little Kids, $56, and Stocking Stuffers for Big Kids, $56.

And finally, I saw too many Jewish friends buying kits for love. You sweeties. I know you guys were repackaging those, and I had guilt. So!

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We made Hooray for Hanukkah! Gift Bags, $46. Aren’t they so cute? Worth it for the gelt-tasting party alone.

We also made a real, live shop to house everything called The Secret Cake Society. It’s named after the kids’ club at our wedding, which I’ll tell you about next week, because it was awesome.

In the meantime, go check out what’s inside the bags, and get your holidays all tidied up before the crazy sets in.