Archive for July, 2006

THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING

I have a bowl of ice cream, but find myself still hungry. I go into the kitchen to see what else I feel like. I’m searching through the fridge, looking for something tasty. Hmmm. Ooooo! Pickles!
I am halfway through the jar of pickles before I realize what I’m doing. Ice cream and pickles? Seriously? Do […]

AND THE JELL-O WRESTLING

All the ladies are in town for Blogher, and I’ve decided to keep them on air mattresses in my living room forever. Though all the pillow fighting in our underwear is getting exhausting.

OBSERVANT

We’ve lived in this apartment for four years. The walls are thin and we can often hear our upstairs neighbor. I’ve often noticed a sound that I took to be the vibration of her cell phone.
Today I realized that I was mistaken. From our apartment, you can hear foghorns of the ships looking for port.

DIRECTIONS

Stinson Beach Books is the “only bookstore located directly on the San Andreas Fault halfway between Dog Town and Jimmy’s Gulch.”

WOOT

No One Cares What You Had for Lunch went to press today! I spent the day with my editor scrubbing the proofs. It should be ready around August 10, so expect your copies shortly after that. Thank you for all the kind words and the support. I can’t wait to read your shiny new posts.

TARGET MARKET

Lately, I’ve been loving the spam with crazy subject headers that seem to be generated at random. A few of my favorites:
-Grainy aggressively
-Old-man fern
-Vulnerability hot chocolate

LETDOWN

Enjoyable simile from a recent New Yorker:
“For lesser artists, this harmonically confident album would be a coup. But in the case of the Dixie Chicks it’s disappointing, like watching Muhammad Ali hurt a man’s feelings.”

MARGARET MASON, AUTHORESS

Hey everybody, I just wrote a book! It’s called:
No One Cares What You Had For Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog
Are you astounded, my friends? I am totally a book writer. When people ask what I do, I can be all, “Oh, me? I’m a writer,” and then take a sip of my sophisticated cocktail. […]

THIS JUST IN

CNN reports that “Magic Mushrooms Produce Mystical Experiences.” In other news, “Tom Cruise, Kinda Nutty Lately,” and “BrakeBreak Room Always Out of Diet Coke.”

MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS HANDS

Me: My hands are better when I have warm tea to hold. Maybe we should carry pocket hand warmers with us when we travel to cold places. Like Florida.
Bryan: I married an orchid.