Archive for December, 2001

12.28.01 EXCERPT
Subway post from Andrew at the Morning News: “This morning when I got on the subway a mother and daughter — the daughter around six years of age — boarded with me. At every stop the girl raised her fists above her head and shouted, “Yaaaaayyyyy!” Each time her mother would say, “Not […]

12.26.01 WHEREFORE ART THOU?
Me: (Finishing up a story…) I thought it was pretty romantic.
Him: That is romantic.
(Pause)
Me: Have you ever noticed how a lot of guys are intent on telling women romantic things they’ve done for past girlfriends. It’s like, “Ooh, check me out. I’m such a sneak-attack Romeo.”
Him: Hm… […]

12.20.01 SIGH
I found a crumpled index card on the street. It reads, “Funny how the freedom of youth turns to loneliness in old age.”
4:29 p.m.

12.19.01 FUNNY BUSINESS
So while I was at Internet World, Christine Hefner, CEO of Playboy and daughter of Hugh, gave a keynote. She was articulate and interesting, but an easy target nonetheless. While I snickered whenever she said “protecting our assets,” Bryan provided the running commentary:
Her: The site attracted a whole new audience. As a […]

12.18.01 FRIEND’S A FRIEND
Overheard
Scenario: Three coworkers commute through the financial district.
Guy 1: Bunch of us went over to Tonic last night.
Guy 2: Yeah, who?
Guy 1: Me, and Jason, and Mark and them.
Guy 2: No Chet?
Guy 1: Chet never goes out with us after work.
Guy 2: He’s got some weird […]

12.17.01 THREE MORE THINGS
Three favorite New York Signs:

Fight back NY, see a show!
Above a winter coat: Caring is giving! $129.99
Teen People’s “Jingle Ball” Style Slam 2001
5:24 p.m.

FLY AMERICAN
Three disturbing things about U.S. airports:

Guys in camouflage toting semi automatics who smile and nod at you while you’re being […]

12.13.01 SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR
How can I describe the
spectaculitude of the Rockettes’ Christmas
Spectacular? There were ice skaters, there were
illuminated headpieces, there were 3-D glasses attached
to the program. Santa Claus was doing
pelvic thrusts, more than 70 leggy precision dancers grinned and shimmered in ethereal
high-kick splendor, and just when you thought it
couldn’t get any better, dancing dwarves took […]

12.12.01 OH, WHAT A FEELING
(Guy in car playing string instrument.)
Me: What’s he playing?
Guy 1: Looks like a mandolin or something.
Guy 2: ONE NIGHT ONLY! In my car!
(An hour later, walking back after breakfast.)
Me: What the…? He’s still there.
Guy 1: Hey, some guys have a favorite stairwell, some […]

12.10.01 OVERHEARD
Scenario: Ten college guys waiting at the 2nd Street Station.
Guy 1: (Extending a hunk of beef jerky to his friend.) Bite my big sausage.
Guy 2: No.
Guy 3: Bite it!
Guy 2: No, I’m not gonna.
Guy 4: C’mon, bite it!
Guy 5: Bite it! Bite it.
All: (General bite-it-related jeering).
Guy 2: […]

12.7.01 PACKED ALL MY BLACK CLOTHES
I’m leaving for Internet World in New York tonight. This will be my first time in NY, suggestions welcome. If you’re at the show, please say hi.
1:28 p.m.

LIKE MINDS

More fun with Craigslist. Two recent favorites from the San Francisco general community section:
90 — MOHAWK advice needed (san […]