ROAD TRIP

Me: Do you ever wonder what the world would look like if humans hadn’t dammed up all the water?

Bryan: A little bit. You mean you want to see the towns that are underwater now?

Me: And to see what the canyons looked like, and how the water paths have changed. Water is a transformative force.

Bryan: So is the power of dance, Maggie.

Me: TouchÃ©.

Mighty Halloween

Spookify yourself and your place at the Mighties:

Mighty Goods: A Handmade Halloween

Mighty Junior: 2008 Halloween Costume Guide

Mighty Haus: Halloween Decorating Guide

GOOD MAGAZINE

If you were next to me when I was reading this week’s The Week, these are the parts I would have read to you out loud:

-Car deaths rise 18 percent on election days in The States. So maybe mail-in ballots this year.

-Ottawa is looking to pass a law that would protect people who apologize from being sued. More apologies for everyone!

-Poland may become the first country to chemically castrate pedophiles.

-A Zimbabwean soccer team took a ritual-cleansing dip in a crocodile-infested river, and one of them didn’t come back out.

-Hooman Majd, who has often translated for Iranian President Mahmud Amadenijad, says Amadenijad never said there are no gay people in Iran. Instead, he said Iran has no openly gay culture.

-Doctors are trying to help Erik Ramsey speak again. Ramsey’s body is completely paralyzed, and doctors have implanted wires in his brain that can read brain signals, which computers can then translate into speech. Rad.

Congrats, Jaime and Henning! Congrats, Meg and Rahul!

We had a wedding-marathon weekend with two rehearsal dinners on Friday night, and two ceremonies on Saturday. For the morning ceremony, Bryan officiated Bond-style (in German, Mandarin and English — only one of which he speaks), and I made the flowers.

Of course, when we went to pick up the flowers we’d ordered, the florist didn’t have them. Had not ordered them.

So, instead of keening and rending our garments, the bride and I acted calm while we shopped for new-and-improved flowers. Here’s how they turned out:

Bridal bouquet

Bridesmaid bouquet

Boutonnieres

Hair piece

Living Small

Photo by Heidi Schumann

Our one-bedroom apartment made an appearance in the New York Times today. We’re part of an article on families who are living in smaller spaces in big cities. Go have a look at “Move Up? Move Out? Families Squeeze In”.

THE GUN AND DOLL SHOW

I attended a gun-range bachelorette last night.

This is me shooting a gun. The leather jacket does enhance my badassery, but I was wearing it because the range was about as temperate as a walk-in freezer. (Is this a thing? Are all gun ranges arctic-expedition cold? And if so, why?)

Jaime’s getting married Saturday, and this was our most compelling celebratory idea. It turns out she’s a hell of a shot, which surprised no one. Jaime is the first person to whom I would hand the weapon if I found myself stranded on an island. An island with a weapon. And Jaime’s there too for some reason.

Point of interest: In the above snapshot there are three of us, at a gun range, posing for a photo. You may be asking yourself, Why doesn’t that photo look more like this?

Good point, my friend. Unfortunately, despite multiple requests, I was unable to muster any finger-gun irony in the face of actual guns.

I pretty much nailed the vaguely apprehensive pose though:

The apprehension is because of an early run-in with a hot bullet casing. The first time I fired my gun, the casing flew behind my safety goggles, behind my glasses, and landed on my eyelid.

Ow.

I refrained from flinching and flailing, because I had a loaded gun in my hands, but I did set the gun down and curse profusely, which startled my heavily tattooed instructor.

Because a few of us have Vice Presidential aspirations, the gentlemen at Jackson Arms allowed us to pose with some of the enormous, phallic weaponry available for sale.