Pretty Things on Mighty Junior

Mighty Junior has been busy with the start of the school year. My impeccable friend Margaret Gould Stewart, who is raising a startlingly fashionable brood, sent us some great ideas for dressing little guys:

Guest Editor: Margaret Gould Stewart!

Also, it turns out that kids have cuter outwear options than I do. I cannot tell you how much I want this exact jacket in my size.

Outerwear Roundup: Perfect Coats for Kids

Melissa put together a great selection of budget gifts to keep on hand for birthday parties that sneak up on you. I covet this pen set for my grown-up desk.

Gift Closet Guide: 14 Birthday Gifts Under $20

This kid’s backpack from Chris Jordan’s stint as guest editor is on my list as well. Cute! Super Cute!

Guest Editor: Christ Jordan from Notes from the Trenches

Advice from Mom, Part I

Wear the tight dress. You won’t have that body forever.

If there’s a nuclear war, head north. There will be less fallout up there.

Don’t tell contractors what to do, it pisses them off. Ask them. And bring beer.

If you’re lost in the woods, follow a stream downstream and you’ll find houses.

The more they process the food, the more you have to pay. Buy the whole chicken.

If a bear attacks, curl into a ball to protect your internal organs.

If someone needs money enough to beg for it, give them a dollar.

If you boil willow bark and drink the tea, it’s like taking asprin.

You should iron that.

If something big stabs you, leave it in until you can get to the hospital.

Put a little lipstick on, Margaret.

You need to learn to shoot a handgun.

What Are the Odds?

Holy crap. You must nominate someone for this. Only 131 people have entered so far, which means the odds of winning $5,000 of Intel equipment are currently 1 in 43. Let me put that another way. Say you’re standing in a room with only 43 people? One of you gets $5,000. Can my math possibly be correct on this? Let me know, I was an English major.

As I mentioned before, I’m amongst the judges, so I invite you to play on my heart strings. Stuff to remember:

-Deadline is October 6.
-Nominating yourself is just fine.
-Photos and video are good.
-Community votes are a factor.

I think that’s it. Now go win this, please.

Election Schwag

So I’ve been working on this Presidential Election ’08 Schwag feature over at Mighty Goods, and I’m gleeful about all the weird stuff you can get. McCain Condoms, Obama nesting dolls, candidates carved in soap, and so on.

The Palin schwag, especially, is off the charts. There are a few that didn’t make the cut, but were still interesting enough to note.

I found a few voodoo doll options, but only for Palin. I’m actually surprised candidate voodoo dolls aren’t more widely available.

This button wins for best slogan.

Also, there’s this Cafepress shirt. Which I think is supposed to be supportive?

And you must explore all the awesomely confusing Etsy art Palin has inspired. Including this piece, entitled “Sarah Palin Triclops.”

If you’ve seen anything exceptional that I missed, pony up in the comments.

Meg and Rahul Sitting in a Tree

Our friends Rahul and Meg are getting married in a couple of weeks, we’ll be attending two weddings that day (which also happens to be our own five-year wedding anniversary).

Jerry Yoon photography took some great engagement photos. I love getting to see engagement photos, because they always make me look forward to the wedding.

See what I mean? Congrats, Meg and Rahul! Go here if you’d like to see the rest.

In Stride

You, sir, are sporting oversized aviator sunglasses, and your shirt is unbuttoned to the middle of your chest. Your head is shaved. You are strutting backward up the street, your arm at a right angle to your body, as you point up the block, greeting someone you know.

That guy? The stranger in the distance? He is the man. “The man,” you would say, if he could hear you, but he is too far. Instead you point silently, profoundly. You point with emphasis.

…You are still doing this — still walking backward, pointing meaningfully at this person, who is no longer visible. The friend walking with you offers his feet an awkward smile, shakes his head.

Maybe the friend walking beside you has a girlfriend. And if he does, she wishes he would hang with you less.

No promises about the Elmer’s Glue

This morning I used the last of some deodorant, and I felt victorious, like I had bested corporate forces that were waiting for me to buy another pack before it was time. I should have left this fateful stick in my gym locker, or dumped it from my bag in a hotel room, or found it dried and crunchy in a drawer crammed with confusing hair products.

For my next feat, I shall use the last of a bottle of honey before it becomes a bear-shaped crystaline brick, or perhaps consume an entire bag of ground-up coffee beans before they start tasting like dirt.

Then we’ll have a party. You bring the coffee.