Let’s Talk Orgasms

If you don’t want to talk about sexy things, here is a link to that panda rolling in the snow.

For the rest of you, there has been a recent advancement in sex technology. It’s offensively named, air-through-your-teeth ugly, and expensive like you don’t need to eat. Still, I want to give one to everyone I know, like the world’s creepiest fairy godmother.

Meet The Womanizer.

So beautiful, no? As I mentioned, the designs come in different variations of eye smack, but we all need to get past that. Because, damn.

“The Womanizer” is like a vibrator, but it doesn’t necessarily touch your clitoris. Instead it provides light suction and varying speeds of vibration that combine to make things happen… quickly.

Here’s a more thorough, educated Womanizer review. I just thought you should know this existed. Solidarity.

Sexy Times Gift Guide

He thinks Valentine’s Day is stupid. He thinks it’s a Hallmark holiday perpetuated by gift-shop owners and florists. He thinks if you’re really in love, you’ll naturally celebrate that year round anyway. He… should probably shut up now.

Alayna Zip Chemise, $60

Cotton Solid Thigh-High Socks, $18

Classic Silk Tap Short, $54

Envoutante Bodysuit, $86

Lace Eye Mask, $40

Cle D’Amour Thong, $30

Out From Under Fine Straps Midi Slip Dress, $44

Lace Cuffs, $10

Five Love Languages

Photo from Diem Design.

Have you ever taken the Five Love Languages Quiz? I’ve sent that link to dozens of friends.

The quiz is based on a book of the same name, which says there are five main ways we give and receive love:

1. Words of affirmation, compliments and the like.
2. Tokens of affection, gifts.
3. Acts of service, favors.
4. Quality time together.
5. Physical touch.

The idea is that everyone gives and receives love differently. For example, words of affirmation don’t mean much to me, but it’s easy for me to tell someone what I appreciate about them. Some people don’t care at all about gifts, but get teary-eyed when you clean out the closet for them.

Take the quiz, and tell me what you think. It for sure changed my approach when I have an impulse to do something nice for someone.

P.S. Relationship Hacks

Fridaaay! Links

Have you seen this already? You should watch it again.

Taste test of heart-shaped boxes of Valentine’s chocolate that tends to be available last minute. Ahem.

“Show up with and for your friends. You matter, and your presence matters.” (Jessica, 40)
Truth. From Ten Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s, crowdsourced advice.

These slippers have me covetous.

We should build one of these for the wedding ceremony so afterward we can light it on fire and the guests can take turns jumping through it.

How to use Twitter on your journey to understanding, by @polotek. This is a thing I do, and it works.

I think about this writing advice a lot.

What We Should Care About in 2016 Leaves you a bit more prepared for conversations with smart people about important things.

Life List idea: Hike into this place at night.

Valentine’s Gifts for the Ladies

Order now, panic wrap the night before.

A Handmade Valentine
Gather your scissors, glue, and heart-shaped whatsits! The key here is not to produce something artistic, just something that looks like it took you more than ten minutes. Go classic with Doilies, blank cards, heart-shaped cards. Or buy one of these Rocket-Ship Valentine Kits. Your love is out of this world, Valentine!

14K Gold Bar Earrings, $62
The best kind of jewelry is the kind you never need to take off. So you’ll be seeing a lot of these as the evening wears on.

Fujifilm Instax Share Smartphone Printer, $147

This lets you print polaroids from digital photos stored on your phone or computer. She already wants one.

Ultra Flannel Throw Blanket, $20

You know that G-string you bought her? That isn’t technically for her. Plus, now she’s cold. Ultra soft cuddling blankets make it possible to wear less clothing. Everyone’s a winner.

Love Coupons, $12

If she doesn’t care about presents, but loves it when you do things for her, draw up some coupons for gassing up her car, having her shoes shined, grabbing sanitary products at the drugstore without complaint. Romantic stuff.

A Heart Shaped Box of Chocolate, $45

Sweet both literally and figuratively. Pair these with the cozy blanket and your weekend plans are in place. Happy Valentine’s Day, you crazy kids.

P.S. Classic Gifts for Women, my Mighty Girl Valentine Guide from 2015 (ignore the beard oil), and Mighty Girl Valentine Guide from 2014.

Scrap Wood Robots

Robots made from wood scrap by Daniel Moyer Design. (via Creative Mornings)

Fridaaay! Links

I want this Leash Pin, and also one of these lady incense holders. Both by Kaye Blegvad.

Fa-bo is a new office and lab that is earthquake resistant thanks to hundreds of carbon fibres that come out from the building like a web. (via Spoon and Tamago)

On how hard it can be to start as an amateur. I am doing this right now, so I am going to stop. Or start? I am going to do both.

Cozy mermaids.

Emma Watson started a feminist book club, and the first pick is Gloria Steinem’s My Life on the Road.

My neck was starting to do a crackle-glaze thing, so I bought Burt’s Bees Intense Hydration Treatment Mask. It makes my skin soft and pink and glow-y for a couple of days. I generally believe beauty potions to be tomfoolery, so I thought I’d let you know.

Justina Blakeney’s quick outline of how to create a repeating pattern. Now I’ll know how to make my own fabric on Project Runway.

The New York Public Library just put its public domain collection online (via kottke) and is offering a Remix Residency for people who want to do a project with the collection. Apply by February 19.

Raaar!

Also, friends are doing cool stuff!

Meg Keene just published A Practical Wedding Planner, and if you’re getting married, I recommend it. We’re finding it so helpful.

Maile Wilson just launched a new line of natural leather Epiphanie camera bags, and they’re lovely. If you need a new laptop/camera bag, have a look.

Bug-Bitten Tea

I was shopping for my favorite oolong tea recently and noticed the phrase “bug-bitten,” which I’d never seen before.

“Before the harvest, this tea was bitten by green leaf hoppers, setting off a chain reaction that ultimately created a unique honey-like flavor within the leaves. This bug-bitten Tung Ting Formosa oolong has the aroma of orange blossom honey, with a rich, thick body redolent of tropical mango and passion fruit, and the finish of buttered rum.”

Besides, honey and obvious pollination requirements, is this a thing? Are there any other foods that are known to taste better because of bug interaction?

Photo from Tea Mountains.

Fridaaay! Links

This song used to enrage High-School Virgin Maggie. She has long waited for this day.

This candle cracks me up. And causes me to withdraw slightly.

Nerds! Finally the perfect postage stamps for your wedding invitations.

Worth re-reading in the wake of the Tamir Rice verdict, Luvvie’s The Stages of What Happens When There’s Injustice Against Black People.

So many people are recommending the Thing Explainer Book online that I bought one for Hank’s birthday.

Did this woman survive?

I want the Stella McCartney Cassie Silk-Tiered Gown. Play the video and see how it moves.

Dropping my phone between seats in the car is doing a number on my delicate hand bones. This seat gap filler is genius. via Cool Tools

Hidden Rainbow Hair is magic!