I met Miss Anna Beth Chao at a Mighty Meet-up in New York a few years ago. She came over and said, “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.” I blinked. “I am friends with Evany Thomas.” (Evany is one of my core people-filters. If you tell me you’re her friend, it means you will soon be my friend — do not pass go, do not collect $200.) So I hugged Anna Beth’s face, and we started vacationing together.
Much as Evany is my people filter, Anna Beth has become a mental wardrobe filter. When I want to look like I just threw something on, even though I spent nine hours getting ready, I do a mental check on whether Chao would approve. Her approval is hard-won, my friends. Anna Beth called me almost every night when I was in the depths of my divorce misery, and soothed me with her utter lack of bullshit. If I’m doing something stupid, or wearing something stupid, I can hear her voice in my head saying, “Uh-uh. Neeeeeeew-ah.” (Apparently, “neeeew-ah” is Louisana for “no.”)
In addition to being my fashion superhero, Anna Beth is an online force. She was one of the early writers at Television Without Pity, and started blogging way back in 2000. She recently quit her jobby job to pursue her passion as an interior decorator, which makes me feel all teary and proud. She’s hosting a series of nationwide design camps, which are mostly sold out (unless you’re willing to travel to Austin, in which case you’ll want to fast-forward to the end of this post).
For now, here’s Anna Beth’s take on how you should be dressing. Listen up.
As a decorator/writer/photographer/design camp director, I work at home, so my work attire is pretty casual. I do try to put on actual clothes every day, even though flip-flops don’t really count as shoes (but seriously, you’ll have to pry my beloved Rainbow sandals from my cold, dead body). This outfit is called “Blogger Cliche,” and I’m sure you’ll recognize the pieces: striped top, jean shorts, minimal makeup, side ponytail (one can’t wear a topknot EVERY day!).
I need to invest in a pair of nerd glasses to complete the picture, don’t you think? I’ll take recommendations in the comments. (I bought my last pair of glasses, which I use exclusively for driving at night, at the Arlington, Texas Super Target in 2001. It is TIME.)
Sometimes a girl just needs to take a break from work to sit jauntily on a client’s pouf and read a book. (The book pictured is One Man’s Garden, by Henry Mitchell, which I do, in fact, read every year. If you want to feel like you could be the kind of person who grows roses, watches dragonflies, and owns several water features, I highly recommend it.)
Much like Nancy Botwin, I drink iced coffee all the live-long day. (I haven’t quite mastered the Mary Louise Parker sexy-casual straw-sip, but you know I practice it often.)
(Here’s my recipe for iced coffee.)
I live in Louisiana. In Louisiana, we love our personalized items, so I had some custom styrofoam cups made for our house. They make my iced coffees feel important.
[Ed note-to-self: Cultivate more friends who consider go-cups a crucial accessory.]
Summer is for wearing too many friendship bracelets, an emergency ponytail holder, and your husband’s Timex.
This locket is one of my most treasured possessions, which is why it’s attached with two soldered jump rings. It belonged to someone I love very much, and I inherited it when she died. I wear it a lot.
Photo by Madeleine Chao, high school senior, to whom I gave birth.
I’m known for my headless pictures, but the real credit for these belongs to Lori Andrews, who takes legitimately beautiful photographs and is my inspiration on sixteen different levels. For me, it’s just an easy way to show y’all outfits without having to wash my face.
Tiny braids are good for summer, and help to showcase one’s ombre hair color.
Photo by Madeleine Chao, Class of 2013, who will soon go to college and then I will cry.
OUFIT INFO:
Top: T by Alexander Wang
Jean shorts: Madewell
Flops: Rainbow Sandals
Bracelets: Madewell, Forever 21, Timex, homemade
Necklace: Inherited, vintage
Styrofoam cups: The Paper Market, Monroe, LA
Here is an outfit I would wear if I were leaving the house to have a lunch meeting or buy groceries. I never thought I would be a shorts person, but then I became a runner and runners wear a lot of shorts. I don’t know; it’s a thing.
I’ll just hang here for one more minute waiting for you to notice my monogrammed dish towel. I told you we liked personalization down here.
Pictured with me is Hank, our sweet/dumb/adorable two-year-old dog who is part Rottweiler, which makes him think he is scary. He is not scary, especially when he is sporting his orange Crewcuts bandanna. Give it up, Hank: You are wearing a neck accessory for children.
BAM, I HAVE HOSED YOU.
There are many reasons I wanted to buy the house we live in, but one of them was the corrugated steel garage doors, designed by an architect friend of the previous owners. They are a pain in the ass to open, but they sure do look good.
Close-up: Bracelet
Close-up: Necklace
This photo is just a bonus for those of you who have read this far.
OUTFIT INFO:
Top: J. Crew
Shorts: Urban Outfitters
Shoes: Forever 21
Bracelet: Tonya Aguiniga
Necklace: Nervous System
This is an outfit I would wear to the beach. It is actually an outfit I did wear to the beach, as you can see. Maggie introduced me to the romper on our beach trip last year, and I cannot think of a piece of clothing better suited to the beach than a romper. It feels like pajamas; it’s strapless so you don’t get tan lines; and it is basically the sassiest thing you can wear. I like sassy things.
I also like all kinds of headwear, because it fulfills both of my ultimate fashion needs: a) feeling French, and b) feeling like Jackie Kennedy. This is a scarf I found at Target before our beach trip. It’s too little to double and tie in the back (tutorial here), so I have done a cute French/Jackie bow in the front.
Looking down at your feet in an outfit photo is also a blogger cliche, but let me tell you this, y’all: it makes your thighs look real skinny.
I solemnly swear that I was not drunk when this photograph happened.
(Sometimes I lie.)
OUTFIT INFO:
Romper: Forever 21
Flops: Rainbow Sandals
Scarf: Target
I told you I had become a shorts person. Emphasis on “short.”
"Oh, hey. I’m just standing here alone in my dining room with my Danish chairs and some bourbon. Want to come over?"
Close-up: Necklace
Close-up: Shoes
OUTFIT INFO:
Top: Forever 21
Shorts: Shopbop
Shoes: Tsubo
Necklace: Kate Spade
Do you like how I pretended I was attending a gathering by myself, in my own dining room? I do. This is what I would wear to night out/bar scenario. Comfortable, yet stylish, yet good for 80-degree nights.
I think Maggie tells Mighty Closeters to include a cocktail outfit because she is conducting a survey on how many of us will pick the little black dress. Well, the joke’s on you, Margaret, because I am wearing a little black…SHIRT!
FINE. YOU WIN.
I told you before that I love headwear, and this turban is no exception. I found it at an estate sale here in Monroe, mixed in with enormous stacks of pristine fifties items (most with the tags still on!). I sent Maggie a box of random things I picked up and she put me in her will. It was pretty cool.
“Hey, girl. Do you want to see what’s under my turban?”
(Hair. The answer is HAIR.)
Headless cocktail outfit photo. I just take a lot of risks for y’all, setting up my tripod in the middle of the street like this. In this photo, you can also see that, while my stature is quite small, my shoulders are that of an NBA basketball star. Seriously: we’ve measured. HULK SMASH.
OUTFIT INFO:
Top: Emerson Fry
Skirt: J. Crew Shoes: Kate Spade
Watch: Cartier, vintage
Necklace: Pearls, vintage
Turban: Estate sale, vintage
As much as I’d like to be French and/or Jackie, I am also from the South, and a big leather belt and work boots must be included in my real-life uniform. I don’t know how it happened (possibly laziness?), but my signature item is a white t-shirt, so here are a couple of outfits featuring said white tee.
With jeans.
OUTFIT INFO:
Top: Emerson Fry
Jeans: Madewell
Boots: J Shoes
Belt: Abercrombie & Fitch
Necklace: Kate Spade
Watch: Cartier, vintage
With a skirt.
OUTFIT INFO:
Top: Mark and Estel
Skirt: Anthropologie
Sandals: Chie Mihara
Necklace: Vintage
Bracelet: Kate Spade
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
With colorful pants.
OUFIT INFO:
Top: Emerson Fry
Pants: J. Crew
Sandals: J. Crew
Belt: Abercrombie & Fitch
Necklace: J. Crew
Scarf: Target
With pajamas.
OUTFIT INFO:
Top: James Perse
Shorts: Target
Slip flops: Walmart
I hope you have enjoyed this look into my closet as much as I have enjoyed making it. If you need advice on scarves, rompers, personalized go-cups, kicking, jumping, throwing a solo party, large shoulders, white tees, or slipper flops, let me know. Bye.
Yes please, Chao. When you come to town, I’m just going to hand you my credit card and weep in silent relief while you dress me. Also, you can redecorate my apartment while you’re here.
If you’re also interested in Anna Beth’s house as much as her clothes, sit in on one of her design bootcamps. Again, most of them are sold out, but if you’re willing to get your bum to Austin, Mighty Girl readers get a 30% discount there (Whut.):
Dewit Design Camp, Austin
Code: MIGHTY30
Pretty nice, don’t you think? Me too.
Mighty Girl 