Famous among dozens
Did you know it was possible to get blisters from a support garment? Like, long, water-filled girdle blisters across your back? The kind where you wake up, and something on your back itches, so you go to scratch it, and your hand comes away wet? Did you know this?
Yeah. Me neither.
Today is a very good day. Today, my friends, we are a launching a new Mighty!
Cut to me assuming various pseudo martial arts postures, and then flexing my spellbinding muscles.
Welcome to Mighty Haus:
Many, many dozens of you took our polls, and it turns out the thing you wanted most was a house site. And so, Mighty Haus is our shopping site for nesters. We’re focused on designs that solve problems for you, and mundane objects made beautiful.
Also, the new site has a couple of new features available on Mighty Goods and Mighty Junior as well. First, you can now sort objects by price! You’ll find the much-requested View by Price link under the “Looking for a Gift?” header in the left column. Second, we’ve added Kirtsy this buttons to our posts and articles, for ease of Kirtsy-ing.
Anyway, how are you still reading? Go look! Go look! We’ll wait here.
Scenario: A young man in his mid-twenties talking on his cell as he walks home from work.
“I know what you’re saying. I hear you. Willpower, homes. It’s gonna be hard to go out, have a good time, have some drinks, and not hit that. But that’s where willpower comes in.
For the sake of efficiency I’ve removed all the fortunes, tiny scraps of artwork, receipts for indecent things, currency from other countries, cowboy business cards, pretty leaves, and notes to myself to help me remember all the important things I no longer remember. And now, my wallet is tiny.
I feel less interesting.
Cigar-smokin’ sidewalk guy wants to talk to you.
Say, do you mind if he smokes here?
You! Does he know you?
Hello! Como estas? Bien? Bien?
Lady passersby, succumb to his desires.
Scene: Coffee shop, two girls discuss the web.
“I’m getting off Facebook. Everyone is equalized in a way I’m very uncomfortable with.”
A few friends and I have been reading a book on wellness that suggests eight ways to improve your life. It says you should choose a few and run with them, so I decided on:
Meditation:
Me thinking about light flowing into my head, and then thinking how nice it would be to nap.
Visualization:
Me thinking about how well things are going, then wondering when disaster will strike.
Conscious eating:
Me conquering food allergies by doing a restricted diet for 21 days, then remembering that I have hives because I really like to eat the stuff I’m not supposed to have.
Doing Fun Activities:
Me doing things that make me happy.
For the record, doing fun things is better than denying yourself caffeine. Should you choose to follow this path, I’d recommend starting with the fun stuff and worrying about your gluten intake later.
I’ve decided to do one fun thing a day, and it turns out that fun stuff is awesome. Yesterday I went down to City Hall to celebrate gay and lesbian couples getting married. There was a huge crowd, and lots of happy tears, and much merriment. Added bonus: no one yelled ugly things at the newlyweds.
So you see, we’re all evolving as a team.
Alice and I talk business:
Alice: I think it’s adorable that you want some money for yourself. Maybe you want to buy yourself a special little treat without the Hubs knowing, and why shouldn’t you? Bravo, Mrs. Mason.
Me: Sometimes, when I’m feeling low, I just like to get myself a nice lipstick. Nothing pricey, just a little pick me up.
Alice: What? Whore.
Working in the coffee shop under a potted palm, I pause to brush the hair from my eyes. A dead bug falls onto my keyboard.
I gasp loudly, and yank my laptop up, inches away from my face, to examine the specimen more closely. Praises to all that is holy, it has wings, unlike the lice we too recently battled in our home.
But, may I just say, what the ever-loving hell, people? Did someone put Purina Bug Chow in my shampoo? I could go a very, very long time without finding another surprise insect on my premises.
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Maggie Mason is a hot mama, originally uploaded by superhero.
So. Remember sixteen months ago when I was super, duper pregnant? Barely, right? It seems like a looong time ago. Especially when Hank strolls into the room and says something like, “Mummy, I have a few questions about the mortgage crisis.”
Well ladies, this is how long it took me to take off all the baby weight. Sixteen months. I did not wear my jeans out of the hospital, I did not lose the “fat face” the minute I gave birth, I was not able to eat whatever I wanted just because I was breast feeding, and I could not climb back on a tread mill right after Hank was born. I needed quite a while to heal.
Are you listening? Sixteen months. For me, that’s how long it took. Sixteen months and quite a bit of help from Weight Watchers online. It’s not true for everybody, but it is true for lots of folks. So put down the issue of People magazine, and turn away from all the moms on E! who got their bodies back a month later. If you’re feeling bummed about your gut, get yourself some flattering dresses, and give yourself a little time.
Good job making that baby, girl.
Mighty Girl 