Growing Pains

18th June 2008

A few friends and I have been reading a book on wellness that suggests eight ways to improve your life. It says you should choose a few and run with them, so I decided on:

Me thinking about light flowing into my head, and then thinking how nice it would be to nap.

Me thinking about how well things are going, then wondering when disaster will strike.

Conscious eating:
Me conquering food allergies by doing a restricted diet for 21 days, then remembering that I have hives because I really like to eat the stuff I’m not supposed to have.

Doing Fun Activities:
Me doing things that make me happy.

For the record, doing fun things is better than denying yourself caffeine. Should you choose to follow this path, I’d recommend starting with the fun stuff and worrying about your gluten intake later.

I’ve decided to do one fun thing a day, and it turns out that fun stuff is awesome. Yesterday I went down to City Hall to celebrate gay and lesbian couples getting married. There was a huge crowd, and lots of happy tears, and much merriment. Added bonus: no one yelled ugly things at the newlyweds.

So you see, we’re all evolving as a team.

58 thoughts on “Growing Pains

  1. water

    I think you’re on the right track. Theoretically, hives can’t exist in a happy balanced body, so do fun… take naps… get happy… then gorge on cake and coffee.

  2. Sandy

    Hurrah! There are so many times when I shake my head and wonder at the awful things we do, but gay marriage makes me cheer!

  3. Ivy

    Lovely photos… just lovely. Everyone looks overjoyed and it makes me happy… Bravo!

    It sounds like you’re reading the same book I read about on Dooce. It sounds like a fabulous idea – good luck!

  4. Lindaloohoo

    wow, maggie, these are FABULOUS pictures!! i LOVE it! i’ve been snapped out of snarky comment-dom and am giggling. with multiple exclaimation points.
    what a great idea for a fun thing to do. i may have to steal it down here in los angeles. surely this is happening here too?
    AND i had the added bonus of seeing my hairstyle in there – i’m gonna take that as a sign of some residual hip-ness as opposed to unexplored lesbian-ness. (me and the snarky – never apart for long)
    thanks for sharing your coolness with us.

  5. Danielle

    Holy! Those images are really great!! Is it just my imagination, or does there seem to be a retro-fashion them happening there? So many stylish and dapper people!


  6. Danielle

    Oops, I meant “theme”, not “them”.

    (note to self: must proof-read prior to posting comments…)

  7. wendi

    Maggie, Thanks so much for the wonderful photos. You did an excellent job of capturing the joy shared by all those newly married. You made this Oklahoma girl feel a bit closer to a hip and forward-thinking community! Thanks!

  8. misstraceynolan

    I LOVE those pictures. We’ve had gay marriage here in Ontario for several years and it’s been nothing but wonderful for the community. Way to go CALI, I say!

  9. Michelle

    Great photos Maggie!

    As for the wellness, I’m no good at the restricting diet stuff either. I wonder if reading the book motivates you to follow through? Is it worth the read?

    I know my bod isn’t happy with all the coffee I drink, but can I stick to one cup a day?! Not so much.

  10. Astrogirl426

    I’m with you on the meditation and visualization – I do the same thing. So they tend not to be so effective for me. The conscious eating problem isn’t so much hives, but more just feeling crappy from eating, well, crap.

    And as for the fun piece, well, I’d have to add “…doing fun things that make me happy, and then feeling guilty for enjoying myself.”

    Yeh, I’m in therapy. A lot.

  11. Steph

    You know? I admire people who can give up gluten stuff and caffeine but still… I’m not sure I’d want to be around them for the first few days. Or at least, I know if I did that nobody would want to be around me.

    P.S. – I want that lime green number the woman in the first photo is wearing. It’s gorgeous!

  12. Amy

    beautiful pictures. i saw a tweet yesterday about a couple of women age 84 and 87 who were married yesterday. i can only imagine how happy they were.

  13. Mevrouw Haus (one of them)

    Spent most of my twenties and thirties in San Francisco (1980-90’s), and the first picture generated more than the normal nostalgia (‘a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, to one’s home or homeland, or to one’s family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time’), that your site provides. It was almost as good as the mental image of you, Sarah Brown and Mrs. Kennedy walking around the Castro late one night.
    Having just moved to a ‘fictionally good’ town in the Netherlands (at age 49, with wife of the same gender), I must tell you that–even though the new rights are not federal, and do not include being able to live in the U.S. with a foreign spouse–this glimpse of the city was a joy. Dank je wel Maggie!

  14. Kirsten

    If you don’t want to detox for 21 very long days, the morning news told me one day this week that all I have to do is drink at least 8 cups of tea a day. Since you’re already a tea fan, you could just try that approach? Maybe double it to get twice the benefit?

    I just love this whole slideshow. Nice one, Maggie!

  15. Nutmeg


    Those are beautiful photos; they brought tears to my eyes! You are so lucky that you get to witness something so just and wonderful in your state. I wish mine (and all of them) would get on board.

    When it comes to food, everything in moderation except chocolate and wine. Now that’s the fun stuff!

  16. andrea

    I became choked up listening to the story on NPR about the 87 and 83 year old women who were married on Tuesday (or Monday?). I hope there is a lot of support for these happy couples and that stupid mean spirited state constitutional amendment is laughed off the ballot in November.

    Good luck with your happy things!

  17. Julie

    These pictures made me cry tears of joy! I’m jealous you were able to witness so much love and happiness.

  18. kerry

    Is that Quantam Wellness? I saw that on Oprah and have been wondering if I could survive…A nice piece of chocolate and a coffee is my drug of choice right now…my survival technique for Motherhood. Yes, I use food for all the wrong reasons but it works sooo well.

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  20. alison

    I started crying in the coffee shop I get my WiFi access from. I love that people volunteered, donated thoughtful touches, and were there in the spirit of celebration. It is so beautiful that so many people could come together for such a momentous occasion. I hope someday that this isn’t so remarkable, not because it isn’t special every time, but because it will be a celebration that everyone can be afforded. Feliciations new marrieds!!!

  21. Kristy - Where's My Damn Answer

    Fun – what a great thing to do – I love it!

    I just posted about this book this morning too. We went to an event that Kathy Freston was at last night. She’s awesome and I’m really looking forward to reading her book.

  22. Lizzi

    Thanks for these terrific pictures. They really show the happiest of happy things. What a GREAT start to your fun-a-day challenge!

  23. Amanda

    In one week and one day my partner and I will be at SF City Hall getting married too! We’re coming all the way from Florida. :)
    Thanks for putting up the amazing pictures and showing your support.

  24. Mom Quixote

    Beautiful pictures! It seems that book is making the rounds…I haven’t picked up a copy yet, but am thinking about the conscious eating part more and more, too.

  25. Nate

    Those are the nicest photos that I’ve seen from San Francisco yet. Media coverage of it has been sorta meh.

    It would be fun to be there. The central valley isn’t having as much fan and merriment with this event for some reason.

  26. Kim

    I love that you went to celebrate and document. The pics are beautiful. As far as meditation, I keep trying but my mind will not turn OFF!

  27. Rose

    These are such wonderful pictures! Thank you for documenting these happy moments and graceful touches.

    In the words of the great Mr. Garth Brooks:
    “When we’re free to love anyone we choose,
    When this world’s big enough for all different views,
    When we all can worship from our own kind of pew,
    We shall be free.”

  28. Kecia

    I want to have lunch with the two guys “hamming it up with the family planning guide”. I am so grateful this is happening, I am starting to have some hope that our country isn’t totally going down the shitter. Thanks for sharing those exquisite photos.

  29. amyZ5

    haha. everything in moderation and moderation is the first to go! the one fun thing idea a day beats out any detox program on earth. face it. life can be so hard enough. why self-inflict deprivation in the name of trying to improve yourself. dont’ get me wrong, eating healthy is great. but eating fanatically could result in more problems than solutions. GREAT PiCS

  30. StephFromOmaha

    I am soooo jealous that you get to live in my favorite city every day. I wish I had never moved back to Nebraska. I would have loved to have been down at City Hall this past week. Watching so many lovely couples make history. Yay for San Francisco!

  31. latenac

    Lovely photos. It’s nice to see people so happy finally being able to make official their relationships.

    I was raised Catholic and have tried a long time to overcome the sinning, penance cycle in my life and detox falls under that. I find if you can do happy things and make your life happy otherwise, it’s a lot easier to control other aspects of your life. Plus I know I’ve read somewhere when I was reading up on the BBC show “You are what you eat” that detoxing is pretty useless in the long run. It’s a good show to watch though if you want to feel better about what you eat.

  32. Beth

    The wedding photography company I work for was there taking free pictures for anyone who wanted them and I was volunteering in the morning. It was completely amazing!! I loved every minute of it and wish I could have stayed the whole day. And now I keep going back and looking through the pictures over and over. They make me so happy!

    (ps: I want that green dress from the first picture)

  33. Melissa in CO

    Thank you for sharing these pictures! I have tears in my eyes looking at them!


  34. Ella

    That post is so positive. You can see how much it means in their faces. I feel so frustrated it has taken so long to get here…

  35. SAple

    Love those photos, It’s amazing to see such a celebration of love.. Those dapper men made tears come to my eyes..

  36. Jack

    Meditation equals nap to me. Call me old, but if I close my eyes and try to focus on good stuff it just leads to well deserved zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  37. sarah

    those are such lovely shots. what a wonderful thing to be able to celebrate. things like this really solidify my faith in humanity.

    does anyone know where the kick ass diaper bag is from?

  38. Christine

    what a great, fun, fabulous thing to do! If Florida ever gets its s**t together(we can hope!) I’m so going to City Hall with my camera!

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