Mighty Life List
Oct 31 2006

Guess Before My Song is Done

Bryan is helping organize a Bill Clinton event tomorrow, and he went for a walk-through with Secret Service this morning. When he returned to the car, Bryan gestured at the crowd outside. Everyone was wearing bright T-shirts and jeans, but one guy was in a severe dark suit and shiny dress shoes.

Bryan: Can you guess which of those guys is Secret Service?
Me: (Singing) Which of these kids is doing his own thing?
B: Which of these kids is heav-i-ly armed?

Oct 27 2006

Ipod Etiquette

The first installment of my Thoughtful User Guide is up at The Morning News. It’s on iPod etiquette:

“Yes, we know you like music. We can see that it moves you. This is because you’re always moving—bopping your head, dancing, drumming, even singing along. Please, stop it. Otherwise, we’re forced to feign interest in your childlike enthusiasm for a song we can’t even hear. It’s exhausting.”

Oct 26 2006

Prepared

It’s our first day of birthing class, and all the women show up in sweatpants and T-shirts. I’m looking around thinking, really? We’ve all given up already?

Then the teacher says, “I know the handout mentioned that everyone should come in stretchy clothing, but we won’t be doing floor exercises until next week.”

Oh. The handout. Right.

Oct 25 2006

Two Things in Other Places

1. Megan, Will You Be My Mom? or Amazing Spider Cakes and Knitted Wig

Oops. Didn’t realize this was set for private viewing only.2. Portrait of Dorian Champ or Heather Never Ages

3. Where’s My X-Acto Knife? or Sigh-Worthy Paper Cuts

Oct 24 2006

Just Write

Eden over at Fussy has just christened National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo), during which participants agree to post every day during November.

She has quite a list of participants going, and I’m falling in line. I can’t resist tidy little packets of accomplishment. Won’t you join me? Yes! Do!

And please don’t tell me you can’t think of anything to write about. By now, you know what to do about that.

Oct 23 2006

MacNeil and Lehrer

Me: You know the weirdest thing about these boobs?
Bryan: What?
M: Every night when I change into pajamas, I realize crumbs of food have been collecting in my cleavage all day long. It’s not hot.
B: I love how you say “these boobs” instead of “my boobs.” Like they’re an inconvenient college roommate who’s been assigned to you.
M: I can’t relate to them.

Oct 20 2006

Just Like Yawning

Does anyone else have this running through their heads?

“SHOT THROUGH THE HEART!
And you’re to blame,
Darlin’ you give looooove a bad name (bad name).”

What about now, suckers?