Learning

Leo Babauta recently summarized lessons he’s learned over ten years of publishing Zen Habits:

What I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Zen Habits

I love experience roundups like this. Some interesting insights:

“The pull of distractions and urges to buy things (to solve problems or give us pleasure) is incredibly strong. Consumerism pulls on us every day, every time we watch TV, read online, see friends or strangers using products … and results in us owning too man possessions and getting too deep in debt.”

“I experimented with giving up goals after being very focused on goals for years. It was liberating, and it turns out, you don’t just do nothing if you don’t have a goal. You get up and focus on what you care about.”

“The deeper I dive into mindfulness, the more I find that you can’t really work with anything important without it.”

New Words to Eat

Merriam Webster just added 1,000 new words to the dictionary. Observations:

• Ghosting someone is now an officially awful thing humans do to each other.
• Macaron wasn’t in there before? Weird.
• Microaggression (a slight, often unintended discriminatory comments or behaviors) is one of the new words that gives me hope for the future. Building a shared vocabulary for the ways racism and sexism pervade our lives shapes the way we think, which makes shit like microaggressions less crazy-making.

Black People Explain to Kids How to Deal with the Police

One of the ways I really woke up to how bad racism is in the U.S. was reading an article in Ebony magazine about how to talk to your kids about police. It was in amongst articles about skin products and travel, right there in the middle of all the regular lifestyle magazine stuff. Something about the juxtaposition really brought it home for me emotionally. I knew that talking to your kids about the police is a rote conversation in our black communities, similar to a “birds and bees” talk, but I didn’t understand it emotionally until that moment.

After that, I started going deep every time I heard about another black person hurt or killed by police. I followed all the news, educated myself whenever it happened. I was shocked, and eventually devastated, by how mundane it is. It has become necessary to scare the shit out of your very young American kids, scare them to tears, so they don’t accidentally reach for their license in the presence of an officer who then kills them because they believe the kid is reaching for a gun.

Anyway, if you’re not black and you feel confused, or like there’s something you’re missing, consider just tuning in a little more. Watch the video above, maybe subscribe to Ebony (it’s like $18), follow a dozen black people on Twitter. Don’t bug any strangers, don’t argue with anyone on social media, just listen to the conversation and feelings happening in a few of our black communities. Google stuff you don’t understand, and see what you can learn.

Time Well Spent

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How we spend our time, and by extension our lives, is one of my favorite subjects. Tim Urban’s essay, The Tail End, changed how I think about time. He makes visual charts of a 90-year human life in years, months, weeks, and days. Then he walks through how many more ocean swims he’ll likely have, how many more slices of pizza.

Two things got my attention:

You’ll read a finite number of books in your lifetime. For some reason, this had never occurred to me. Reading an average of twelve books a year, I have 688 books left. It sounds like a lot, and also not enough.

If your kids don’t live near you as adults, by the time they move out you’ve spent 90 percent of the time you’ll have with them. Aaaaaaag! Urban concludes that it’s key to build a life near the people you love. Truth.

Anyway, go read this. It will give you that self-helpy kick where you savor things more acutely for a few weeks afterward. And then maybe read it again.

Duolingo

duolingo

If you’d like to learn another language in your (limited) downtime, the Duolingo app is incredible. It has quick, simple practice sessions that let you accumulate the basics fast. You can set it to how many minutes a day you want to practice, and it tells your percentage of fluency at the end of each practice session. It front loads the commonly used words and phrases, so I’m at 14 percent after only two weeks. So motivational and gamelike, try it!

(Thanks, Swissmiss!)

Today I Found Out

Do you read Today I Found Out?

I came across it when I was wondering why people can live in Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the bombings there.

So much interesting stuff there. Like:

How astronauts used to secure “life insurance” before their missions.

The story of the Japanese soldier who fought WW-II for 29 years after Japan had surrendered, because he didn’t know.

The oldest bit of intact human feces is on display in England.

Having a nine-year-old boy in the family has intensified my enthusiasm for a good poop story.

Breastfeeding Hormones and Depression

Hey, team. I’ve recently had two girlfriends suffer chemical depression that they feel is related to breast feeding — either feeding or weaning. For the record, I’m pro breastfeeding, but con debilitating sadness. I just wanted to link to these posts in case any of you are suffering from something similar and trying to figure out what’s up.

Joanna Goddard from A Cup of Jo on Depression and Weaning

Helen Jane of HelenJane.com on Depression and Breastfeeding Hormones

I’m also hoping to bump the info up on search engines so it’s easier to unearth for other women who may be trying to figure out why they’re crying all the time even though they’re technically past the post-partum depression window.

Have you had a similar experience? If so, you’re welcome to leave stories and links to posts on the subject in comments.

Again! I am pro breastfeeding, and boobs in general. Thanks to Joanna and HJ for speaking up, breastfeeding is a scary issue to address online. Brave. Low fives, ladies.

Our Skin

I’ve been following the comments on my link to the Dark Girls documentary over the last few days, and it has been an education for me. Excerpts from a few comments that I thought deserved more attention.

“…When I came to college, I was able to learn more about the history of Africa and learn about where my family comes from. I didn’t meet black guys who were interested in me which I thought came from me not being involved in a black sorority or in the Black Student Union. When I started to interact with other black students through work and volunteering, I still felt very separated from the “traditionally black” groups. Save for black girls with real (meaning really close) roots in Africa or the Caribbean (a girl whose parents are from Senegal and another whose roots are Native American and Haitian have been two friends I’ve made in the past four years) I’m dismissed by other black girls, too.

I feel guilty saying that it’s because of my dark skin color, because that discounts the fact that maybe I’m an awful person (and maybe I am!) or maybe our personalities don’t sync up. But, I’ve seen girls and boys who have ignored me in African American and African Studies classes excitedly interact with groups of friends I have who run the gambit in personalities but who represent the whitest end of the color spectrum. So, in four years, I’ve learned to draw conclusions.

It’s complicated and it’s a big deal, as evidenced by the little girl in the video who sees race as an indicator of intelligence and beauty, so it’s really hard for me to draw conclusions outside of the ones that I’ve made for myself.

It sounds so trite and Dove campaign-y but I love my skin. In my skin I see my grandmother, a woman I’ve only known in pictures; I see the skin of my ancestors, whom I’ve never seen but who I know looked like me. I see history and I am so lucky to be able to carry that around with me.” –Beatrice

“[On my camera,] I use the ‘lighter skin tone’ setting and flash, sickened by my preference for a lighter me…

The girl I babysit, a sweet, Caucasian girl of age seven, asked the other day, “Do you like having brown skin?”

I stuttered and said something along the lines of, “I guess,” ashamed that I was ashamed of something so natural and uncontrollable as the color of my skin, hating myself for hating myself.” From “Let us be colorful, darling” a post by Lamisa

“…I am Indian. My mother was light/fair skinned and my father was dark skinned. I inherited my father’s darker tones. My mother would scold me constantly for being in the sun and hated when I looked dark. She had stupid creams on me when I was little that would blister and burn my skin.” -Calypso

“You know what’s crazy? That a lot of white girls spend a ton of time and money trying to make their skin darker… Understand: I am in no way trying to say that it’s the same thing as the experience of dark-skinned women… But it just struck me, why are we all programmed to want to be different from how we are?” -Amy

“Wow…unfortunately, this brings back sad memories for me. As a dark skinned African American woman I too heard these comments throughout my life. My saving grace was my beloved grandfather who told me every day that I was beautiful and special and a gift from God. Because of his counter attack on all the negative comments, I grew to love my brown skin. Just goes to show that love can wipe away a multitude of sins.” -Dar

Language Links

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(Wood Type Collage #E by Green Chair Press)

How Interpretation Works at the United Nations

“U.N. interpreters don’t need to know every official language. Rather, the U.N. hires interpreters who can translate into their native language from at least two other languages. A Russian interpreter, for example, might also know English and French. But he might not know Chinese. In that case, if the speaker is Chinese, the interpreters will use what’s called a “relay system.” The interpreters in the Chinese booth will translate the original speech into English or French, and the rest of the interpreters will translate that version into their own languages.”

The Infinite Jest Vocabulary Glossary (via @beksandro):

Anechoic (an·e·cho·ic) — Neither having nor producing echoes.

Regarding “Hell for Leather”:

“Hell for leather, in American vernacular, refers to an arduous walk that may have been strewn with difficulties and was a strain on footwear.”

The nicest things anyone has ever said to Antonia:

“I wish you were my mum.”