Wardrobe Remix

These are my pink superhero boots, which go with nothing. Nothing, I tell you! But do you see how they make me feel? They make me feel like copping a sexy attitude while posing alone in my living room. So imagine how good they’d be if I were dancing on a bar, my friends.

On a side note, this outfit was $32, if you don’t count the shoes. If you do count the shoes, it was $112. I am a shopping genius.

Anyway, what are you up to? Let’s go dance on a bar.

10 Little Black Dresses for Under $40

My lord, I love Target. I just did a post for them on all the affordable little black dresses they have on offer. A couple of them have sold out since I posted, but here are three of my favorites that are still available:

Neck Pleat Dress

Flocked Strapless Dress

Embroidered Lace Dress

From Your Keyboards to My Butt

So remember when I told you that most women’s underwear makes me want to stab people? I asked the universe where to get comfy yet stylish underwear, and 105 of you ponied up.

As a thank you, here’s a round up of the cutest and most oft’ name-checked undies in the all of Mightyland:

Adorable Enough to Risk It

Aerie Gobstopper Boyfly Boybrief (3 Votes)

$4 (on sale) from American Eagle

Maidenform “Micro & Lace” Boy-Short Panty (2 Votes)

$9 from Macy’s

Lulu Boy Pant (1 Vote)

$35 from Macy’s

Cute and Reliable

Hanky Panky Boy Shorts and Bikinis (7 votes) and Thongs (4 votes)

$34 each from Nordstrom

$26 each from Nordstrom

$18 each from Nordstrom

(I must interject here that I will wear thongs only for as long it takes to get me laid, but so many people mentioned these that I couldn’t ignore them.)

Women’s Mesh Hipster Underwear (4 Votes)

$3 each (on sale) from Old Navy

Straightforward Crowd Pleasers

Gilligan & O’Malley Modal Underwear (3 Votes)

$10 for two from Target

Hanes Body Creations Stretch Cotton Hipster (4 votes)

$8 for three from Amazon

Regular Rise Cotton Bikini (9 votes)

$4 (on sale) from Gap Body

Jockey Comfies Cotton Bikinis (4 Votes)

$24 for three from Jockey

There now. I feel more pleasant already.

On Chafing

The time has come to buy new underwear. However, since having that cute baby and then losing the pregnancy weight, something has gone awry. All currently fashionable underwear is now made to go up my butt.

Bikini undies? Sure! If you like them up your butt. Tap pants? Sounds good, assuming you enjoy that extra material nestled up your butt. Boy shorts? Why waste effort walking around for 10 minutes? Just wedge them up your butt immediately so you can tug uncomfortably at your jeans for the next eight hours.

Listen, I’m already wearing shoes that make my feet bleed. The underwire on my bra is probably jabbing my ribs. You don’t want me any more irritated. It’s taking all my willpower not to cut someone. Introduce up-the-butt pants to this precarious scenario, and I can’t be held responsible. I also probably won’t be able to operate a motor vehicle.

Do you hear me, Universe? Take me to your comfortable yet stylish underwear! You drive.

It’s the Shoes

During the two hours we meeted and greeted, Heather stood in these shoes:

In fact, she’d been wearing them since noon, when we left the hotel to present. She did not whine a single time, and only whimpered once.

So the next time you find yourself wondering why you can’t pay your mortgage with your Internet Website, don’t ask yourself where you’d find ten hours a day to take photos of suburban life, balance batteries on your dog’s head, and write detailed essays about Al Roker’s nipples. Ask yourself whether you’d be willing to stand in 5 inch heels for seven hours while greeting 200 people you don’t know.

Next time I present somewhere, I’m wearing 15″ lucite stilettos. I apologize in advance if my feet bleed on you.

Red Coat

There’s a photo of me up at Fashioni.st, my friend Mai’s San Francisco street fashion blog. That coat is one of my newest wardrobe infatuations, I never take it off. Also, it was fifteen bucks. Woot!

Rowr

This 1950’s Saks Leopard Print 3/4 Sleeve Swing Coat is identical to the coat I wore while I was pregnant, and it made me feel so cutie when I otherwise felt kinda bleh. If you’re having a baby, or love someone who is, this coat is a winner.

Not preggo? This zebra stripe J Crew cardigan is on mega-sale. You’re welcome.