Fridaaaay! Links

Oof. Guys. These last couple weeks have been so intense. This weekend we’re taking a brief break from grinding our teeth to do as little as possible. We’ll play with the baby Saturday, then maybe hit up the Alameda Flea Sunday and get some kettle corn for the big game. How are you holding up? Here’s some good stuff I’ve been seeing around.

This Missy Elliot video is beautiful. You can feel her brain all over it.

I want this Toi et Moi ring. Moi’s! Aaaaaall moi’s.

Jen Brea’s Unrest premiered at Sundance! BOOM. It’s a film about Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) and the stigma surrounding the disease. If you’re attending SxSW, there will be a screening there as well. Please go see.

Romance.

These glass carafes by Anna Karlin Studios are so colorful and simple. via Cool Hunting

I waited to buy an electric tea kettle until I could find one that looked like a real kettle. This is the only other one I’ve seen in years, and it’s on sale.

An Open Letter From That One Guy Who Organized 3.5 Million Illegal Voters
“As Donald Trump has noted, we only wanted to have votes illegally cast in California and New York, because those were the states where a massive voting fraud scheme would matter the very least.”

As Einstein once said…

A device that turns compostable items into fertilizer in 24 hours.

My friend Erin Loechner has a new book out called Chasing Slow. Congrats, Erin!

Also, I pinned a bunch of stuff. Mostly old stuff I found on Etsy and bathroom design ideas, because I need to gut two bathrooms in the new place. That’s a lotta tile.

Classic Valentine’s Day 101

You’re the less romantic one in your relationship, and maybe Valentine’s Day is causing some anxiety. If you’re curious how to make the day a win for you, these are some sweet, hyper-traditional gifts. They say the only thing your love wants to hear on Valentine’s Day: I remembered.

valentinesdaybasics

For Valentine’s Day, the actual Valentine is obligatory. You can buy a card, but a handmade Valentine is sweeter. This set of ten heart cards with envelopes, $9 lets you write love notes for other occasions too. Earnest expressions of affection are a safer bet than humor. “Be my Valentine, [love’s name]!” is just fine. Maybe draw a little picture, or cut and glue some photos from magazines. Effort counts here.

Now you need a present. You don’t have to spend a lot, google free or cheap Valentine’s Day gifts if you need help.

prestatheartchocolates
A small heart-shaped box of good chocolate is kitschy fantastic.  Prestat Artisan Pink Heart Shaped Box, $25 is a great one. (You can get it on Amazon for $34, if ease is your thing.) If your Valentine is dieting, ask if chocolate would be a nice treat or an act of sabotage.

dozenroses
A dozen red roses, $31 is Valentine’s Day in floral form. If you’d prefer a grand gesture, you can order two dozen roses, $48. People who find this cheesy can be ferreted out by asking, “Do you think red roses on Valentine’s Day are cheesy or nice?” And if the answer is “Cheesy, but I like flowers.” look for another bouquet with only one type of flower. Because of the flower rush on Valentine’s Day, florists sometimes sub-in weird stuff when you order a “mixed bouquet.” If your person doesn’t like flowers “because they just die,” your partner may not actually give a crap if you remember Valentine’s Day.

lovepoemsneruda
Love Poems by Pablo Neruda, $10 is solid. Ideally, you’ll read it first, and inscribe the book with something romantic. If you’re at a loss, “I love you!” is a good bet, but you can also quote a line from one of the poems. If Neruda isn’t your jam, here’s a nice edition of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. For bonus points, read through and mark a few applicable sentiments.

diamondstuds
Jewelry as a gift says you’re serious about this person. Diamond studs, from $235 are classic, but you can buy any kind of jewelry in your price range. Like these gold-dipped studs for $20, or this pretty bangle for $28.

Unless the person has specifically mentioned they want a piece of jewelry, you’ll want to keep your choice very simple. Avoid heart-shaped pieces, because most of those are cute on Valentine’s Day but a little odd to wear otherwise. Also avoid rings, because they can cause a confusing Is this a proposal? moment.

Okay! Today is February 1. Order something now and set an alarm on your phone for February 13, so you can get everything sorted for presentation on Valentine’s Day morning.  First thing. This is so your love doesn’t spend the day worried that you forgot, instead of smiling about how uncharacteristically thoughtful you’ve been.

In addition to a card and a gift, plan for one special meal or event — maybe breakfast in bed, or a nicer dinner than usual. If you’re broke, a long walk or lighting candles for regular dinner counts too.

Happy Valentine’s Day, friend. You got this.

See also:
Not Stupid Gifts for Women
Valentine Gift Guide for Her

10 Nerd Valentines to Aid in Propagation of Desirable Genetic Qualities

Reiterating my annual request for smart people to breed. Thank you.

startrekvalentine
Great Minds Drink Alike Valentine, $5
See also this Picard digital download that says, “Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded.” Romance!

Allyourbasevalentine
All Your Heart Are Belong to Me, $5
I just set you up the bomb.

boobiescalculaiton
Boobies Calculation, $4
A much more sound approach than kicking her because you like her.

player2valentine
Player 2 Valentine, $4
This fancy one is great too.

Saganvalentine
Carl Sagan Valentine, $5
Cyrano got nothing on Sagan.

Spacevalentine
Space and Time Valentine, $5
You should probably let those guys go.

drwhovalentine
Dr. Who Valentine, $5
Comes see the softer side of gears.

Replenishvalentine
Replenish My Hearts, $8
You are a life-giving force, son.

textingbubblevalentine
Texting Bubble Stationery Set, $16
Maybe you’re old fashioned, and you want to text a love letter.

protestvalentine
Papercut Protest Valentine, $5
All of us know Valentine’s Day is a fake holiday created by greeting card companies anyway. But if you’re going this route, maybe grab her some flowers too.

Plus some old guides that might give you good ideas:
I Love You, Nerd Valentine: Top 10 Valentines for Geeks
Nerds in Love: 10 Valentines for Geeks
Literary Valentines

Literary Valentines

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays, so I’m about to come down with another gift guide flurry as an exercise in alleviating my anxiety. Love! It’s chiller than hate.

The couple that reads together lives happily ever after.

whitmancard
Walt Whitman Valentine, $4
The ultimate outcome of growing old together.

orwellcard
George Orwell Valentine, $3
Let’s embrace our dystopian future as a team.

paradisebookcard
Reader Valentine, $4
Another year in paradise. Until she meets his old friend Milton, am I right guys?

nerudacard
Pablo Neruda Valentine, $5
Charming or foreboding, depending on where we’re at with this relationship.

hemingwaycard
Ernest Hemingway Valentine/Print, $8
I have no snark for this quote. Classic.

Unique Wedding Readings

evanybwahaha
Our friend Evany married us, and this photo was taken just as she muttered something about spinning wheels and our first born child.

We got married in July, and man is it a bear to find non-trite wedding readings. This is especially true when it’s not your first marriage and there are already kids in the mix. In case you’re curious, or looking yourself, here’s what we picked.

Here by Grace Paley

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that’s who I wanted to be

at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that’s my old man across the yard
he’s talking to the meter reader
he’s telling him the world’s sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips

An excerpt from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird:

“E.L. Doctorow said once said that ‘Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.’ You don’t have to see where you’re going, you don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice on writing, or life, I have ever heard”

And finally, Brad is a big fan of Bob Ross and his happy little trees. We chose a bunch of his quotes together, and I arranged them into a sort of found poem. It was so simple, and true, and I ended up loving it:

Arranged quotations from Bob Ross

It’s so important to do something every day that will make you happy.

Just let go, and fall like a little waterfall.

That’s when you experience true joy. When you have no fear.

We’re gonna make some big decisions in our little world.

Don’t be afraid to make these big decisions. Once you start, they just sort of make themselves.

That’s what makes life fun. That you can make these decisions. That you can create the world you want.

Life is too short to be alone, too precious. Share it with a friend.

It’s life. It’s interesting. It’s fun.

Let it make you happy.

If you have good suggestions for wedding readings, please fire away in comments.

Fridaaaay! Links

Today is lunch with an old friend I haven’t seen since I ran into him at a Paris flea market, and dinner with Brad’s bestie and his new(ish) love. This weekend we’re joining the Women’s March in San Francisco with some friends, and Sunday we have many plants that need potting. What are you up to? Are you joining in any civic unrest? Or does resting in general sound better? Take care of yourself. Some good links for you:


“For three weeks, I wrote down any thought, image or memory that gave me a tingly feeling. I animated the list, and what it accidentally became was a stream-of-consciousness trek through my life. This is the trailer to my brain.” –Nate Milton (via Swiss Miss)

Sunken, 600-year-old Buddha emerges from water in China. This is my jam.

“Surround yourself with people who are doers and who are positive. If you’re going to be influenced by people, both consciously and subconsciously, it may as well be people that are smart, talented, and fun to be around.” Justina Blakeney’s Meditation on Creativity

Eat your enemies faces.

Dogs keep committing suicide by leaping off Overtoun Bridge. (via Atlas Obscura)

Ooo. Tea pour-over set.

Library that protects the world’s rarest colors, including a pigment made from human mummies.

Never forget.

Jennifer Brea’s TED Talk, and Equality in Healthcare

Women’s bodies are a battleground on all fronts, not just reproductive.

Jennifer Brea is the founder of #MEAction, a patients-rights platform for those who suffer from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, and I’m proud to serve on the board. The disease is more commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and it predominantly affects women. Many patients are diagnosed with a modern-day form of hysteria. Did you even know that was still a thing? “You’re a Harvard PhD student who can no longer write her own name? Perhaps you have the vapors.”

Infuriating.

Please plug in your headphones and listen to Jen’s talk. I can’t stop thinking about it.

If you’d like to know more, you can follow Jen on Twitter at @jenbrea, or see a screening of her documentary Unrest.