Month: March 2010

Lifescoop: 4 Tips for Creating an Inspiring Office

I rent a little writing office, and as you probably know I recently acquired an office mate. She was all set to move in when I realized I was embarrassed to have anyone see my workspace, let alone share it. At the time, it was a barren closet packed with boxes and junk I’d dragged in from the car.

Together we’ve been revamping, and slowly the storage closet is turning into a jewel box. Here’s what I’ve learned about making an office into an inspiring space.

1. Take good care of yourself.

It’s tough for an office to be inspiring if it’s not physically comfortable. Read more of 4 Tips for Creating an Inspiring Office.

Je Ne Parle Pas Français

So, one of the items on my Mighty Life List is “Be conversational in seven languages.” I studied Spanish for years, and I think language really shapes how I think. Knowing another language besides my native tongue has given me an alternate way of looking at the world. Knowing Spanish specifically makes me sometimes want to cry when I hear a guitar playing at night, and makes me more willing to be the first one dancing at parties. That could also be the tequila of course, but I digress.

When I first made my list, some part of me thought the simple act of writing things down would magically make them happen. Like once I realized that I wanted to pick blackberries and make pies, I’d just find myself passing blackberry bramble on a walk one Sunday with a bucket in hand.

As I’ve started to cross things off, it has genuinely surprised me that I have to plan fun. I guess some part of me thinks that fun will just happen, even very specific types of fun, and that I shouldn’t have to actively put aside time for that stuff.

It took around three years of lessons before I could get the gist of most conversations in Spanish. So if I start now, it will be about fifteen years before I can cross off this goal.

On Wednesday night, I got started. Verizon is sponsoring French classes with Bryan, which we’ll be attending until we can speak French. I’ll keep you posted.

Merci beaucoup to Verizon Wireless for sponsoring my Mighty Life List and helping me achieve my dreams. They’re making my site more interesting by helping me cross off few more goals, and they also gave me a Palm Pre Plus. One that completes calls. Thanks, guys.

Here We Go

A couple points that didn’t make it into the video: We don’t require Hank to express affection. If we ask him to hug someone, or kiss them goodnight, and he says no? That’s the end of the discussion. We say, “Oh, Hank is feeling shy right now. Maybe later,” and we drop it. Because he’s so little and he can’t yet process conversations about sexual abuse, I feel like this is one of the best ways to show him he has the right to decide how and whether touching occurs. My intent is to focus on self-esteem in general, and particularly around issues of personal space to make him a difficult target for predator grooming.

Advice from those with experience welcome in comments.

Update: A few more things I’d like to add after reading comments.

Jan, who was a police officer, makes an excellent point in comments that we can mitigate the damage done to especially young children by reacting with care. Her comment is worth a read.

Amanda said: “I think that this is where things get really difficult — when it’s someone you know, a friend of the family or family itself. If you don’t want to put that person through the criminal justice system (for whatever reason) but you want to respond appropriately. This is where I’m guessing a lot of parents are at a loss.”

I’m not directing this at you Amanda, but I appreciate you raising such a good point. I have to say that I strongly disagree with the notion of helping an abuser avoid the criminal justice system, even if it’s a close loved one with mitigating circumstances. The impulse to shield attackers through silence or inaction is a deep betrayal of our children. Keeping quiet sends a strong message that you’re choosing the molester over your own child’s well being, and to me that’s an abusive mindset. Of course it’s painful to realize that someone you love is an abuser, but better that person suffer for his or her choices than your child suffer further emotional damage in realizing that you are unwilling to fulfill your role as protector.

Also folks are offering some good resources:

King County Sexual Assault Resource Center for how to talk to your kids in age appropriate ways
The Secret of the Silver Horse is a story for older kids.
Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker for those who want more information on protecting their kids’ instincts and their own

Packing Light: ALT Summit

I try to travel without checking luggage, and Packing Light is a series about what I pack to get that done.

I haven’t done a lot of winter suitcases, so I thought I’d do a post about what I packed to speak at ALT Summit. The jeans are from The Limited, and I need to imagine a gospel choir singing and Jesus rays breaking through the clouds as I type this next part: They were the first pair I tried on. I’m a size 8 to 10 in jeans, and the ones at The Limited have a perfect waist to bum ratio for my figure, so the waistline doesn’t gap. The boots are my magic Buenos Aires boots from the trip we took when Hank was a baby.

The undershirt is an acid yellow top I got at Old Navy in a frenzied stock up on layering pieces when they had the $5 sale before Christmas. I like to buy unusual colors so I can combine them with neutrals and have it look all artsy, which is what I’m going for with this grey Dolman sleeve sweater, also from a sale at The Limited (twenty bucks, baby!).

Laura took this lovely photo of me in my outfit for the “Old Hollywood” party. I took that to mean retro-Oscars, but most other ladies wore chic little cocktail dresses, which means I was grievously overdressed. Upside, I arrived after dinner and drinks, so I was mostly too illuminated to care much.

This is a cheap feather hair clip I often use to spruce up dress straps. It can add va-voom to the most mundane spaghetti strap number.

Update: I got the clip at a cheesy costume shop on the Haight, the one with all the wigs and spandex zebra print outfits. I looked for a similar one online but couldn’t find it. If you do, let me know and I’ll post a link in a later post. Also, this can get crushed in a suitcase, so I pack it in a hard-sided cardboard box that’s maybe three inches high.

My hair is getting too long for ponytails, it just tends to look scraggly, so this is my version of the quick updo. I twist back the front sections, then do a loose chignon in the back.

The shoes are a hand-me-down from my sister. I like the surprise lattice work in back.

I like to wear color when I’m onstage, so this is what I wore to speak. I got the Esprit velvet mini at a thrift store in college. Grey tights are from Target.

I got the shirt and belt on sale at JCrew and I wear them both constantly. The cashmere sweater is a vintage Pringle from the Alameda Flea Market (twenty bucks!). The brooch is by Elefante, e a Vida, and I adore it. Miriam’s work is my go-to gift for beloved girlfriends, all of whom I’m pinning one by one.

I got this fake fur jacket years ago at a thrift store in Sacramento. It brings back amazing memories of having breakfast at a sidewalk cafe on sunny winter mornings. My roomie at the time had a giant giraffe-print coat, and we’d wrap up so we could sit outside without waiting for a table. I swear I can smell mint tea every time I put it on, and it’s crazy warm.

Update: I wore the jacket and boots on the plane, so I didn’t have to fit those in the suitcase. Next time I’ll remember to include a shot of the case packed. I also roll my clothing to save space, though the long dress I just folded over and stored in a top panel of the case.

Leggings by H&M, as is the zip-front sweater.

These leg warmers are also H&M, and they are divine. They make it more feasible to wear leggings as pants, and you can really wear them with anything when you want to throw in a little trendy kick.

(Someone asked in comments what I’m wearing on my lips in this photo. I think it’s just Burt’s Bees peppermint chapstick.)

And finally, you must own one of these American Apparel circle scarves. I never take mine off, and there’s so many ways to wear it, I give a full-on infomercial to anyone who will listen. Sorry about that, Karen and Erin. But you love the scarf don’t you? I thought so.

Mighty Life List: Choose Your Own Adventure

So, I have news. News that warrants a celebratory hair flip:

(It’s helpful to have one of those on hand.)

The news is that Verizon Wireless is sponsoring my Mighty Life List! Yes they are! We are getting this done, y’all.

I’ll be working on three items this month, and I’ll tell you all about them right here. What I’m hoping is that you’ll commit to doing three things this month too, and keep us updated via comments. At the end of the month, I’ll do a roundup about all the living we got done.

I’ll tell you more about my goals as we go along. Verizon gave me a new phone and the idea is to use it to help me tackle my Mighty Life List, so I chose goals that are more about living my daily life thoughtfully, and less about jet setting. Also, I’ve added “Tattoo a Verizon logo on my bicep” to my list, so I’ll be starting there.

Oh, but I kid. It will be on my ankle next to the Celtic gecko.

Now for you! What are you doing this month? Something awesome? Tell us.

A huge thanks to Verizon Wireless for sponsoring my Mighty Life List and helping me achieve my dreams. They’re making my site more interesting by helping me cross off few more goals, and they also gave me a Palm Pre Plus. One that completes calls. Thanks, guys.