Tag Archives: Texas

Hello Sailor, Vintage Photos

21st April 2010

Meet “Hopeless” Eddy, Mickey Van London, and “Glamour” Gallemore. I found them inside a dusty box in a curio shop when Melissa and I were visiting Puerto Rico.

I could spend hours looking through photos in antique shops, especially near old military bases. Sailors take great candids.

Some of my favorite photos are the ones we’d just delete without thinking from our digital cameras.

This photo says Galveston, Texas on the back. Is your grandfather in here somewhere?

Mom 2.0 Recap: Let’s all move to the same city

24th February 2010

First, I regret that I can’t offer Mad Men hair tutorials, because I had nothing to do with it. Diana from the Sax Fifth Avenue Salon was responsible for all the ratting and twisting and pinning. It involved no extra hairpieces, but she did use three pounds of bobby pins:

My neck could barely support my giant lolling head, but would you believe the whole session only took about fifteen minutes? Having an updo done in Texas is like having your tires changed by a pit crew at the Indy 500.

During the party, Jenny snuck back to her room for her bottle of Strawberry Hill — presumably because she was looking to get some teenage girls drunk. When she returned, she mentioned that someone had asked her if she was “working.” We laughed, because she was wearing a giant blonde wig and a black petticoat. The next day some guy at a helicopter conference mistook me for a prostitute too, only I was in my regular clothes. So who’s the pretty one now, Jenny?

Karen took some photos of me for her upcoming book The Beauty of Different. She taught me Andrea’s trick for making people laugh in photos, which is to ask them to turn away and then spin around really fast with a fierce face. Like so:

I demonstrated later for the very brave Jon from Daddy Scratches, who was among the few men at the conference. He took the photo I’ll use when I’m asked to speak at Davos:

Karen also started on her Mighty Life List at the conference! Boo-yah.

She just published it, and she’s already gotten started with a project to photograph 1,000 faces. Also, she offered to show me around Trinidad for Carnival on the condition that I wear a sequined bikini with her. So I apologize for the Flickr stream in advance.

Rebecca was my roomie, which meant lots of laughing after lights out and many startling, pseudo-sexual assgrabs at the bar.

I’m pretty sure we’re engaged now, Rebecca. Please apologize to Hal for me. Rebecca also did my eye makeup for the keynote panel. Her eye makeup tutorial is legend, so now my eyes are totally Internet famous.


(Photo by Mainline Mom who has lots of great photos of the conference.)

The keynote panel with Heather, Gabby, and Stephanie was a lot of fun because it felt like a real conversation — albeit a conversation with 300 people, many of whom were wielding cameras and live blogging. Good eye makeup does wonders for your chutzpah.

The last day, I walked Heather up to her room to keep her company while she packed. She reached into the minibar and said, “Do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve had a cocktail date?” Between pregnancies and breast feeding over the last few years, there’s been entirely too much napping and not nearly enough Madonna karaoke at our recent reunions. She twisted the tops off two miniature whiskeys, and we clinked airplane bottle necks.

Then she tried to make me promise not to tell Jon that she wore 8-inch stripper heels all weekend, despite her fractured tailbone. Honey, Jon has met you.

This is Laura doing her impeccable Laura imitation at the Mom 2.0: Defining a Movement exhibit. The next day, Laura and I toasted her awesome conference in the hot tub. I met so many smart, kind women this year, I came home feeling overwhelmed by all the possibilities unfolding for our community.

Well done, girl. You know how to throw a party.

Texas Ranger Hall of Fame and Museum

17th May 2006

On our way home from Argentina, we stayed for a few days in Austin. On the drive from the Dallas airport, we stopped at the Texas Ranger Hall of Fame and Museum in Waco. There we found:

• A blood-splatter simulation display.
• A collection of bugs that inhabit the human body as it begins to decompose.
• A safe full of valuables that contains a beauty pageant tiara.

There were also enough guns to outfit a large militia, and endless photos of white men in hats. While we were there, a man’s cell phone rang, and before he picked up, I recognized his ringer as “God Bless America.” I love you, Texas.

Texas Rebels

29th September 2005

While we’re in Texas with Bryan’s family, we have dinner at the hotel where we’re staying. On my way to the bathroom, I realize the hotel is also hosting a high school homecoming dance. The hallway is jammed with boys in ill-fitting suits and extravagantly rouged girls, all fiddling with their itchy wrist corsages.

In the women’s room, a the girls are jockeying for a bit of the mirror, applying lipstick and fussing with their severe updos. When they notice me, they give embarrassed smiles and scoot aside so I can wash my hands. Just then, two girls enter and stop inside the door. One is in a tasteful chocolate dress with cream piping, cut in a fifties silhouette. The other is wearing a Barbie-pink gown, festooned with glitter, and transparent from her feet up to her knees. She is very slim, just leaving behind her gawkiness, and she begins to hike her skirt up in front of the mirror. Her friend objects:

-You’re doing it right here?

-What?

-You’re just going to do it right here?

-Yeah? Why not?

She reaches up her skirt, wriggles, yanks free an enormous, elastic, tan girdle. She lets out a heavy sigh and pats her flat tummy.

-Why were you even wearing that thing?

-Because my mom told me I looked fat.

-What?

-She said, Here. Your stomach is sticking out. Put this on.

-What a bitch.

-I know.