Fellow Mortals by Dennis Mahoney

Fellow Mortals is my friend Dennis Mahoney‘s first novel, and it’s one of Booklists Top Ten First Novels of 2013. Go Dennis!

A few of my favorite parts:

Eventually it struck him: she was out there, right that minute, in a coffin underground less than twenty minutes from the motel, her clothes and hair all perfectly arranged and it was possible — unthinkable but possible — to see her face and even hold her hand.

Nan and Ava bristled from the start. They’re electrically polite, vying for dominion, Nan asserting her rights within the boundaries of decorum, Ava mastering her home with limits and concessions. This morning they offered each other first use of the washing machine with so much crackling generosity that Wing tucked tail and hid beneath a table.

The oven smells warm; it makes the kitchen like a bedroom. Evaporated milk cans open with a kiss. There’s a little spot of pumpkin at the button of her cuff and a faint taste of flour when he pecks her on the neck.

“I never would have guessed,” he said. “You seem so fertile.”
“I have breeding hips.”
He laughs and says, “That isn’t what I meant.”
She puts a hand to her stomach, following a breath, picturing her body full of daffodils and fruit.

… the light looks pale — more factual than warm.”

VOCABULARY

phoebe – an American tyrant flycatcher with mainly gray-brown or blackish plumage.
iliac crest – The upper edge of the pelvic bone
scud – move fast in a straight line because or as if driven by the wind.
sough – a moaning, whistling, or rushing sound as made by the wind in the trees or the sea.
chiminea – an earthenware outdoor fireplace shaped like a light bulb, with the bulbous end housing the fire and typically supported by a wrought-iron stand.

6 Tips for Editing Your Life List

Editing your Life List isn’t cheating, it’s growth. I know some people feel like their Life Lists are set in stone, and presumably those people are still saving for the tribal band tattoo they wanted when they were fifteen.

Every year or so, I go through my Life List and make sure it still makes sense for me. A few of the ways I approach the editing process:

1. Break goals down.
“Become conversational in seven languages” has been one of my favorite goals. So erudite! So chatty! But I’m stalled. I currently speak English and Spanish. I keep saying that “someday” I will tackle the rest. Someday what? Someday I’m going to sit down and learn five more languages in an evening? Maybe on a Tuesday in 2023?

So I changed the goal to, “Learn French.” I have, in fact, taken French classes. I have also been to France, and would like to return. Hence, I will learn more French until I can have a conversation. And once I do, we can talk about those other four languages. In French, si vous préférez.

2. Make symbolic goals more tangible.
“Buy stock on my own” was on my list, because to me it was a symbolic marker of someone who had their shit together financially. Turns out I don’t want to know how to buy stock. I do not care. I want to keep my checking account balanced, and know I’m on track for retirement. New goal? “Get my financial life in order.”

3. Consolidate.
“Get organized and own less crap” is the same as “Become a tidy person,” in my mind. But the latter is what I actually want.

I don’t want to clean out my apartment, I want to change my relationship to material things. So I kept “Become a tidy person,” and added organization and closet clearing to the sub-list.

4. Examine your motives.
I tried “Start a daily meditation practice” and it didn’t stick, but I don’t feel too worried about it. I deleted the goal because the whole point of meditating was to worry less anyway? So it worked. Everyone should try meditation.

I also had “Write 365 thank you notes” on my list, because I wanted to get back into the practice of writing them. Gratitude makes you happier, and more evolved, and increases muscle tone. Read the studies.

Anyway, I didn’t feel excited about it. Turns out I just like to think of friends finding real mail in their mailboxes. So I changed my goal to “Send 365 pieces of real mail.” And now I’m all set up for success. Stamps!

5. Speak for yourself.
Hank was really into robots for about three weeks, and we decided to make a robot zine together. I added it to my list, because awesome. Then when I sat us down to do it? He was into it for 10 minutes. So instead of forcing him to draw robots as some sort punitive exercise for being an indecisive six year old, I removed it from my list. Zen parenting, om.

6. Own up.
One of the questions I ask myself is, “Do I want to do this, or do I want to say I’ve done it?” Often it’s the latter. Case in point? Multi-day biking trip. Would I do it? Sure. If someone showed up at my door and said, “I have arranged an all-expenses-paid biking trip, Maggie Mason! Here is your bike. I have packed your bags and your food and lodging await.”

Rad. I shall pull on some spandex forthwith!

But. Assuming that doesn’t happen, do I want to go on a biking trip enough to plan it myself — or spend a year pitching it to potential backers? Do I want to spend a lot of money on an adequate bicycle, recruit friends, arrange for lodging and food, set aside vacation time, find child care?

No. I will never do that. Delete.

Have you edited your list recently, or did you have it tattooed on your person? If so, pics please. And if you don’t have a Life List yet, you should make one on Go Mighty, which is our community site. Come hang out.

Homemade Super Mario Birthday Party

Last year Hank asked for a Super Mario Brothers party. I assumed there would be branded crap everywhere, so I went to Target the day before… and nothing. So I went to two more party stores, neither of which had a single Super Mario party supply. The hell, Capitalism? So, this is what I pulled together on a wing and a prayer.

I’m proudest of the power-star balloons above, which I made by adding strips of electrical tape to make the signature eyes. It took about a minute per balloon, and I felt like a genius you guys.

These gift bags were 30 cents each, and then I stuck on the little faux fur mustaches, which are just the ones you buy in packets for wearing on your face. I wrote on the Let’s Go! Mostly because I didn’t feel like struggling with my printer for four hours to make pro-looking labels.

Here’s what was in them:

These are chocolate coins. I filled the bags, folded them over, and wrote the labels.

I cut the mustaches out so they still had sticker backings on them, and then used double sided sticky tape to affix them to these tags.

The one branded thing I was able to find that was under $10 a pop. They’re fruit snacks. If I had it to do over, I’d also add a tiny branded toy of some sort, but there was no time for me to special order them. Be ye forewarned.

These cupcakes were crazy easy. I bought those candies you use to melt down and pour into molded trays. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can get them at Michaels or most any craft store or specialty food shop.) Then I just iced the cupcakes and stuck them on for a toadstool effect. You cannot screw this up.

And there you go. This year he wants a Minecraft party. So I’ll be hanging out on Pinterest for the next month or so.

Mighty Thirst: Pineapple Crush

Sometimes you want a little snack with your drink.

1/4 Cup pineapple
1 Shot Vodka
Cream Soda

Chop up your pineapple until it’s the size you want for biting. You can also freeze it or use frozen pineapple to ice the drink, or blend the fruit with a little water if you want more pineapple flavor and a slushy texture. Add your preferred pineapple format to the glass, pour vodka over, top with Cream Soda to taste and give it a little stir.

Now turn your heater all the way up, and go find your sunglasses. Ah. Hawaii in January.

I’m making 100 cocktails as part of my Life List. Here are a few of the others:

Toddy Shots
The ABC
Café Picante

Resolved, 2014

The New Year. She is upon us.

Twenty fourteen, we meet you with glasses raised, and shoulders squared. Resolved:

Eat more snacks.
You want to have 15 meals a day, but still support your weight on your own feeble ankles? Snacks! You want to consume something that has a jingle you can hum while you eat it? Snacks! You want food that can be lifted to your mouth using only your tongue? Snacks!

This year, I shall eat tiny things by the thousands using only my fingers. Fun size, 2014.

Make cool stuff.
A little while ago, this thing didn’t exist, but then you made it. So now it does. Because you are a sorcerer, and triumph is your currency.

This year, I will start dozens of things, and then I will finish them. Projects, 2014.


Art by Jorge Aijon.

Mess around.
Man. Making out, right? Someone should tell the youth. Kissy face, 2014.

Dress real cute.
Sometimes you’re having a crap day. You wake up feeling akimbo, and you spill something, right before you break something, and over breakfast you ponder whether you are an imposter in your own life. But then! You put on a tweed skirt, and you are quite careful with your lipstick, and you lace up some charming ankle boots, tie the bows just so, and everything is a little easier.

Cute clothes make me feel cozy, and tidy, and fit for bookstore browsing. Dress for the job you want. Girl armor, 2014.

That’s how my year is shaping up. Do you have any fun resolutions? Tell.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Resolved, 2012
Resolved, 2013
My Life List over at Go Mighty
An Easy System for Organizing Goals

How to Make Care Kits for Homeless People

Hank and I made Homeless Survival Kits as part of a Life List goal to do a holiday project together. It surprised me by becoming an easy way for Hank to ask me questions, so I wrote about that over here: Talking to My Kid About Homelessness Without Giving Him Nightmares. This is something that has come up a lot in San Francisco, where we have a lot of folks on the streets.

We do give money to our local food bank, but I’d like to have something on me to offer when people ask for help, so Hank doesn’t get the message that you can be indifferent to people in trouble. I did a little research on what to put in our kits, and we ended up using:

Gallon-sized, rainproof ziplock bags
Disposable razors
Lip balm
Travel deodorant
Body wash
Bandaids
Folding travel toothbrushes
Travel toothpaste
Ibuprofen
Wet wipes
Kind bars (softer to chew than granola)
crackers

More items to consider:

Water bottles
Bus passes
Combs
Tampons
Hand warmers
Shaving cream
Socks/gloves
Cheese or peanut butter crackers
Applesauce
Pudding
Vienna sausages with pull off lids
Plastic forks and spoons
Additional ziplock bags to keep belongings dry

There’s a good thread on Meta-Filter that has a lot of suggestions in comments. You can drop your kits off at a local shelter, or give them out individually.

Also, some nice things to consider generally:

Softer food is easier for people to chew if their teeth are hurting. Homeless people don’t have access to dentists or often any way to keep their teeth in shape, so consider that when you’re choosing food.

Hydration can be a big problem when you don’t have a house. If you’re offering food, try to offer a drink as well.

Take your leftovers, and request plastic silverware. If you live in a big city, never turn down your leftovers when you can hand them to someone within a few feet of the door, or leave them on top of the nearest bench or post box for someone to find. I told a waiter I was leaving the rest of my dinner out, and he taped silverware and a napkin to the top. Genius! So now I request one if the place seems to offer takeout. Also, I like to write the date and time on the box if I have a pen.

If you have any simple habits you’ve adopted to help out the homeless people in your community, or any advice to offer if you’ve been homeless yourself, please let us know in comments. And Happy Holidays, team!