You Spin Me Right Round

Last weekend, a little group of us went to see the Dance Along Nutcracker. It was exactly as it sounds: hundreds of little girls in fairy-princess costumes, and dozens of drag queens who had the same idea. Tutu rentals were $5 and worth every penny. There were toy soliders, and mice, and many a sugarplum fairy. There was also a woman who, inexplicably, took a length of pink tulle and tied a toy lamb to her head.

Checking In

In this month’s Esquire, Muhammad Ali says, “What you’re thinking is what you’re becoming.” When I shared this quote with Leslie she responded, “That’s chilling.” I’d have to agree. It’s about time to ponder the works of Mother Theresa. Or a Britney Spears video. We all have our own aspirations.

Voices

From “Pange Lingua” by Thomas Lynch:

This is the voice I talk to myself in.

The one that says, before I fall asleep,

the children will all grow up and outlive me;

my mother’s tumor will be benign;

the women who loved me will always love me.

Bourbon Cherries

For those of you who also have surplus maraschino cherries on your hands, Stace Dayment had a good tip for me:

“Dump out liquid and save for drinks/Shirley Temples. Fill back up with bourbon. Put in fridge until the next big party. Make frou-frou desserts with those cherries on top or, just serve the cherries alone.”

Leaving a Little Something

I was fast-forwarding through commercials the other day (thanks TiVo!) when I caught a nanosecond of a woman pole dancing. What the…? I stopped; rewound. Turns out it was a cheesy commercial for Centerfolds, a local strip joint. There were dozens of taut women pouting, gyrating, and otherwise seducing the home video camera. Their slogan, “Absolutely nothing is left to the imagination,” made me wonder when that became a selling point.

I’d Rather Be

We pause at a stoplight behind a car that has an enormous fish decal covering most of the back window.

Me: That guy loves fishin’.

B: He likes, killin’ ’em, cookin’ ’em, and stickin’ them on the back of his SUV.

Me: Where did he get that? Who thought, “You know what would be a big seller? A 3-foot-wide Rainbow Trout decal.”

B: Are you kidding? You’ve spent too much time in California. People have all kinds of shit like that on their cars.

Me: Is that true? Many people have large animal decals in their back windows?

B: Sure.

Me: Oh, America.

B: That’s why other countries are so jealous of us.

Me: The 3-foot fish decals?

B: The fish paraphernalia of all kinds. Fish decals, wooden fish models, fish oil paintings, great big beach towels with fish printed on them.

Me: Take that, world!

Cultural Tuesday

The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art has free admission on the first Tuesday of every month. This is your chance to see a lot of little kids in an overtly adult environment and overhear great stuff like, “MOM? That’s enough of my museum.” Right now, they’re having a photography exhibit by Diane Arbus. These are a few of my favorite photos:

Untitled (6): The best thing about this picture is the way the little girl on the right is cracking up.

Girl in a Shiny Dress: This woman has a lovely collarbone.

Masked Woman in a Wheelchair: This reminds me of my friend, Alli.

Boy with a Straw Hat Waiting to March in a Pro-War Parade: If you look closely at the smaller button on his lapel, it reads, “Bomb Hanoi.”

Pie

Last year, I pulled a list out of San Francisco Magazine, “125 Very Best Things to Eat in the Bay Area.” I recently came across it again and decided it was about time we started working our way through. In that spirit, we grabbed a couple of friends and headed an hour and a half south to Pescadero for Olallieberry pie at Duarte’s Tavern. Pie, we learned, is a superior theme for Saturday night. We also learned that if you’re looking for some post-meal protein to accentuate your pie and ice cream dinner, don’t go with the oysters.