Somehow one of the registries malfunctioned and we ended up with three meat tenderizers. Right now, Bryan is using them to play air drums in the kitchen.
Author: maggeh
Josh Cagan
Have you met Josh Cagan? He amuses me greatly:
On the movie Thirteen:
“Okay. Dig this. I have a thirteen year-old neice. I’m sure one of her friends is messed up. I’ll get her to confide in me, and then we’ll write an awesome screenplay about it! What better way to teach a troubled child the difference between right and wrong, than to reward her behavior with ALL OF THE MONEY, FAME, AND MEDIA EXPOSURE IN THE WORLD!!!
The completely awesome thing about that plan, is that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, is better for an emotionally damaged kid than turning them into a cautionary example/media wunderkind/eroticized child whore-pop SENSATION!!!!! Because the ads sure as shootin’ don’t show any repentant, seen-the-error-of-their-ways teenage girls, they show ROCKET HOT YOUNG DRUGGED UP NOT-EVEN-BARELY-LEGAL-POON-A-PALOOZA-CHICK-A-LICK-A-DING DONG!!!! HELLO!!!
So, three cheers, director. Attaboy, producers. Sorry, kid. Hope the sidewalk in front of the Viper Room is soft and warm.”
Nathan
Nate P., who is the kind of person you miss:
“When I was home in the Bay Area a couple of weeks ago for the wedding, I had dinner with a friend, and he asked me why it is I write this blog. “What’s the attraction?” he wanted to know. I can’t explain all of it, but I was able to finally stumble into the idea that blogging is in part a form of prayer…
Is it a bit scary to pray here, where others can read what’s going on? Yeah, but here’s the thing. I believe that God is found in each of us (panentheism), that each face is the face of God, and in my particular religion, the face of Christ. Bits of the God-spark live in each of us. By sometimes praying while writing and letting other people read it, I’m not praying to any of you out there. But we all may be the agents of change for each other, working out our lives with and for one another, helping to create the kingdom of God here on earth, in our lives.”
Lori Loo
Observation by Loriloo:
“Don’t Think That’s In The Book
Observed:
Overweight couple sharing a platter of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, each reading their own copy of Dr. Phil’s The Ultimate Weight Solution: 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom.”
EXPLODING DOG
How long has it been since you visited Exploding Dog:
Dong Resin
Dong Resin has a better tagline than you, “Speaking and removing all doubt. More funnyness:
“…My taxation suggestions for the Sunshine State :
Any insect larger than your head
Anything that big with that many hands has to have some form of currency on it. It probably has real estate holdings and a mistress. Tax that fuck.
Any dipshit with an “interesting pet”
By interesting, I mean any sad cry for attention that’s not a dog, cat, or bunny rabbit. Bunny rabbits are a pretty stupid pet too, but they get a pass because nobody takes them to the beach to try to get laid. I want people who try to make themselves interesting by harboring some stupid animal to pay extra for the privilege of being allowed to be that emotionally stunted and not be routinely hunted for sport…
And by “dog”, I mean a dog, not something that looks like Mr. Worf took a shit and decided to name it. Shih Tzus, Shar peis,.. anything I have to look up to spell properly, you fuckers have to pay the tax.
Wiggers
Any white kid who lives in a gated community but talks like Flavor Flav did when he was still on the rock has to pay $12,000 a year to the NAACP. $14,000 if he tires to intimidate people with it…”
“I see we’ve mapped out the genome structure of the poodle.
Naturally, I pray this will lead to some sort of cure.”
Happiest Day
We’re off to honeymoon in Asia, to return on November 1. While I’m away, please visit Mighty Girl for excerpts from my favorite blogs. Thanks for all the kind wishes and support, can’t wait to tell you all about it.
Fragments
Kevin Fanning’s Mitosis.
Jen Robbins’s Monster Bra. And her hilarious, touching rendition of “Summertime” at age five.
10.24.03 BLUE EYES
The Blue Eyes Magazine archives. You’ll like them.
Paul Ford’s Artifacts
Jesse Chan Norris
Photos by Jesse Chan Norris. They had no titles, so I named them because I needed a word to link:
Go Maggie
It’s my birthday! I turn twenty-eight this year. It’s been a very good year. Let’s celebrate with a little bitta Leslie Harpold.
Go read Leslie’s very short essays. Three of my favorites are excerpted and linked below.
To the woman who leapt out in front of me on Houston Street and jumped into the cab I had hailed, looking over her shoulder at me, saying “Survival of the fittest, sorry!” as she climbed in:
Fuck you. That was just rude.
“I am going to grab you by the collar, push my lips to your ear and whisper in my most murderous tone “I am not only a good girl I am the best good girl there is.”
“Fifty Things I Did Not Do This Weekend
“7. Build a model railroad to scale. I also did not build one not to scale.”
Mighty Girl 