Josh Cagan

4th November 2003

Have you met Josh Cagan? He amuses me greatly:

On the movie Thirteen:

“Okay. Dig this. I have a thirteen year-old neice. I’m sure one of her friends is messed up. I’ll get her to confide in me, and then we’ll write an awesome screenplay about it! What better way to teach a troubled child the difference between right and wrong, than to reward her behavior with ALL OF THE MONEY, FAME, AND MEDIA EXPOSURE IN THE WORLD!!!

The completely awesome thing about that plan, is that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, is better for an emotionally damaged kid than turning them into a cautionary example/media wunderkind/eroticized child whore-pop SENSATION!!!!! Because the ads sure as shootin’ don’t show any repentant, seen-the-error-of-their-ways teenage girls, they show ROCKET HOT YOUNG DRUGGED UP NOT-EVEN-BARELY-LEGAL-POON-A-PALOOZA-CHICK-A-LICK-A-DING DONG!!!! HELLO!!!

So, three cheers, director. Attaboy, producers. Sorry, kid. Hope the sidewalk in front of the Viper Room is soft and warm.”