The case for following Juila Galef on Twitter:
In Paris, we pass a toddler in the stroller with her mother’s purse, an exuberant square of red lipstick around her mouth. She shoves her tiny fist outside, bouncing the unfurled lipstick tube like a drum major’s baton. Her mother’s eyes widen.
The Problem with the What Else Mindset by Jocelyn Glei
“The only way to counteract the what else mindset is to regularly, proactively define what “enough” means to you.”
I ordered a pair of these handmade shoes, and they’re so lovely.
Also via Say Yes, this comic on how women tend to be the project managers at home, You Should’ve Asked. Mental and emotional workload is something my husband and I talk about, it such a useful concept for people in partnership to understand.
Congrats to Cam and Doug Bowman, who just launched Greater Ink, a T-shirt company that donates 25 percent of profits to organizations like the ACLU, Lawrence Hall of Science, and the United Way. I got Science Matters shirts for the boys, and a Resist shirt for myself.
And our design consultancy Tall West published some nerd work over on Medium, “All Thumbs, Why Reach Navigation Should Replace the Navbar in iOS Design.”
Also, what kind of palms are these, does anyone know?
Hi. This isn’t an ad, it’s a thing I use.
I bought an iRing because my friend Ian had one on his phone, and I was covetous.
It’s so useful, I can’t believe everyone doesn’t own one. I mostly use it to stabilize my phone grip when I’m taking photos, but it has saved me from dropping my phone so many times I can’t count.
When it arrives, you pull off a sticky backing a stick it to your phone or case. I’d stick it to a case, because they’re tough to remove otherwise. I don’t love the giant branding, so I’ve been looking at knockoffs and these look pretty good, but the original works and holds up so well that I’ve become a little brand loyal.
Anyway, the little ring part is on a 360-degree swivel, so it only takes a second to make it comfortable, and you can also use the ring as a very stable stand if you want to watch a movie or something. It also comes with a car mount so you can hang it from your dash for navigation and podcasting needs.
I use it every day and it’s perfect. Love, Maggie
Happy weekend! I have actual butterflies today, because next week Brad and I leave for a trip to Paris with just the two of us! It’s Brad’s birthday present, and also a delayed honeymoon now that our littlest guy is older. Our weekend is a hectic haze of packing, and cleaning, writing lunch notes, recording bedtime stories, a baseball game and post-game party. On Mother’s Day, we’re having a steak dinner prepped by the 10yo, which is part of our in-house grownup lessons. He’s coming right along. Some links for your weekend:
Did you see this thread about the white lady who just wants to get ghost-murdered in a nice porcelain bathtub?
I think about this flamingo wallpaper. I think about it.
This was surprisingly time-consuming to find, so I’m putting it here. Long and short sleeved swim shirts for kids in lots of colors, with no stupid logos, or sports numbers, or dubiously feminist assertions written by people who still think feminism is a little taboo and edgy. Just a plain swim shirt that matches your kid’s bathing suit. So they can go swimming. If you find cheaper ones, hit me up.
This cotton candy dress is so cheerful, and it would travel so well.
Also, I ordered this $12 nude dress to wear as a slip, because basic cotton slips are a bear to find. And speaking of bears…
It’s Insane that Anyone Goes Camping “Outside is where bugs live. You’re in the bugs’ house now.”
“What it’s like to be the fat person sitting next to you on the plane.” I sat next to someone who was a bit too big for her seat on a plane recently, and she held her arms pulled up in front of her for the entire flight so she wouldn’t invade my seat more than strictly necessary. It must have been so uncomfortable, possibly even painful, and I was at such a loss about how to ease the situation for both of us. In retrospect, vodka.
A happy gif.
A gym in the UK is offering napping classes, so you can catch up on sleep but truthfully tell coworkers you’re going to the gym. More people should do this.
Nomadic gardener rents out people’s yards to grow produce, which he then sells at local farmers markets and to shops. Genius.
On Facebook, I asked for the one thing you wouldn’t miss in Paris, and I’d love to know yours.
Update on yesterday’s post about Rebecca Woolf’s upcoming movie PANS: What the what? Huge thanks to those of you who have donated so far! With your help, Bex met the goal of 100 new supporters within a few hours. So quickly that the film backer offered an additional $5K if she can make it to 700 supporters by end of day today (Friday, May 12). This level of interest gives PANS a huge boost in the film community. More lady writers, producers, directors! The shift is starting, because of you. Thank you so much.
Did you ever want someone to succeed so badly that you get chills thinking about it? Rebecca is making a movie, and I want this for her. I want it so much my eyes are welling as I type.
Bex and I met almost a decade ago through the Internet, filming Momversation videos together. Remember those?
I still cringe a little about that name, but neither of us was gonna turn down a pay check. Plus, those cheesy pre-taped conversations about post-baby bodies and keeping marriage spicy brought me one of my dearest friends.
When Bex graduated high school, she was already a writer. She worked for the Chicken Soup series, specifically Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, and she already knew words were her thing. She was raised to be strong and independent, and it took. She told her very educated family that she wasn’t going to college. This went over well, as you might imagine, but Bex had a wild streak and wanted to get started on her life.
She was writing! She was wild! She was pregnant.
A baby was not part of the plan, but Bex and her not-boyfriend Hal made a new plan. They married at a drive-thru chapel in Las Vegas, just in time for their son Archer’s arrival.
Archer is an old soul, sweet and chill, with a head full of thoughts beyond his years.
A few years later, Fable was born with Rebecca’s eyes and artistic sensibility.
Fable promptly covered herself in Elmer’s Glue and pen marks, and began hoarding decorative paper and stick-on gems.
Bex and I became friends when she was in her twenties, sharing rooms at conferences and smoking a single cigarette on the balcony at night.
We’ve sat on stoops in New York, jumped on hotel beds in Salt Lake City, clinked plastic cups of free wine in Florida.
She met me in Austin when I was newly divorced, patted my back and told me to get laid.
We eventually met each others’ families, and introduced our kids. A couple years after Fable was born Bex and Hal thought a third baby wouldn’t be a bad idea. I was boarding a plane when I read online that Bex was pregnant …with twins. The news hit me in the sternum. I called from the jetway.
“I am freaking out,” she said. “I am so scared.”
“Ok, girl. What do you need?”
So we talked about ways to get her more writing gigs, to get paid better, to get her on some campaigns.
Boheme and Reverie arrived just as Bex turned thirty, one with a head of blond curls, the other with a dark shag of Muppet hair.
Bo’s trust is hard earned, and her brain shines right out her eyes. Revvie is all nurture and encouragement.
Just like their mom.
Rebecca’s already impressive hustle shifted to high gear. As a mother of four, I have rarely seen her rest.
Through it all — sleepless nights, epic tantrums, the sheer logistical bullshit of getting four kids to all the places on time — Bex was writing a screenplay.
I didn’t know this until it was almost done.
Most mothers who write have no time for unpaid work. You find it at unholy hours. You settle in to the keyboard at 3 a.m., because you’re pregnant with twins and there’s not enough room in your own skin. You’re awake at 1 a.m. because you had five cups of coffee to get through laundry, and homework, and peanut butter sandwiches, and bedtime stories for four. So you find a pen and hope you’ll get two or three hours of sleep before your kids wake with the sun.
The projects pulled from quiet, bone-weary moments are private — too fragile to bear scrutiny. So I was surprised, and humbled, when Bex told me she’d been working on a script. I asked if I could read it when she was done.
“Do you really want to?”
A few months later, we were leaving from a family visit. I had a twin clinging to each of my legs when Bex beckoned me to the desk in her guest room. Next to a cork board covered in pages from old Sassy magazines, she handed me her screenplay.
It seemed like a miracle. How?
But there it was, 110 pages warm from the home printer. Two years later, I’m still in awe.
CHANGING THE RATIO
“In 2014, 85% of films had no female directors, 80% had no female writers, 33% had no female producers, 78% had no female editors, and 92% had no female cinematographers.” (source)
This movie is Rebecca’s purpose, the thing that kept her up working in the dark while her babies slept. And right now, she’s filming it.
Rebecca’s movie is a reimagining of Peter Pan, set in the modern era and narrated from Wendy’s perspective. In PANS, “Wendy reclaims her power after being stripped of it by an assaulter and her female community who don’t believe her side of the story.”
As Bex puts it euphemistically on her Kickstarter page, “Raising money to fund a film about teenage girls rebelling against the nuances of rape culture is a bit of a challenge.” Ha.
But Bex is making it go. And she is freaking out. And she is scared.
“Ok, girl. What do you need?”
The PANS Kickstarter is an all-or-nothing campaign. That means, if Bex fails to raise $100K, she gets none of the $37,000 that has already been offered. Which makes me feel a little like throwing up.
Last night, a film backer offered to donate $5,000 if we can bring in 100 new backers by Friday evening.
I know a lot of you have read Rebecca’s site. If she’s ever made you laugh or tear up or think, now is the right time to send some gratitude back her way.
Bex needs $63,000 more to pay the actors, the crew, everyone working to make this movie real. So here’s how we can help:
• Fund Rebecca’s Kickstarter, because money is power and women need more of both
• Help change the ratio in film by telling your people about the PANS Kickstarter on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, whatever you got.
• Maybe hit the thumbs up on Pan’s Facebook page if you want to keep up
Let’s do this. Let’s listen to each other, and help each other be heard.
I love you Bex. Ride or die.
UPDATE: What the what? Huge thanks to those of you who have donated so far! With your help, Bex met the goal of 100 new supporters within a few hours. So quickly that the film backer offered an additional $5K if she can make it to 700 supporters by end of day today (Friday, May 12). This level of interest gives PANS a huge boost in the film community. More lady writers, producers, directors! The shift is starting, because of you. Thank you so much.
Happy weekend, nice people. What are you up to? Hank’s baseball team is in the playoffs (hooray, Hank’s team!), and a friend of ours organized a kid-friendly evening of s’mores. Doesn’t that sound cozy? Sunday is the Alameda Flea, which we may actually skip because I think we’re at stuff-capacity. But they have Kettle Corn there, so don’t hold me to it. Here are some links for you to click on:
Two things via Ashley C. Ford, who you should follow on the Twitters:
– This brief video of Kim Cattrall made my eyes water with discomfort.
– And what it would sound like if Michael Jackson recorded trap music
An update on yesterday’s post: Because of you, Rebecca met her grant challenge
This toddler suit is the best.
The blushing nail trend is pretty.
PoopQuest — your stool diary is a weirdly pretty and charming app, and just the ticket if you have a toddler with a scatologic obsession.
Flat-chested rich ladies, I have found another bikini for you!
What are you thinking about, little duck?
I came across a good guiding question recently in Career Advice for Undergrads. It’s a succinct way to put something I think about a lot:
“First, what is the most interesting thing going on in the world right now? Second, how can I put myself at the center of that?”
Isn’t that good? I so want to know what fascinates you right now. I’ll go first.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how our workforce is being changed by robots. I wonder how can we best evolve as a world community when robots can do most of our heavy lifting.
This is already happening, obviously. Robots have taken over lots of the old assembly jobs, even lots of the new customer service work that used to be done by phone banks.
So how can we be sure everyone has meaningful work so all of us are fed, have clean water, have access to education, and feel included in society? We need to re-train our workforce so we use the things about us that are uniquely human. It seems like we can create engaging work for people, work that could bring us up a step or two on Maslow’s Hierarchy and raise our global well being, but it’s such a huge undertaking.
I also think about the dark side of this, specifically whether we’ve been too radical about using drones and other tech to sanitize war, thereby making peace a less palatable option. Blurft.
OK, your turn. What’s the most interesting thing in the world right now? It doesn’t have to be a big deal to anyone else, maybe just an artist who’s blowing your mind, or a field you want to know more about. I’m more curious about the quirky individuality of it. I am also game to talk more about robots. Your call.
Let’s all live in Muji Huts and have tea together in the yard.
Have you used the new Pinterest-like feature on Instagram? It lets you categorize your Instagram bookmarks into boards. They’re private for now, but I assume the option to make them public is coming.
Pretty disposable water bottle design.
5 Ways to Teach Kids About Consent is simple, useful parenting advice.
“The 25 Most Useful French Phrases I Learned While Studying in France”
Sweet gift for a writer.
Good tool if you’re feeling anxious: The Catastrophe Checklist (20-30 seconds)
Side eye at this coat that functions as an extra suitcase. The poor flight attendants who have to assess your threat level when you’re walking like you have a bunch of electronic equipment inside your clothes. Nope.
Who does this little girl grow up to be? Gah! Babies, you’re the best.