There are upsides to being single on Valentine’s Day. No bullshit underwear, and you get to pick your own present.
Heartbeats Necklaces, $55
Damn right you like the life you live.
Guest Toothbrush Set, $12
You burn Palo Santo to clear bad juju, create space for good luck, and invite something new. Say, here comes something new right now. Good thing you have a spare toothbrush.
Bartleby Shirt, $15
You’re not picky, you’re particular.
Delivered to your doorstep 12 times a year. Service.
Ebony Corkscrew, $24
A grown-up corkscrew to go with the very expensive wine you’ll be enjoying tonight.
No pants, my friend. No pants alllll day long.