Bite Me, Valentine’s Day: A Gift Guide

There are upsides to being single on Valentine’s Day. No bullshit underwear, and you get to pick your own present.

Heartbeats Necklaces, $55

Damn right you like the life you live.

Guest Toothbrush Set, $12

Be prepared.

Morphologically Palo Santo Grounding Aromatic Wood, $20

You burn Palo Santo to clear bad juju, create space for good luck, and invite something new. Say, here comes something new right now. Good thing you have a spare toothbrush.

Bartleby Shirt, $15

You’re not picky, you’re particular.

Olympic Provisions Salami of the Month Club, $145

Delivered to your doorstep 12 times a year. Service.

Ebony Corkscrew, $24

A grown-up corkscrew to go with the very expensive wine you’ll be enjoying tonight.

Cotton Spandex Jersey High-Waist Hot Short, $22

No pants, my friend. No pants alllll day long.

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Up Yours, Valentine’s Day: A Gift Guide
Gift Guide | Valentine’s Day
Gift Guide | Nerd Valentine

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