21 thoughts on “Momversation: Post Baby Body

  1. M

    So if I never decide to have children, I will always remain a girl, and never become a woman? Seems a little unfair.

    I understand she is trying to comment on the remarkable change that occurs, but a different phrase would be nice.

  2. Maggeh Post author

    Yeah, I thought that was kinda funny too, especially considering how many people adopt and have infertility issues. I didn’t see her whole video, so I’m not sure if that was edited strangely or what. I agree that she was probably just caught up in the body-focus of the conversation, and wasn’t thinking about how that phrase would touch a nerve for lots of women.

  3. Maire

    Re: #1 and #2 comments: my thoughts exactly. I mean, also, really? My body changed a lot after age 25 or so. Not for the worse– it just took on a slightly different shape, and no babies here. It was around that time I realized what I’d look like as a woman. That said, I get what she trying to say– but it didn’t come out right for the childless among us. Also, Maggeh, Hank’s birthday decorations are so sweet. I love the truck garland! So adaptable. Keep rockin.

  4. Lori

    You said vajango. LOL. That made me laugh out loud. This was the most fantastic discussion. All of it is true, in particular the ‘topography’ comments. I was quite surprised to discover the new landscape post birth. Thanks for yet again talking about unspeakables. Loved the guest vlogger as well.

  5. sue

    @M –

    To be fair, I think the woman in the video was referring to physical changes only.

    As the mom of three, I can relate to this momversation. Although I look fit and “girlish” in most (outward) physical characteristics, the changes to the landscape (as I believe Maggie referred to them) are really hard to comes to grips with sometimes.

  6. darcy

    I think that being a woman is a state of mind not the state of the Vagina.

    The title of the post at Momversation was”Are you ok with your post baby body?
    My answer to that is NO, I don’t dig my marsupial pouch that will not go away no matter the AB-Work-outs, and also, I want my old boobs back, I love all 3 of my girls with a the passion of a mother bear, but not the lived in and roomy body I am left with..

  7. S.E.

    what about those of us who have a post-baby body without ever having had a baby? i’m only 27 but i have a little fat pooch that won’t ever go away (is it waiting for the babies? ‘cuz they’re not coming..), and i have large boobs that have definitely discovered that gravity exists beyond the age of about 22 and 23. nevermind the stretchmarks from when i used to be heavier, but then lost weight. so…yeah. i sometimes wish that i at least had some cute little curly-haired tot running around to blame for my bodily woes, but, alas, my offspring isn’t a mobile fudge brownie.

  8. E.G.W.

    I also sort of reject the notion that any woman can respond to another woman’s body image issues by saying that those are issues that just don’t need to be obsessed about – if body image is something not every woman struggles with, that’s wonderful, but that doesn’t make those issues invalid for other women.

  9. Kimberly

    I wrote three paragraphs in response to Blonde Mom’s girl/woman statement. But since I’m not Momversation’s target audience, so I deleted all but the last 2 sentences.

    Maggie, I love that necklace! And I’ll trade you the snow we had here in the Northeast yesterday so I can wear sleeveless outfits in February/March!

  10. latenac

    I can understand being a little put off by the girl to woman comment. However, with our youth obsessed society, I took the comment to mean more, “You need to deal with the fact that everything in your body got shoved around while you were pg and really you’re never going to have the body of a 17 year old again and that’s not a bad thing, that’s called progressing through life.” If she had said the ONLY way to become a woman is by having kids, I would be offended. But I think she was more trying to empower women who have body issues after having kids. I would hope she has a different speech for her daughter when she develops body issues as a teenager.

  11. HMH

    at 6 months pregs, i gotta say i pressed play on this with a little trepidation. affirming, though. i’m already finding a few body issues pop up with stepping on the scale and seeing an extra 20lbs, but i’m also loving the extra roundness and fullness and just going with it. truly.

  12. Maggeh Post author

    HMH, I’m glad to hear you say that, because I loved how I looked pregnant too. I just found the whole thing hilarious and amazing. Pregnancy was a lovely time for my body in lots of ways.

    S.E., exactly. Women have such complex relationships with their bodies. One five minute video isn’t going to begin to scratch the surface.

    Kimberly, I appreciate your restraint. High fives all around.

  13. Anne

    The minute I heard the girl/woman comment I thought, “Uh-oh. There will soon be a Hitler reference!”

    I agree with the above commentator who thought she was only trying to empower birthing moms about their bodies. Could she have been a little more sensitive to women who didn’t give birth? Sure. But I’ll cut her some slack.

  14. rubydellson

    I would love for you to elaborate on the “topography” comment, Maggie. I am 6 month preggo w/ first. Please spell it out for me. I want to be prepared. :)

  15. Lauren

    waiiiit a minute…. what do you mean the topography changes? what are we talking here? I know that’s asking for graphic details. But that is where my record skipped and im like WHO?! And is the sex afterwards just different? Or what? Is there lost sensation? What’s the sitch?

  16. denise

    yes, as someone who hasn’t had kids, what is the topography change? isn’t there a “tightening up” thing they can do when stitching up the episiotomy? (sp?)

  17. Maggeh Post author

    Alllllllright, y’all. This is what I get for trying to be delicate.

    First, I should say that, for me, sex afterward isn’t really different, so maybe don’t bother worrying about that unless it happens. In fact, pregnancies are like fingerprints, no two are the same, so don’t bother worrying about _any_ of it unless it happens.

    The topography euphemism was meant to convey that your outward-facing parts sometimes look different afterward. You swell a lot giving birth, and lots of women end up with stitches, so the outside of your vagina (the parts you can see by holding a mirror up to your crotch) can look and feel different. Sort of like if you didn’t order a nose job, but woke up with a new nose. Except it’s your vagina.

    I think it was so upsetting to me because the area has enough nerve endings that millimeters of difference felt really exaggerated. Sort of like how the nerves in your mouth react to tiny changes in your teeth or how a tiny, sore bump on your tongue can feel so huge.

    Overall, pregnancy and labor weren’t nearly so big a deal as I expected, I wasted a lot of energy worrying. But I was grateful to the friend who mentioned the topography possibility, because I didn’t feel alone and freakish when it happened.

    Now, if it happens to you, you won’t either right? Right!

  18. Sarah

    Loved your segments — overall very entertaining piece. I also REALLY appreciate that you went “there”. (Especially after reading the shock and horror reactions in a couple of the comments above.) I only wish someone had mentioned this to me 5 years ago. It seems like it would be valuable information to know, in advance, that “she” would soon be someone else afterward. I swear, up until my daughter was about 2, my vajayjay was practically a stranger to me. It took seemingly forever to understand (or even recognize) her again — and I’m still not 100% familiar. I understood and accepted that there’d be hordes of physical, psychological and physiological changes, but I never imagined needing to be reintroduced to my very own nethers… Thanks so much for divulging the truth for the rest of us!

  19. Ruth

    i have had conversations like this sprung on me from my cousin, sister, and mother-in-law.

    as someone who is not pregnant but is hoping to have a family some day, sometimes hearing about the horrors of pregnancy, birth, and childcare seem to be part of an elaborate biological hazing process. oh what? you think baby socks are adorable? let me tell you about the difference between cutting and ripping, and which is better. and why you should have a breast pump on the top of your baby list. early. still this onesy is cute? yeah. thought so.

    ech…part of me just doesn’t want to know.

  20. anna

    Though I’m not ready to have a child yet, I click on the Momversations because I’m interested in Maggie’s viewpoint. Then, I have to sit through the blonde woman, who always manages to annoy me; I hit mute until she’s gone. Anyway, it would be great if Maggie just did a stand-alone (sit-alone?).

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