Subject: Dave responds to an inquiry about his health.


Yes, I feel much better today. I’m not sniffling and sneezing anymore, but I
do have a splitting headache. Also, I saw these strange lights in the sky
last night, my bedroom window is broken, I woke up on the balcony, and my
ass is on fire. Weird.

12:26 p.m.

I have messy party ideas. Example 1: Cover the garage in plastic bags, make about 300 pounds of mashed potatoes, pass out some goggles, and stage a massive food fight. Example 2: Make a mud hole in the back yard and pit my friends against each other in teams. Very few parties I’ve been to couldn’t use a little more texture. But I know what you’re thinking, it’s the same thing all my friends say. “You want to have mud wrestling in your backyard? You want a bunch of people to come over and smear food on each other?” Yes. Yes, I do. All of us are adults here. (Adults coated in a creamy layer of mud and mashed potatoes, but I think we know when to say when.) Anyway, my point is that marker fights sound just as cool. A lot less cleanup and no kinky undertones.(Via Strange Brew.)

9:52 a.m.