Archive for November, 2005

In search of a portable blender, Josh calls information for REI contact info:
-What city?
-San Francisco.
-Listing?
-REI
-What�s that?
-R-E-I.
-Can you spell that?
-ARR-EEEE-EYE
-Oh! What does that stand for?
-Really�egalatarian�icicles. (hangs up)

A young girl dies of a kiss.

This page lists dozens of ways to bypass voice response systems, and it reminded me of a trick my friend Jeff shared with me a while ago. It doesn�t work for every system, but when it does, it�s glorious. It goes like this:
Robot: Please press one to access your account, press two to�
Me: Fuck. […]

The best parts of The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood:
��Good egg,� he says. Small things like good eggs delight him, small things like bad eggs depress him. He�s easy to please, but difficult to protect.�
�West is not the tool-using type, though: the only hammer in the house belongs to Tony, and for anything […]

The best part of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon:
��time is not like space. And when you put something down somewhere, like a protractor or a biscuit, you can have a map in your head to tell you where you have left it, but even if you […]

Sharks
Originally uploaded by MaggieMason.
I have not, historically, been a risk taker. Try this new television show? OK. Choose a new breakfast cereal? Maybe. Strap a bungee cord to my ankle and leap face-first into a pool of asphalt? I�ll be hiding the coat closet.
Of course, I�m not saying that I should be jumping from […]

Something about Belize�the soft air, the magical quality of the light, the beer for breakfast–made us more susceptible to awful puns.
Erin would tell a story, Rachel would exclaim, �That�s un-Belize-able!� and we�d all collapse in riotous laughter. As we passed a vacation home named Maya House, I adopted an Italian accent, �That�s-a my-a house!� Woo-hoo! […]

Uhhhh.
Originally uploaded by MaggieMason.
Pensive or hung over? You be the judge.
I’m sorry for the silence in my absence. My substitute poster thought I was sending a word file, but I had saved the entries as drafts. Anyway, that means extra-bonus entries for the next few days.
Belize and Guatemala were amazing.If you want to see the […]