Archive for June, 2004

Dear Boston,
Why are you walking so close to me? It’s just you, and me, and this vast stretch of lonely sidewalk that empties into the horizon. I have my dance space, you have your dance space, and yet you’re always all up in my dance space, Boston. What it is with you? You are walking […]

After work, we head out for dinner. Conversation turns to the convention.
Pal 1: Who do you want for VP?
Pal 2: My money’s on Edwards.
Pal 3: Yeah. But you know what bugs me about Edwards? He bends at the wrist when he’s making a fist.
P1: What?
P3: You know, when he makes […]

I go downstairs to take my security photo. The result is not flattering. The security guy looks it over.
SG: You know, I’m sure you hear this all the time. You look just like that one lady.
Me: … No. Which lady?
SG: The first lady?
Me: Laura Bush?
SG: Nooo! From a long time ago. […]

So, I’ve worked with interns and “assistants” before. You know the ones. The ones who are reduced to tears because the copy machine needs toner. The ones who surf the Web all day, because their mom is your boss and you can’t fire them anyway. The overeager ones who want to take on important projects, […]

I’ve slept two of the last 48 hours. About an hour ago, I realized that I needed to start concentrating on breathing, because I seemed to be forgetting here and there. Also, I’ve had pizza three meals in a row.
Last night, I flew in on a red eye to Boston. I unpacked my ridiculously large […]

My hosting service sends out a monthly newsletter. This month, the hosting service decided to start supporting a worthy cause, and they’re enthusiastic about it. I know because the newsletter reads:
“New DreamHost Charity: Leukemia!”
Apparently, Leukemia is something we should all be excited about.

Every Sunday this month, everything at the Goodwill thrift store is 50 percent off. I wait about fifteen minutes for a dressing room. Before I get in, the clerk clears everything out. Everything, that is, except for a single boot. That boot is in the corner, soaking in a puddle of urine. I notice it […]

Scenario: The Starbucks near Bryan’s office features Overzealous Counter Guy.
OCG: How’s your weekend? Not long enough, huh?
Woman: No, I guess not.
OCG: Yeah, me too. What can I get ya?
W: Do you have any lowfat muffins?
OCG: Aw. We’re out… Why not an apple fritter?
(Woman shakes her head.)
OCG: Awww, come on.
(Woman shakes her head.)
OCG: You sure? You […]

I remember sitting in class as a child and thinking to myself, “It’s 1981, I’m in kindergarten, and Ronald Reagan is president.”
I didn’t know then what being president meant, and President Reagan was a symbol to me, like our flag. I associate him with the part of me that still tears up when I hear […]

Best headlines from this month’s Martha Stewart Living:

Frosting Like a Pro
Mum Pillow Covers
Setting a Course By the Homemaker’s Star
Embellish Envelopes