Famous among dozens
A group of old guys meets at the corner coffee shop every morning around 7 a.m. Today, they discussed pop culture:
Old Guy 1: Do you like the “Cybil”? The T.V. show? “Cybil”?
OG2:They’re not making it any more.
OG3: It’s in syndication.
OG1: No, it’s on the Oxygen.
OG2: Who’s on oxygen?
All: Heheheheheheheheheheh.
OG2: Ohhhh Lord.
Boy 1: Where are you from?
Me: San Francisco.
Boy 1: I’ve visited San Francisco.
Boy 2: Is that a euphemism?
Hey, Dave. Sup?
Absolutely
Pizza, light cheese? I’m down. (Turns to friend.) You down with pizza, light cheese? (Friend nods)
We’re down
Kay. Cool, dude
Peace
3.5.02 OVERHEARD: LOVE IN A TIME OF…
Scenario: A young man and woman discuss two mutual acquaintances who’ve just had a romantic rendezvous.
Him: He’s dirty.
Her: Dirty?
Him: Dirdy birdy.
Her: Uh-oh. Someone’s gonna be fightin the fungus.
Scenario: Two young men walking to work. One is wearing leather pants; the other, sport sandals and a baseball cap.
Guy 1: Did I tell you that you can park over there for ten bucks? Right there. All day.
Guy 2: Shit. That’s a good reason to get a car.
Guy 1: Yeah it is.
Scenario: Two girls working at a bead store on the Haight.
Girl 1: The weirdest thing happed to me a few days ago. There’s this bum, right?
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: And we start talking, and he says, Do you mind if I ask you something? and I’m all, Sure. So he’s like, Are you on your period?
Girl 2: GROSS!
Girl 1: I know! I’m like, None of your business, pervo.
Girl 2: Seriously.
Girl 1: Yeah But the weird thing was, I was.
Girl 2: On your period?
Girl 1: Yeah.
Girl 2 :Sick!
Girl 1:Isn’t that sick?
Girl 2: Well, how did he know?
Girl 1: I don’t know.
Girl 2: Weird. I wonder how he knew.
Girl 1: Yeah.
2:54 p.m.
JUNIOR HIGH SEXUAL POLITICS, OVERHEARD
Boy: Most guys think, If I could put my power drive up in her, that’d be alright.
Shiny Shirt Girl: What if he’s just not interested in doing it because he’s only 15?
Boy: Then he’s not a guy.
Shiny Shirt Girl: 15?!
Girl in Pigtails: I hate to say it, but I have to agree with George on this one.
5:15 p.m.
FASHION STATEMENT
While flipping through a magazine, I come across a one-panel cartoon that depicts �Afgani women�s wear� as though it were being sold at the Gap. The old woman sitting next to me on the bus points at the cartoon.
Her: I want to buy one of those.
Me: A chador?
Her: A burqa.
Me: Really?
Her: Sure. You never have to worry about how your hair looks, or if you�re getting wrinkly. You don�t have to do your nails.
Me: I suppose that’s true.
Man across from us: They never go out of style.
Her: Exactly. Exactly!
5:15 p.m.
OVERHEARD
Man: So, how’ve you been?
Woman: Good, you?
M: Not so good, our dog is sick again.
W: Oh, no!
M: Yeah, took him to the vet and he needs back surgery.
W: Wow.
M: Yeah, he’s been limping around. He’s 12 years old, so he’s getting on. They’re only supposed to live until they’re about 14. We just spent $600 on his eye problem. Mike and I share expenses for him. This surgery is going to be $4,000.
W: Oh my gosh! What are you going to do?
M: Go ahead with it. What can we do? The vet says most people put the dog down.
W: How terrible.
M: I know! We can’t do that. We’re just trying to give her a little more time.
W: Sure.
M: If the surgery doesn’t work, we’ll try acupuncture or something.
W: They have that for doggies?
M: Oh suuuure!
5:15 p.m.
FRIEND’S A FRIEND
Overheard
Scenario: Three coworkers commute through the financial district.
Guy 1: Bunch of us went over to Tonic last night.
Guy 2: Yeah, who?
Guy 1: Me, and Jason, and Mark and them.
Guy 2: No Chet?
Guy 1: Chet never goes out with us after work.
Guy 2: He’s got some weird kind of personal life going on.
Guy 1: Yeah?
Guy 2: Like knows a bunch of people from college who live around here or something.
Guy 1: Huh. Did Jenn tell you that she met her Internet friend last night?
Jenn: (Warning tone.) Simmer down.
Guy 1: Friend’s a friend, Jenn.
Guy 2: Friends are fun, Jenn.
Jenn: (Stony silence as she flips through Land’s End catalogue.)
Jenn: …Maybe I’ll get a pair of fleece pants.
Guy 1: Why?
Jenn: For Minnesota.
Guy 1: You’re going to buy a pair of pants for a week-long trip?
Jenn: Yeah. Why not?
Guy 1: (Presumably pointing at a Hawiaan shirt.) That’s good for Fridays.
Guy 2: I stand firm that flowers on a shirt do not make it crazy. You know?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: Like you can’t just wear a Hawaiian shirt and call it a “crazy shirt.”
Guy 1: I guess.
2:21 p.m.
Mighty Girl 