It’s the Shoes

During the two hours we meeted and greeted, Heather stood in these shoes:

In fact, she’d been wearing them since noon, when we left the hotel to present. She did not whine a single time, and only whimpered once.

So the next time you find yourself wondering why you can’t pay your mortgage with your Internet Website, don’t ask yourself where you’d find ten hours a day to take photos of suburban life, balance batteries on your dog’s head, and write detailed essays about Al Roker’s nipples. Ask yourself whether you’d be willing to stand in 5 inch heels for seven hours while greeting 200 people you don’t know.

Next time I present somewhere, I’m wearing 15″ lucite stilettos. I apologize in advance if my feet bleed on you.

Coming to Canada

Are you in Canada right now? OK, stay there for a minute. I’ll be right up.

I’m speaking at Vidfest with Heather Armstrong. (Whose name, incidentally, I can never type without thinking, “Arm strong, feel arm! Heather strong, like ox!” But I digress.)

It’s taken me thirty-two years to get up to Canada, and I cannot wait. Everyone tells me how gorgeous Vancouver is, and how no one locks their doors. As you might imagine, I’m excited to walk around trying all the doors and photographing what’s inside.

While we’re there, my very helpful husband Bryan, arranged a meet-and-greet for me and Heather, and you should come because I want to meet you. Also, if you have one of my books, I will write something nice inside.

Friday night, May 23rd
5-7 p.m.

Dockside Brewing Company
behind the Granville Island Hotel
1253 Johnston Street
Granville Island, Vancouver B.C.V6h 3R9

(Google Map)

Please join us.

In other news, regular readers may remember that “Cross the Canadian border” is one of the items on my Mighty Life list (lower left sidebar if you haven’t seen it). The offer to speak at Vidfest was one of the slightly uncanny things that happened right after I posted the list. I’ll tell you about the rest of it later. In the meantime, if anyone has a boat that needs christening, you know who to call.

Litterary Figure

Heather just published her very first book, Things I Learned About My Dad (in therapy). It’s a collection of essays about fatherhood, and if you ever wondered how I feel about my dad, mine’s in there too. As is Alice’s. In fact, her essay about fatherhood and Star Wars also appeared in this month’s Wondertime magazine. (That’s why I have an 8.5″ x 11″ photo of Alice dressed as Princess Leia stuck to the side of our fridge. Also, one in my night stand drawer, but I digress.)

I’m excited for Heather right now, because I know something very big is about to happen. Sometime soon, a stranger will ask what she does. Instead of saying, “Well… do you read… like… how do I put this. Uh, I’m a blogger?” she can look them straight in the eye and say, “I’m a writer.”

And a damn good one too.