Life List Idea: Eat a Beautiful Meal Alone

I’ve eaten alone at restaurants a few times. Twice I was in New York after the long flight from San Francisco made me too irritable for companionship, but too hungry to sleep.

I rarely think to feed myself well when I’m alone — it seems indulgent. Before my most recent trip to New York, I’d slept maybe two hours in as many days. My plan was to drop luggage, shovel Chipotle at my face, and succumb to the impending stroke.

In my search for fast food, I happened on Gramercy Tavern. It looked so quiet and merciful, I went inside.

Anna was my waitress; she asked me how I was. I told her I’d just flown in, and she welcomed me back home, which seemed about right. My exhaustion made everything acute, kinder than usual.

I ordered a warm tomato salad to start, then the fish. The tomatoes had been softened in a small blessing of bacon fat. I finished both plates by tearing off a bite of bread, spearing it with my fork, and sopping up the sauce.

Dessert was a peculiar sundae, the first night of the summer they were serving it, and it was a busy night for Anna because regulars had been waiting. On the back page of my novel, I recorded its components:

Blueberry Corn Ice Cream Sundae
• sweet corn ice cream
• blueberry compote with whole corn kernels
• fresh blueberries
• caramel popcorn
• unsweetened whipped cream

As a kid, I lived in a house with a Verbena tree near the front door, and it smelled of lemons when you brushed against it. So I ordered the Verbena tisane, and finished another chapter of my book.

Everything tasted compassionate, specific to me. I assume meals like that are why people become chefs, to leave people feeling cared for and well fed. I did.

You should have one of these nights too. Add it to your Life List: Take yourself out to dinner. And when the day arrives, sit down at your table knowing you’re in good company.

Would you ever eat alone?

If you like this post, you might also like my roundup of 100 Things Worth Doing:
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Chilling Conversations with a Five Year Old

Hank: Do you think there’s life on Mars? Some people think so.
Me: I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m sure there’s life somewhere else besides Earth. What do you think?
Hank: I don’t really know. I’m not sure how life is formed.
Me: No one is really.
Hank: The computers know.

The Best Parts of Blue Nights by Joan Didion

My favorite parts of Blue Nights, Joan Didion’s memoir on her daughter Quintana’s death.

Do not whine, I write on an index card. Do not complain. Work harder. Spend more time alone.

I have watched tears flood the eyes of grown women, loved women, women of talent and accomplishment, for no reason other than that a small child in the room, more often than not an adored niece or newphew, as just described them as “wrinkly,” or asked how old they are.

It was a time of my life during which I actually believed that somewhere between frying the chicken to serve on Sara Mankiewicz’s Minton dinner plates and buying the Porthault parasol to shade the beautiful baby girl in Saigon I had covered the main “motherhood” points.

The very definition of success as a parent has undergone a telling transformation: we used to define success as the ability to encourage the child to grow into independent (which is to say into adult) life, to “raise” the child, to let the child go.

A doctor to whom I occasionally talk suggests that I have made an inadequate adjustment to aging.
Wrong, I want to say.
In fact I have made no adjustment whatsoever to aging.

My mother’s name was already on the marble wall at St. John the Divine.
John’s name was already on it.
There had been two spaces remaining, the names not yet engraved.
Now there was one.

Vocabulary
baffle (n.) Something that balks, checks, or deflects.

Weekend Soundtrack: Yeah? Yeah. Mix

The last few weeks have been concentrated, so packed that I haven’t had much room to relax. I was rushing somewhere in my car with my shoulders pulled to my ears, when my thoughts turned to the usual questions, “What do I want? What do I need to do?” It made me think about everything I didn’t have time for, everything that’s out of reach.

Then I remembered the article I read last week — go read it if you didn’t see my post. It suggested replacing “What do I want?” with a more concrete question, “Do I have enough?”

So I asked myself, “Do I have enough?” just as I was cresting a huge hill on Dolores Street. It’s a wide avenue with a lush median strip, lined with palm trees to the horizon.

The light was just sinking below the hills, I was on my way to a fun weekend with some favorite people, in my car with a full tank of gas. It was so gorgeous, and there was so much good stuff to anticipate, I started to laugh. My brain stumbled from one good thing to the next — my healthy kid, the city I love, the girls I work with, my lovely friends, my apartment with a full fridge. I laughed and laughed at my own dumb luck.

So that’s what this mix is about. Do I have enough? Yeah.

I hope this music makes you feel that way too.

Yeah? Yeah. Mix on Spotify
Yeah? Yeah. Mix on Rdio

Playlist:

Little Red Wagon, Audra Mae and The Almighty Sound
Nobody Knows Me at All, The Weepies
What I Like About You, The Romantics
Hate Me Soon, Yellow Ostrich
My Love, the bird and the bee
I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous, Frank Turner
D-D-Dance, The Royal Concept
Throw Your Arms Around Me, Summer Fiction
Glorious Dawn (feat Stephen Hawking), Carl Sagan, Symphony of Science
Submarines, The Lumineers
Invincible, OK Go
Crank That, Soulja Boy Tell’em
Vegas Girl, Conor Maynard
Summer Home, Typhoon
Super Disco Breakin’, Beastie Boys
Eyeoneye, Andrew Bird
I’m Good, I’m Gone, Lykke Li
The Clapping Song, Shirley Ellis
Hot Knife, Fiona Apple
Take it Off, The Donnas
Black and Gold, K. Gates
Manchester, Kishi Bashi
That’s Not My Name, The Ting Tings
We Run This, Missy Elliott

What have you been listening to lately? Let us know in comments, I’m compiling a playlist of your recs.

More mixes:
Baby Done Me Wrong Songs
Maximum Fun Road Trip Mix
An Hour at SxSW
Sexy Time Mix
Simple Present Mix

Mighty Thirst: Toddy Shots

This is my spin on a digestif — for guests who aren’t inclined to drink their booze straight, whether to aid digestion or the conversation. It’s strong, intentionally so, but it’s also delicious.

Rim glass with nutmeg and sugar. Add:
• 1 shot Sailor Jerry’s rum
• 1 shot hot Earl Grey tea
• A splash of almond milk (to taste)

Despite the name, do not require that guests drink it off your body, or you’ll have some awkward burns to explain later.

Here’s to museums after dark, feeling healthy and well-rested, and playing it by ear. What are you toasting this week?

Other Mighty cocktails:
The ABC • Sassy Lassi • The Cherry Bing • The Vacation • Shots n ‘Cots • Avocado Bourbon Shake

Portugal. The Man, Outside Lands 2012

AT&T sponsored my coverage of Outside Lands this year, so I got to take photos of a few of their All Access tent performances.

During this interview with John Gourley of Portugal. The Man, Isabel texted that Gourley was a talented artist who did the artwork for their album covers.

That explains his impeccable shoes, which I took with me when I left. I am wearing them now.

Gourley’s a reserved guy who says being on stage has helped him overcome some intense shyness. The whole band grew up in Alaska, and Gourley said he was an adult before he realized that people slept in past 8 a.m.

The music is smart-people rock with solid lyrics, which is always my thing. I like People Say, but you’ll find everything here:

Portugal. The Man on Spotify
Portugal. The Man on Rdio

If you’d like to watch this interview, you can find it here, or you can:

Like them on Facebook.
Follow them on Twitter.

Faces in the Crowd, Waiting for Sigur Rós at Outside Lands 2012

Did you see me point my camera your way at the show? More faces on Facebook. Apt.

AT&T sponsored my coverage of Outside Lands this year. Thanks, guys!

Allen Stone, Outside Lands 2012

AT&T sponsored my coverage of Outside Lands this year, so I got to take photos of a few of their All Access tent performances.

Holy hell, Allen Stone is a charmer. He learned to perform in church as a kid, and it shows.

The guy can certainly sing, but I have to admit I didn’t get his music until I saw him live. He is lit from within, and so comfortable in his own skin.

Here’s the performance and interview I saw if you want to have a look. And here’s a good “print” interview with him if you’d like to read up.

If you haven’t heard anything by him, start with Sleep and then dive in deeper here:

Allen Stone on Spotify
Allen Stone on RDIO

If you like him, or if you like him like him, you can show him a little love by:

Liking him on Facebook.
Following him on Twitter.

Or catch his performance at AT&T’s All Access Tent at Outside Lands, plus a brief interview, on U-Verse.

Mighty Happy Giveaway Winners

Remember the Mighty Happy Giveaway Contest? Where we asked readers to share three things that made them happy for a chance to win a copy of Gretchen Rubin’s book Happier at Home (which hits shelves September 4), plus gift bags from Bliss and Anthropologie?

After smiling, nodding, and tearing up through nearly 800 short lists of your happies, we’ve settled on five winners. (Click on the images to enlarge.)

Finding Magnolia (comment #692)

Hope (comment #542)

Annette (comment #406)

Mette (comment #666)

Vivian (comment #405)

Big thanks to everyone who entered. The contest is over, but feel free to keep adding your happy things. As one of you guys said, “Thanks for asking about happiness. There are like 500 responses, and I don’t think they are for the prize. It’s nice to have a minute to be thankful. It’s a good sentence to complete.” Truth.

Michael Kiwanuka, at Outside Lands 2012

AT&T sponsored my coverage of Outside Lands this year, so I got to take photos of a few of their All Access tent performances.

Michael Kiwanuka was the guy I came to see. I mean, Stevie Wonder aside, but come on.

Kiwanuka is a soul singer who was recently on tour with Adele, and his music has made it onto a few of my mixes. He said he aims for warmth with his albums, and that’s a perfect description of how they make me feel — comforted.