I’m meeting with Victoria today to talk about my bedroom makeover. I’ve been thinking I might want more plants in the house, and I remembered that when I was little, I would lie down in the backyard and blow on the maidenhair ferns to watch them quiver.

Did you ever do that? I remember hundreds of odd things I did to pass the time. What was your quirky little kid thing?

Photo by David Hoffman.

Hey, 2013. Yeah, I see you making eyes.

Here’s what. I like the way you smile, and also? I like the way you make me smile. We both know what’s coming, so let’s ease into this. No stress, no pressure — say we have all the time in the world. What should we do with it?

See more movies.
Sometimes I just want popcorn for dinner. If I have time, I’ll pop it at home in olive oil and sneak it in, because a girl has preferences. And because I am above the law. I have some root beer in my bag too, do you want one? Hell yeah, you do. Shh. Previews. Cinema! 2013.

Image credit Claire L. Evans

Eat more dim sum.
You know what I wish? I wish I could have like 15 bite-sized meals at one go. Maybe chicken, then pork, then beef, then some veggies or whatever, a little tiny soup that I could eat like it’s a chicken nugget. Wait. What’s that you say? This culinary dreamscape is a reality? Snack dinner as mandated by one of the world’s earliest civilizations? Thanks, China! As though moveable type and the compass weren’t enough. Dim! Sum! 2013.

Image credit Darwin Bell

Own less crap.
College lit anthologies, a bag of noisemakers, three sub-par yoga mats, really good empty boxes should I choose to wrap something cleverly. Ugh, all this stuff. I don’t need all this stuff. Do you want it? Purge! 2013.

Invest in good pens.
I like to write things on paper. Paper smells good, I like the way my hand feels moving across the page, I like how my handwriting unfurls while I think. And I particularly like to write with a Pilot Precise V5 Rollerball, Fine — or Extra Fine. (Let’s not be sticklers.) Anyway, this is not a crazy expensive pen. Why do I own anything else? I hereby refuse to purchase any other pen. Up yours, inferior pens. Longhand! 2013.

Image credit Brandon Blattner

Make things shinier.
Disco balls! Lip gloss! Futuristic rockets with lens-flare sheen! Admit it. Shiny things are better than regular things. For one, they catch the light. Further, they distract stupid people so you no longer have to engage in conversation with them. Finally, they really pull a room together. In 2013 I am coating everything in glitter. You! Come here. Shiny things! 2013.

Happy New Year, my lovelies. Here’s to 2013, may it find you going easy on yourself and the people around you. Good things for everyone.

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