Thinking about a Rita Konig quote published in Domino:
“There’s something about the size of everything in Italy. The glass of wine is small and so is the order of spaghetti. Here, everything is too big, which is about value, not luxury.”
Category: Of Interest
Rainbows, I Tell You
Psychologists now know what makes people happy
My favorite part of this article on happiness by Marilyn Elias:
“One of the happiest men I ever met was a 64-year-old Chicago welder with a fourth-grade education,” he says. The man took immense pride in his work, refusing a promotion to foreman that would have kept him from what he loved to do. He spent evenings looking at the rock garden he built, with sprinklers and floodlights set up to create rainbows.”
7 Skills Every Woman Should Master
So Esquire‘s list of 75 Skills Every Man Should Master has been everywhere lately. It’s a good read, and most of the stuff is applicable to both genders. Here’s my little list of seven things every woman should know how to do, because I lack the stamina to come up with seventy-five:
1. Entertain unexpected company. Invest in a cheeseboard, and then keep a big jar in your cupboard filled with bags of dried apricots and cranberries, almonds, hazelnuts, and a few bars of exceptional chocolate. All of it will keep for a while, if you can refrain from devouring everything while you watch an episode of Lost.
Now, in three minutes, you can dump out some fruit and nuts, chop up a chocolate bar, and arrange it all to maximum effect on the cheeseboard. If you have decent cheese in the fridge, it’s a bonus. Pow! You’re Martha Stewart.
2. Comfort someone in mourning. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” And then as much silence as you can muster.
3. Celebrate. Good stuff is happening all around you. Pour a glass of champagne, pass around a box of chocolate, and say something memorable.
4. Break up with a poisonous friend. I had this friend in junior high, and every time I told her I liked a boy, she suddenly became very attentive towards him. I was too young to realize what was going on at the time, but by high school, and the fourth or fifth crush she’d pinched, I caught on.
Most of us have a friend or acquaintance who always leaves us feeling just a little bit worse. Maybe your mortifying missteps become her favorite amusing anecdotes. Maybe she throws her arm around your boyfriend’s shoulders with suspicious frequency. Maybe she guilt-trips you into piling a few favors atop your already hectic schedule. Whoever she is, stop calling her. Tell her you’re busy — so very busy — until 2050 or so.
5. Give a good blowjob.
6. Dribble a basketball, throw a football, kick a soccer ball. This stuff comes up. If you can’t do anything athletic at all, you start to look like the kind of girl who spends too much time getting mani-pedis.
7. Apologize convincingly. I was wrong. I’m very sorry. It won’t happen again.
If that doesn’t work, you may need to genuflect.
Attention to Detail
The September 2007 issue of Domino has an article about how fashion designer Valentino likes to entertain. He mentions an interesting point of etiquette I’d never thought about before:
“I follow the rule of dividing my time evenly throughout the meal–first course to my right, second course to my left. Far too many young ladies in America get caught up in the media and forget to pay attention to their manners. When seats are assigned, it is for a reason. I expect my guests to show hospitality to their host and table companions throughout the meal.”
Dinner parties aren’t particularly common in our social circle, but I love the idea of hosting a smaller gathering with the intent of introducing people who will enjoy each others’ company.
Just Write
Eden over at Fussy has just christened National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo), during which participants agree to post every day during November.
She has quite a list of participants going, and I’m falling in line. I can’t resist tidy little packets of accomplishment. Won’t you join me? Yes! Do!
And please don’t tell me you can’t think of anything to write about. By now, you know what to do about that.
Dirty Talk
This page lists dozens of ways to bypass voice response systems, and it reminded me of a trick my friend Jeff shared with me a while ago. It doesn’t work for every system, but when it does, it’s glorious. It goes like this:
Robot: Please press one to access your account, press two to
Me: Fuck.
Robot: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Can you repeat what you just said?
Me: Fuck.
Robot: I think you said you want to talk to an agent. Is this correct?
Me: Yes.
Agent: Hello! May I have your account number please?
Of course, I’m extra polite once the operator gets on the line, as he or she presumably knows that I got aggressive at the phone. Yet another example of how nastiness is rewarded. Unfortunately, until someone designs a system that reacts similarly when I say Please and Thank You, I’m sticking with the program.
Free Time
Best headlines from this month’s Martha Stewart Living:
- Frosting Like a Pro
- Mum Pillow Covers
- Setting a Course By the Homemaker’s Star
- Embellish Envelopes
Mighty Girl 