Category: My Life List

1,000 Songs Project: Friday Mixtape

I’ve always wished I knew more about music, and this is part of my Life List project to listen to 1,000 new songs. Right now I’m up to 993(!), and on Fridays I share some of my new favorites. If you’d like to share some music with me, please link to your picks in comments, and I will listen to them.

Broken Headlights from Joey Ryan and Kenneth Pattengale
(Thanks, Danielle York!)

Washing Day from Amber Rubarth
(Danielle recommended this one too.)

Laura from Girls

California from Joey Ryan

Seven Nation Army cover from Ben l’Oncle Soul
(Thanks, Rosecrans.)

Still looking for more music? Here you go: Mixtape 1, Mixtape 2, Mixtape 3, Mixtape 4, Mixtape 5, Mixtape 6, Mixtape 7, Mixtape 8, Mixtape 9, Mixtape 10, Mixtape 11, Mixtape 12, Mixtape 13, Mixtape 14, Mixtape 15 , Mixtape 16 , Mixtape 17 , Mixtape 18, Mixtape 19, Mixtape 20, Mixtape 21, Mixtape 22, Mixtape 23, Mixtape 24, Mixtape 25, Mixtape 26, Mixtape 27, Mixtape 28

7 Tips for Overcoming Fear of the Dentist

Historically, I’ve been so terrified of the dentist I would have panic attacks at the thought of going — I mean that literally. I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up, or possibly die a horrible dental chair death to a symphony of drills. This complicated things when I finally got dental insurance and had an appointment where they told me I’d need about $30,000 of work beyond what was covered. That was when I was 22.

If you’re similarly terrified of the dentist, I found that being trapped in the elevator at my dentist office really helped put things in perspective, so try that. Otherwise, my tips for overcoming dental paralysis for major procedures are as follows:

1. Manage your own pain. Accept that there’s no need for you to feel anything beyond the novocaine shot. The minute you do, ask for more novocaine. Because of the panic, I metabolize that stuff like crazy, and have to ask for up to two reapplications per procedure. Raise a finger so they know to pause and tell them you have sensation. A good dentist is uncomfortable when you are, and they’ll take care of it or explain your options.

2. Close your eyes. You don’t need to see the implements. Especially not the needle. Breathe.

3. Pay attention to your body. Note how your entire body is clenched like a vise? Concentrate on relaxing your muscles one and at time, from the toes up. Unclench your jaw. Unfurrow your brow. If you feel yourself panicking, start again from the toes.

4. Wear headphones. Loud, soothing music you rarely listen to in real life. No need to sabotage your favorite tunes with dental recall. Ask your dentist to squeeze your hand if he or she needs something.

5. Find an escape. If your dentist doesn’t already have one, ask him or her to hang a poster of a soothing scene (the ocean or something) on the ceiling above the chair. That way, if you do open your eyes, there’s something non medical to look at.

6. Care for yourself. When you’re back at home, ice your jaw and rinse gently with warm saltwater whenever you’re in pain. This controls swelling and infection, both of which cause a lot of the post-procedural pain. If they gave you painkillers, take them the first day even if you don’t think you need them. If they gave you antibiotics, set an alarm on your phone to remind you to take every last one of them.

7. Take it easy. Trashy magazines, warm broth, ice cream.

Rinse. Repeat.

What did I forget? Tips for making your dentists appointment more bearable? Fill us in.

Getting My Health in Order, Part III: Teeth

If you’re just joining us and you’re into maladies, welcome! “Get my health in order” is on my life list. Here’s Part I where I outline the obstacles, and Part II where I explain that acupuncture does more than clean your aura. Please join us for this installment of Autoimmune On Parade, wherein I outline the expensive and inconvenient things I’ve endured to obtain Vicodin.

Hey, Chopper!

I’m eating lunch as I type this, and it’s kind of a miracle I can chew. Long time readers will be familiar with my dental escapades. (If not, you’ll want to rent my critically acclaimed “Dental Escapades XXX Get drilled.”) But to be candid, these last six months are the first time I’ve chewed without pain in about 15 years.

Take your tongue and trace all the teeth in your mouth that feel like molars, even the little ones. Now. With one or two exceptions, I’ve had root canals on every one of those teeth. That’s because my body has been attacking them. Before I knew this, I just assumed other people must be maniacs about tooth care. “Thanks for lunch! I’m just going to pop in the bathroom and floss before we go.”

My dentists reinforced this idea by shaking their heads and sighing with concern whenever they peered into my mouth. Two years ago I wrote:

When I go to the dentist, which I do every few minutes, they look at me like I’ve been sleeping with hard candy in my mouth, and waking to a hearty breakfast of dried apricots dipped in marshmallow fluff.

Your Body as an Ecosystem

At my first appointment with the acupuncturist, I told her I had a tooth that had been mildly infected for years, but recently had begun to bother me more. She insisted I make an appointment to take care of it immediately. I still don’t totally know why, but acupuncturists really wig when something is going wrong with your mouth.

So I went to the dentist, where I’d been eight months before, and he sent me immediately to an oral surgeon, who scheduled me for emergency surgery the next day.

I’m embarrassed to admit how numb I was to my health, what bad care I took of myself, but here goes. Before the surgery I’d had a toothache for a few weeks (nothing unusual there), but the pressure increased until it was unbearable for a day or two, and then it mysteriously subsided. I figured it was healing. What had actually happened was the infection had broken through to my sinus cavity, thereby relieving the pressure as the infection presumably flowed toward my brain.

Yaaaaaay.

Oral Surgery A-Go-Go

So I went through about a year of bone grafting. Healing. Having a screw placed into my jaw. Healing. Having an implant placed on the screw. Healing.

But here’s the upside. Because I had several recent X-rays on file thanks to all this oral surgery, and because I was starting to realize my body was an ecosystem thanks to acupuncture, I finally figured out that the problem wasn’t my now-near-obsessive oral hygiene habits.

One night, I was flossing a perfectly healthy tooth, and when I pulled the floss out, a shard of my tooth came with it. I shuddered, whimpered, and called the dentist.

At my appointment the next day I said, “I should tell you, this. I think I have an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder. I think my body might be attacking my teeth. Please check my x-rays.” He did, and he agreed. It’s called dental resorption, and this is what I wrote about it last summer:

My teeth were just minding their own business, masticating, ripping open plastic packaging. Then my teeth glanced over at my immune system, and my immune system was all, “What are you staring at?” My teeth were like, “Nothing, man.” And BAM! My life is a Stephen King novella where I angered some mystic and now I’m paying in teeth.

The excellent team at my dentist’s office went from slightly stern and instructive, to empathetic and concerned. They’d always been great, but it was a palpable shift. I asked my hygenist about all that flossing instruction. “Did you just think I was a meth addict?” I said. She smiled.

“Well. You never know.”

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about my joints, diet, exercise, and supplements. And then my friends, we will check this mother off the list, and return to our discussions of ice cream and adventure sports. See you then.

1,000 Songs Project: Friday Mixtape

I’ve always wished I knew more about music, and this is part of my Life List project to listen to 1,000 new songs. Right now I’m up to 976, and on Fridays I share some of my new favorites. If you’d like to share some music with me, please link to your picks in comments, and I will listen to them.

Those to Come from The Shins

Two of Those Two by Maria Taylor

Doo Wah Doo from Kate Nash (Thanks, Molly.)

That Day from The Villagers (Thanks, Jan.)

Firework from Katy Perry. I know you’ve heard this. I don’t care. Let’s do this.

Still looking for more music? Here you go: Mixtape 1, Mixtape 2, Mixtape 3, Mixtape 4, Mixtape 5, Mixtape 6, Mixtape 7, Mixtape 8, Mixtape 9, Mixtape 10, Mixtape 11, Mixtape 12, Mixtape 13, Mixtape 14, Mixtape 15 , Mixtape 16 , Mixtape 17 , Mixtape 18, Mixtape 19, Mixtape 20, Mixtape 21, Mixtape 22, Mixtape 23, Mixtape 24, Mixtape 25, Mixtape 26, Mixtape 27

Getting My Health in Hand, Part II: Acupuncture


Photo by Helene Goupil.

When we last left our heroine, she was eating steamed broccoli and vegetable broth, crying silently into her herbal tea while a drum circle sounded in the distance.

I couldn’t maintain that diet, I was attracting hippies. Well, I’ll be more truthful. Sleeping 15 hours a day and being covered in itchy hives seemed more appealing than maintaining that diet. The cleanse did make me realize, however, what an idiot I’d been about my health. Be ye not so stupid.

The Western Approach

I scheduled an appointment with one of the best allergists in the city. In contrast to the first allergist who told me I was allergic to everything that brought light to my eyes, this one told me I was allergic to nothing except olive tree pollen. This meant I would have to stop sprinkling the sheets with olive tree pollen, and snorting it as a chaser to the aforementioned crushed cookies, but otherwise no problem.

He also “diagnosed” me with idiopathic uticaria, which means “you get hives, we don’t know why,” presumably in Latin. He said whatever was causing the hives was in my bloodstream, so I noticed more of them when I had wine and coffee because caffeine and booze increase bloodflow, which means more of those irritants were flowing past hive points. Huh.

I told him I was going to try acupuncture, though I didn’t believe in it and had a needle phobia. He told me he didn’t believe in it either, but to drop him a line if it worked. Man, I need to send that guy a letter.


Photo by Helene Goupil.

Needle Napping

Because I’m afraid of needles (and apparently of making appointments), I put off my first appointment until I moved into an office with an acupuncture studio that literally shared a wall. (Okay, universe, I hear you.) Eva, the practitioner, was willing to work in trade, which is how I ended up having about 24 sessions before I really believed it worked.

At that first appointment, Eva asked about my whole body. How were my teeth? British. In fact, I had a chronic infection in a tooth right that moment. How were my joints? Barbie. I’d had non-injury related knee surgery when I was 25 because my knee just stopped working — my shoulders, elbows and hips were uncooperative when it came to simple things, like bending. What else? I had telltale tingling and pain in my forearms from all that time clicking around for my shopping sites. I had patches of (sexy) eczema that I thought was ringworm for years, relatively frequent (and sexy!) cold sores. And also? I was sleeping my life away.

Eva stuck me with needles and prescribed herbs for six months before I was convinced. I gradually slept less, and my hives were subsiding. In that time, and in the two years since, acupuncture has dramatically improved my health. I sleep like a normal person, I hardly notice the few hives that pop up, and now only on my chest and neck, instead of all over my face. I’ve come to realize my joint issues flare up in periods of stress (later, we’ll talk about why I’ve been limping around lately). I have very little arm pain, no eczema, and I’ve only had two or three cold sores in two years. The improvement has been slow, but better than I could have hoped.

Why it Worked for Me

Now, I’m not saying it was the needles alone that did all this, I also credit acupuncture with causing a paradigm shift in how I think about my body, and that led to all kinds of profoundly effective changes. Intellectually, I’d always realized my body was an ecosystem, but our medical system gives overt signs that you should think of your body in chunks, in terms of the specialists you see. Problems with your teeth are for the dentist, problems with your skin are for the dermatologist –- and except in extreme or unusual cases, neither of those specialists will ask you about what’s going on with “unrelated” parts of your body. Acupuncture’s message is that your tooth problems might be caused by the same thing that’s irritating your skin — everything is connected. And that realization changed everything for me.

I also found that once I was committed to a regular course of treatment for my body, I was more willing to do everything I could to improve my health because I didn’t feel so hopeless. If I’m getting acupuncture for carpal tunnel, I might as well also get a decent chair, and turn my track pad to touch clicking. If I’m getting acupuncture for jaw pain, maybe I should go get a damn mouth guard already. Maybe I could get a few books on how my diet affects my body and make some more informed decisions about what I’m eating.

But let’s not discount the treatments, I became a real advocate for acupuncture about six months into treatment, when I felt a woosh run down my forearm. It was like someone had poured warm water over me. There was a rush, a slight tingling, sort of an internal purr like an engine revving. It felt incredible. After that, I stopped having shooting pains, and now I only get tingling if I’ve been overtly stupid with computer use. Magic.

What I Learned

Together, Eva and I figured out that my hives come and go with my period — they’re worst the week before. When Eva moved to China with her wife, my new acupuncturist Kien looked over my charts and pointed out that a hive on my tailbone usually precedes a cold sore, so I need to take a Lysine supplement and meditate on healing for twenty minutes or so to head that off. I had intense itching on the web between my thumb and forefinger, and that turned out to be a sign that something very upsetting was happening with my teeth, so now I’m on the lookout for that. I know much more about the supplements I need to take that are particular to the problems I have, grape seed extract because I bruise easily for example, and now I take vitamins and herbs every day.

I always asked questions while Eva worked, so I gradually gained a small body of knowledge. Each needle placement has a specific purpose, there are “channels” that affect parts of the body or address particular emotions like stress or anger. Acupuncture needles are teeny so they’re mostly painless, you can’t even feel them go in, but once in a while you get a real zinger if something is amiss.

“OW! Owowowowow. What was that?”
“Oh,” she said. “Tooth channel.”

On Monday, let’s talk about oral surgery. And party hats!

Get Health Issues in Hand? Let’s talk.

A few years ago, I was pretty sick — sleeping 17-20 hours a day, covered in hives, nightmare dental issues, joints not working, dust and moths billowing out my mouth when I coughed, that kind of thing.

I needed to address it, but the symptoms snuck up on me so gradually that I wasn’t conscious of how bad my health had gotten. I was overwhelmed by how many doctors appointments I needed, which is how “Get my health issues in hand” eventually made it to my Life List. But in the meantime, I made sidecars and baconsteak for dinner, while maintaining a strict regimen of sitting still at a keyboard.

I’ve resisted going into my health issues too much here, because I like this site to be a kind of scrapbook of stuff I want to remember. “Oh my sciatica” doesn’t make for great memories or memorable reading. But as I’ve slowly returned to life among the ambulatory, I thought some of you might like to know how. So if you’re into that, keep reading. If not, here’s that video of a kitten being surprised repeatedly.

——–

My extended family has health struggles. (Hi, family!) One by one we’ve developed exotic autoimmune disorders, and one by one we go to doctors who first say nothing is wrong, then eventually stick a close-enough label on our symptoms and begin treatment. As a group, we’ve been diagnosed as having Maybe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Probably Lupus, Possibly Chron’s, Could Be Epstein Barr, Looks Like Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, plain old allergies, and, the old standby in the face of medical confusion — hypochondria.

A few years ago, I started getting hives that looked like mosquito bites all over my torso. I ignored it, because I am stupid. Then they moved to my face, at which point vanity sent me to the doctor who sent me to an allergist. The allergist said I was “sensitive” to a zillion things, so I tried to cut all that stuff out of my diet, which didn’t work.

I eventually figured out that wine and caffeine exacerbated the hives, so I tried to eliminate those. Then I tried getting rid of gluten, then pesticides, and then dairy. Then I sobbed uncontrollably while my joints ached and people asked if I had chicken pox.

Around this time, Heather wanted to do the Oprah cleanse from Quantum Wellness with a group of us who were doing an online book club together. The cleanse meant:

– Adopting a vegan diet with no meat, dairy, or eggs.
– No gluten — so no breads, pastas, crackers, or joy
– Cutting out caffeine and booze
– Eliminating refined sugars (yes to fruits, no to snorting crushed cookies)

So essentially, you can have air. And quinoa.

Anyway, the cleanse made a lot of the girls sick, supposedly because their bodies were clearing out toxins or something. One the other hand, I went from sleeping 17-20 hours a day to bedtime at 3 a.m., sleeping four hours, and awaking refreshed on no caffeine. My hives cleared up, my joints felt better, my skin was amazing. And suddenly I realized how grave my situation had been.

Let’s talk more about that tomorrow. That and cute dresses. Break!

100 Parties Project: No. 1, Fall Dinner Party

I’ve been cocooning for a while, so I thought this would be a good time to get started on the 100 Parties Project, to kick start the new year. We threw this little dinner party back in November.

Ten bucks of grocery store mums and daisies, some leftover kumquats, and bam! Centerpieces in 15 minutes. I like to put objects next to my arrangements to make tiny tableaus. This dinosaur fit right in with the color scheme. He is so ferocious. Grr.

I put the kumquats on long toothpicks for the nosegays, and skewers for the larger arrangement, then wrapped with a bit of floral tape so they’d stay put in the vases. Masking tape also works fine in a pinch if your vase is opaque.

The vases are thrifted. These little ones are Hawaiian pottery goblets I picked up in Portland. I’d never seen them before, but for some reason they’re everywhere up there.

The menu:

Pear Sidecars
Melissa and I had these in Portland, and they’ve become a favorite in the Summers and Mason households alike.

Antipasto Tray
We wing it, but there’s a basic outline on the other side of that link.

Red Wine
We weren’t particular about this, but if you have a pairing suggestion that you think fits this menu, leave it in comments and I’ll update.

Winter Veggie Soup with Goat Cheese Crostini
This is one of my favorite soups. It has a granny apple, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper for a little kick. Unexpected and delicious, plus you can make it ahead and pull it out of the freezer.

Honey Tangerines and Kumquats with Walnuts and Shaved Celery
This is crisp and palate-cleansy. It’s also how we ended up with extra kumquats for the centerpieces.

Pork Tenderloin and Potatoes
Bryan usually just does some sort of rub based on a random Epicurious recipe. If you wanted to really wow, you could also do the potatoes separately with some wilted Spinach and bacon.

Bill Granger’s Chocolate Pudding Cakes with Bourbon Whipped Cream
This will end you, it’s my go-to guest dessert. I measure everything out beforehand, then excuse myself for ten minutes to melt the chocolate and mix everything up. It takes about 15 minutes to bake while you finish your wine, and then you have simple, warm flourless chocolate cakes. Plus it makes the house smell beautiful.

Coffee and Tea
It was a Monday night, so we didn’t do port. In retrospect, this was a mistake. Be ye not so stupid.

Take photos of little girls twirling outside the Nutcracker? Check.

I used to walk past the Opera House on the way home from work, and in December I’d see all the little girls leaving the Nutcracker in their holiday dresses. They’d come outside to twirl in their skirts, and leap like the ballerinas they’d just seen onstage. Every Christmas, it stopped me on the sidewalk with my breath fogging in the air.

This year, I finally got a chance to see the San Francisco Ballet with Margaret and her daughters, Bea and Isabel, and they twirled for me.

Happy holidays, everyone.

1,000 Songs Project: Friday Mixtape

I’ve always wished I knew more about music, and this is part of my Life List project to listen to 1,000 new songs. Right now I’m up to 942, and on Fridays I share some of my new favorites. If you’d like to share some music with me, please link to your picks in comments, and I will listen to them.

Big Jet Plane from Angus and Julia Stone (Thanks, Daniella Palethorpe.)

Holding Us Back from Katie Herzig (Thanks, Brandi.)

Via Con Me from Paolo Conte (Thanks, Lin Ilsley.)

Sweet Disposition from Temper Trap (Thanks again, Daniella Palethorpe.)

I Love You More Than You’ll Ever Know from Donny Hathaway

Still looking for more music? Here you go: Mixtape 1, Mixtape 2, Mixtape 3, Mixtape 4, Mixtape 5, Mixtape 6, Mixtape 7, Mixtape 8, Mixtape 9, Mixtape 10, Mixtape 11, Mixtape 12, Mixtape 13, Mixtape 14, Mixtape 15 , Mixtape 16 , Mixtape 17 , Mixtape 18, Mixtape 19, Mixtape 20, Mixtape 21, Mixtape 22, Mixtape 23, Mixtape 24, Mixtape 25, Mixtape 26

1,000 Song Project: Friday Mixtape

I’ve always wished I knew more about music, and this is part of my Life List project to listen to 1,000 new songs. Right now I’m up to 923, and on Fridays I share some of my new favorites. If you’d like to share some music with me, please send your picks to maggie at mighty girl dot com, and I will listen to them.


Clementine from Sarah Jaffe
(Thanks, Amber!)


One Day from Sharon Van Etten
(Thanks, Kate!)


Smoke a Little Smoke from Eric Church


Before I’m Old from Fictionist


Bullfighter Jacket from Miniature Tigers
 (Thanks, Laura and Laurie.)

Still looking for more music? Here you go: Mixtape 1, Mixtape 2, Mixtape 3, Mixtape 4, Mixtape 5, Mixtape 6, Mixtape 7, Mixtape 8, Mixtape 9, Mixtape 10, Mixtape 11, Mixtape 12, Mixtape 13, Mixtape 14, Mixtape 15 , Mixtape 16 , Mixtape 17 , Mixtape 18, Mixtape 19, Mixtape 20, Mixtape 21, Mixtape 22, Mixtape 23, Mixtape 24, Mixtape 25