Category: My Life List

Mighty Summit 2012

• Attend a state dinner
• Take breakdancing lessons
• Learn to apply false eyelashes

The best thing about Mighty Summit is reading everyone’s Life Lists. It’s like speed dating for your brain.

Though reading everyone’s posts afterward is a close second:

“We stayed at Boon Hotel + Spa for the weekend. The air up there was just so clean. I felt like I could breathe deeper.” – Meg Biram of Mimi+Meg

• Have a sexy marriage
• Own 200 dresses
• Help someone through college

Reading someone’s goals gives me the same thrill I used to get when I first started reading personal websites in the early days of the Internet. You get to know about someone before you dive into knowing them for real. It gives you so many good places to start, so many chances to find their most sympathetic side.

“Each woman at Mighty Summit brought a life list. 100 or so things she wanted to accomplish over her lifetime. And on our last day together we picked five that we want to tackle in the next year. It sounds like it could be a little hippie-dippie woo-woo (and we all know I’m totally hippie-dippie woo-woo) but it was truly powerful.” – Kathleen Shannon of Braid Creative


“There is power in sharing your goals, in being vulnerable, and frankly, in being willing to fail. To really live out our dreams, we need to be prepared for the possibility that we won’t achieve them. It’s easy to make a list of things we can easily do (and there’s a need for that too), but to get to the heart of the matter, we need to dive in, leave fear behind, and say what we really, really want.” – Elizabeth Stark of Brooklyn Supper

• See North Korea
• Own a popcorn machine
• Take up barefoot running

It’s scary speaking your hopes out loud. I used to worry that I’d fail to achieve something I said I wanted. Or oddly, I worried that I would succeed, which means you can no longer define yourself by your struggle for a particular dream. What does it mean once you’ve written the book, had the kid, climbed the mountain? What next?

• Renovate a barn
• Drive a stick shift
• Be a junior member of the Explorer’s Club

Hoping for these things suggests that you deserve them. You never know how the people around you will react to that, or even how you will. I think that’s why so many people disdain this kind of emotional exercise. It’s easier to laugh at the idea of improving yourself, or your lot, than it is to face the terrifying vulnerability of claiming something better for yourself, and then attempting it.


“…as we went around the circle sharing dreams and goals of all scales of magnitude — the redwoods towering over us in an appropriately protective fashion — one by one, deep breaths were taken, souls were bared, vulnerabilities shared, help asked for. And 30 women became stronger by way of dipping their toes (sometimes their whole body) into a pool of vulnerability.” – Christine Koh of Boston Mamas


“The whole retreat was a perfect mix of socialization and thoughtful contemplation.” – Catie Nienaber of Cuffington

Talking about Life Lists is filling for me. It’s an exercise in trust, and an education in possibility.


“I left Might Summit with a better sense of self than I’ve had in quite some time. Goals clearly outlined, plans written down, proposals in the works.” – Kelly Beall of Design Crush

So what are you hoping for yourself? Who can help get you there? And if you had to choose, just five things to knock off your life list this year, what would they be?

Life List Uniforms: Attend the Kentucky Derby

This post is sponsored by eBay. From the new to the hard to find, when it’s on your mind, it’s on eBay.

If you’re wondering how I plan to pony up the cash to open a Swiss bank account, the answer is, ponies! Well technically, horses.

Attending the Kentucky Derby is on my Life List, and mama needs a new pair of shoes. Rousing Sermon, I have my eye on you from under this hot pink double-bow. Gold flats, you can say the same.

Life List Uniforms: Attend the Kentucky Derby | Mighty Girl

1. The Brass Age Bracelet | 2. Anthropologie Boucle Racerback Dress | 3. Maggie Mae Designs Hat | 4. Michael Kors Pint Ostrich Handbag (via eBay) | 5. Hello Horse iPhone Case | 6. Tory Burch Flats in Gold (via eBay) | 7. Foley and Corrina Clutch in Red (via eBay) | 8. Warby Parker Trilliny Sunglasses

Now, where can a girl get a julep?


http://thirdparty.fmpub.net/placement/516440?fleur_de_sel=%5Btimestamp%5D

An Easy System for Organizing Goals

How I Categorize Goals | Mighty Girl

Mighty Summit was last weekend, and with Camp Mighty approaching, I’ve been considering what I want from next year. At both events we do a resource lunch where attendees choose five goals for the coming year, and ask for help with one.

My plan was to revamp my Life List because so much has changed. I found a fresh sheet of paper, got all thinky, and! My new goals were so meaty, you guys. “I have leveled up!” I thought, “My personal growth this past year is astounding!”

But, no. Turns out I always go through a process of setting larger goals and then winnowing down to specifics, it just wasn’t conscious before. In fact, over the years I’ve developed a system that works pretty well for me using three different types of goals:

Mighty Summit Mini Pinatas by Jordan Ferney | Mighty Girl

1. DIRECTIONS

I write all year long — here, in journals, on 750 Words, and I also keep an idea file on my laptop full of information I want to consider when I’m setting course for the year.

As my birthday approaches, I scan all that stuff and look for patterns. This helps me identify umbrella goals. They’re always a slightly different format, and they always seem cheesy when I share them, but the personal stuff always does, right? So here’s last year’s goal list:

Be myself.
• Organized
• Satisfied
• Fun

And this year’s:

Remember who you love and who loves you.
• Celebrate others
• Help others
• Be strong
• Leave space
• Stand up

These goals help me figure out what I want to cross off my Life List in the coming year. Which brings us to the second type of goal.

Lily, Mighty Summit | Mighty Girl

2. ACTIONS

These are the kinds of goals you’ll see on my Life List — taking tap lessons, tasting 1,000 fruits, rolling a kayak. Once I’ve set my directional goals for the year, I sort through my list for ideas actions that will move me in the right direction.

Under each directional goal, I add a clarifying sentence and then either fill in a few ideas from my Life List, or add tasks to my Life List based on my umbrella goals. I haven’t done this yet this year, so I’ll make up an example:

• Be strong.
Take care of myself so I have energy for everything else.
-Do a Triathlon.
-Practice the Four Agreements.
-Do something fun every day.

Now I know where I want to be, and also the specifics on how I’ll get there.

I plug away at tasks from birthday to birthday, and then start the process again in Fall, carrying over some longer-term items and deciding on fresh lessons with each pass.

In the meantime, I need reminders to lighten up.

Mighty Summit Coffee | Mighty Girl

3. APPETITES

Come New Year when everyone is in resolution frenzy and seasonal-affective disorder is sapping my will to achieve, I write up a list of fun things I want to keep in mind. Last year’s looked like this:

Resolved, 2012
• Eat more doughnuts.
• Carry less crap.
• Light more candles.
• Read real books.
• Organize the little stuff.
• Listen to more music.

These goals aren’t about effort, they’re just reminders of the things that keep life sweet for me.

So aside from daily to do lists, those are my main goal categories. What about you? How do you organize the things you want to accomplish? Do you make more than one list? Do you just keep things in your head? I’m curious because obviously I’m “meticulous” and the same process won’t produce the best results for everyone. Let me know your thoughts in comments.

Personal Dos and Don’ts

Mighty Life List: Personal Dos and Don'ts | Mighty Girl

This weekend is Mighty Summit, our fourth annual retreat for women in media. The Summit is a miniature version of Camp Mighty, and we do the same things — make Life Lists, commit to a few goals, and talk about how we can help each other cross things off, and drink champagne in the hot tub while reenacting our favorite Drunk History episodes.

Because both events are coming up, I’ve been thinking a lot about lifey stuff. How I want the coming year to feel as much as what I want to cross off my Life List. Reading over your comments on happiness and the kind things people have done for you, I decided to keep better track of what makes me happy and unhappy.

I took the very complex approach of making two lists, a “STOP IT” list and a “DO IT” list. When I feel cruddy, I add whatever got me there to the Stop It List, and when I feel happy, I add to the Do Its. For example:

DO IT!

Cook at home.
Dance.
Read novels in bed.
Write thank you notes.
Have sex!
Take baths instead of showers.
Go Dancing.
Tell the important people how I’m feeling. Using words.
Spend time with people who talk about ideas.
More hammocks.
Have a dance party.

STOP IT!

Don’t buy stuff I don’t truly need.
Don’t wear that unflattering dress anymore.
No reality TV that isn’t about aspiration. Blurgh.
No to people who habitually drain you.
Don’t complain instead of acting.
Refrain from overfilling my schedule.
Don’t assume.
Seriously? Why are you wearing that stupid dress?

See? Helpful.

What about you? If you had a Do and Don’t list, what would be on it?

180 Things to Be Happy About

180 Things to Be Happy About | Mighty Girl

Our Mighty Happy Giveaway Contest generated so many awesome and uplifting responses, it seemed unfair to highlight only the winners. Here, then, are 180 happy things, suggested by you guys. They made me happy, too.

1. The sound of my children making each other laugh. (Sabrina)

2. Being the first person to wake up on a weekend and sitting on the couch reading, waiting for the day to start. (Catherine)

3. Long conversations with my sister. (Jasmine)

4. Photo booths. (Shannon)

5. When someone likes something I’m wearing. (Kristin)

6. Discovering a beautiful thing in an unexpected place in an unexpected moment. (Amy)

7. Seeing old friends and realizing only after the rush of catching up that it’s like no time has passed and I love them just as much as ever. (Amy)

8. The moments when I realize there’s nowhere I’d rather be than where I am right then. (Samantha)

9. Hugs from a wet-from-the-pool four-year-old. (Cass)

10. Tears — sometimes the other side of them bring the best kind of happy (Cass)

11. The sparkle in my son’s eye when he’s telling a funny story. (Corri)

12. Sitting by a lake under the stars. (Meg)

13. The smell and feel of old books as I’m browsing my local book store. (Kami)

14. The feeling you get when in the ocean, just bouncing along with gentle waves. (Joanne)

15. The movie theater in town that plays independent films and serves beer. (Elizabeth)

16. Coming home from a trip. (Jana)

17. Jumping with the children on the trampoline we’ve got in the garden. (Mette)

18. The smell of the earth when it first starts to rain. (Amanda)

19. Feeding my friends food that I’ve cooked. (Vivian)

20. Being a traveler totally anonymous in a foreign country. (Morgan)

21. The feel of very old, somewhat transparent vintage t-shirts. (Abby)

22. Kneading bread dough. (Heather)

23. Music playing in the background. (Allisone)

24. Being barefoot in the kitchen, sipping wine, and cooking dinner. (Ginny)

25. Getting into a made bed at night. (Samantha)

26. Completing challenging tasks. That makes me feel bullet-proof! (Samantha)

27. Eating the first cookie, slice of bread, etc. that I pull out of the oven. (Hanna)

28. Songs that tell a story. (Karen)

29. In the moment when you realize an inside joke has been created. (Ginny)

30. Watching an Oklahoma sunset. (Penny)

31. When my husband and I suddenly catch each other’s eyes – amidst laundry, tired children, mess and long lists of to dos – smile, and kiss. (Mette)

32. When I come across something in my late father’s handwriting. (Tami)

33. Sharing dessert. (Tami)

34. Seeing my husband’s face light up just as much as the baby’s when they see each other. (Nestra)

35. That my daughter has to give the dog a kiss goodnight and the dog sleeps in front of her door. (Alicia)

36. When my husband gets into bed way later than me and inadvertently wakes me up by cuddling. (Hope)

37. The questions my five-year-old asks friendly strangers on the train. (Finding Magnolia)

38. Passport, travel documents, and a neatly packed bag – ready to head out the door. (Amy)

39. Falling asleep outdoors with the sun on my face. (Kate)

40. A slightly cool breeze coming off the river that hints at fall ahead. (Pseudostoops)

41. Seeing how confident and brave my 14-year-old daughter is. (Rochelle)

42. When I get to spend a whole day with my mum. (Angy)

43. Sitting on the front steps of my house in Capitol Hill, reading a book, drinking a glass of wine, and watching the neighborhood go by. (Rachel)

44. Watching my daughter carry around a Patty O’Green doll from the 1980s like it’s the hottest toy ever. (Marti)

45. Being able to spend an entire day reading favorite books. (Cynthia)

46. Those conversations with strangers in which the walls seem to fall away. (Morgan)

47. Seeing my husband read to my girls. (Famous Amy)

48. New paints, clean brushes, and an empty canvas. (Emily)

49. Deep roasted black coffee. (MDJ)

50. Remembering to buy myself flowers. (Sarah)

51. Strawberry season. (Erin)

52. Meandering conversations with my thirteen-year-old son. (Lisa)

53. Nighttime play dates — kids in the yard, adults on the deck. (Amy Beth)

54. Listening to my husband play the guitar. (Violeta)

55. Hugging my son when I pick him up from school. (Melissa)

56. Listening to music outdoors. (Katie)

57. A long chat with an old friend. (Erin)

58. Sitting on my 11-year-old daughter’s bed, next to her, as she chatters on about her most important things. (Linny)

59. Sitting at long table filled with great food and fantastic friends, and you suddenly realize just how lucky you are. (Patsy)

60. When my boyfriend anchors my feet with his feet, wraps his arms tight around me, and kisses the top of my head, with my face buried in his chest. (Janelle)

61. Coming downstairs in the morning to a clean house. (Dutch)

62. Deer trimming my blackberries for me, so I won’t have to. (Guinevere)

63. Hymns of my childhood. (Guinevere)

64. Being in the middle of really good book and being excited about how much there still is to go. (Candice)

65. The moments when I realize there’s nowhere I’d rather be than where I am right then. (Samantha)

66. The amazing woman in my life who catch me when I fall. (Rhiannon)

67. Buying my new planner in January and filling it in with birthdays and special events for the year ahead. (CP)

68. Homemade waffles on a Saturday morning at 11 am. (Christine)

69. Lifting someone up. Whether from complimenting them on their awesomeness or empowering them to try something new. (Kristen)

70. An email from the public library, telling me my requested books have arrived and are ready for me to pick up. (Nicole)

71. Fresh-cut zinnias from my garden. (Sassafrass Mama)

72. Being in Yosemite and seeing the valley from Tunnel View, which reminds me just how small my life is in comparison to the world, and gives me instant perspective. (Stephanie)

73. Riding my Vespa. (Cindy)

74. The laughter of women in a group. (Katie)

75. My son getting off the plane when he comes home from university. (Also his younger brother’s happy face when he sees his older brother). (Cass)

76. The rush of adrenaline at that moment on a run when a good song comes on my iPod. (Kate)

77. Finally having a job I love. (Lydia)

78. Sitting around with family after dinner on the deck outside, talking and laughing, with no one wanting to pack up and go home. (Leah)

79. Watching mass group hugs, like when a team wins the World Series. (Alyssa)

80. A day that is 78, calm and sunny. (Nicole)

81. Hearing the people I love laugh. (Karen)

82. Kids hugging babies. (Flora)

83. Fresh tomatoes from the garden. (Hilary)

84. A day alone in a new city with my camera. (Amy)

85. Planning a trip somewhere I’ve never been. (Erin)

86. Those moments in life, occasionally, where everything just seems right and crystallizes into a memory right as you watch. (Becky)

87. Riding my bike down the tree-lined streets of my neighborhood, seeing how long I can balance at stoplights. (M)

88. Spontaneous dance parties with my (brand! new!) husband. (M)

89. Swimming in my lake. (Heather)

90. The way my boyfriend and I can look at each other and know the other is thinking “ice cream.” (Kristen)

91. Arriving in a new place at the start of a long vacation. (Aimee)

92. Too much wine at dinner with new friends. (Rachel)

93. Blueberry season. (Rachel)

94. Looking at pictures of my best friend’s new baby. (Andi)

95. When one of my children says something unexpected and unintentionally hilarious. (Nicole)

96. My husband and I communicating something to one another that no one else gets. (Jodes)

97. Dandelions. (Amanda)

98. The constant sound of simultaneous awe, love and contentment in my sister’s voice since the birth of my niece. (Annette)

99. Walking in the woods with a light breeze. (Leah)

100. Dream decorating my new apartment. (Laura)

101. The first green points peeking through the dirt in spring, and the first turning leaves in the fall. (Casey)

102. A table-full of friends bursting into laughter. (Desiree)

103. Swimming in a pond with my dog. (Ariel)

104. Clean surfaces. (Kim)

105. The way my four-year-old son’s hair smells after his bath. (Becky)

106. My husband’s accent. (Becky)

107. How music can make me cry and laugh and feel so deeply. (Becky)

108. Cuddling in any form. (Mandy)

109. Embarking on a new project. (Andrea)

110. Riding on a scooter around New Orleans with my husband. (MacKensie)

111. My little cousins and the letters they write me. (Rachael)

112. Tomatoes and avocados on sourdough bread. (Rachael)

113. The way my dogs are freak-out-happy to see me when I get home from work. (Nancy)

114. When my daughter tells me her brother is her best friend. (Beks)

115. Eating apricots straight from the tree. (Laura)

116. Reading under a shady tree. (Danielle)

117. Hiking near wildflowers. (Tiff)

118. The Internet that connects me to the wider world. (Crystal)

119. A good sweaty run. (Marissa)

120. A semi-toothless grin. (Sarah)

121. Men with crinkle-eyes when they smile. (Stephanie)

122. Suntan lines on my feet. (Jodi)

123. Remembering to look up: trees, sunset, stars, sky … (Meghan)

124. Crossing things off. (Michelle)

125. My little nephew calling to say hello. (Michelle)

126. Long walks through the woods in the fall. (Sue)

127. Pushing myself past what I think are my limits. (Rachel)

128. A healthy, delicious dinner made at home. (Heather)

129. When someone else makes coffee in the morning. (Michelle)

130. Crawling into a freshly made bed. (Erin)

131. When my three-year-old calls my six-month-old honey and sweetie. (Hope)

132. Spending a day in the kitchen cooking with all the windows open. (Sarah)

133. The third lap in the pool. (Mai)

134. Biking in the sun. (Mai)

135. Biting into a ripe homegrown tomato. (Trish)

136. Holding hands and seeing others doing the same. (Kristen)

137. When you get home right before the rain starts. (Wan)

138. The rush of endorphins toward the end of kickboxing class. (Nicole)

139. The smell of the tent when we unfold it. (Shelly)

140. Using the china that was given to me on my wedding day by my mother, which was her mother’s, which was her mother’s. (Megan)

141. Opening the windows when it starts raining. (Megan)

142. Listening to my 88-year-old grandmother telling me how my grandfather proposed. (Heather)

143. A shiny-clean kitchen floor. (Louise)

144. An unexpected surprise — and planning an unexpected surprise. (Louise)

145. Climbing into a bed made up with fresh sheets and lots of pillows at the end of the day. (Lisa)

146. Fireflies. (Maileen)

147. Honey-mint iced tea. (Sonya)

148. The moments leading up to a kiss. (Ats)

149. Smiles, knowing looks, and general understanding with strangers whom you may or may not speak to and may or may not see again. (SWAK)

150. Eating healthier and feeling better as a result. (Sarah)

151. Belly laughs. (Rhonda)

152. When my son wears his superhero cape to the grocery store. (Sarah

153. That first real exhale after sex. (Maya)

154. Making my mother proud. (Ingrid)

155. The Sunday paper. (Carla)

156. Living in NYC. (Lauren)

157. Little kids when they’re learning to talk. (Danielle)

158. When I come across something in my late father’s handwriting. (Tami)

159. The way I feel after exercise. (April)

160. That my daughter has to give the dog a kiss goodnight and the dog sleeps in front of her door. (Alicia)

161. Fresh lemonade. (Claire)

162. When friends from different circles of my life become friends with each other. (Annabanana)

163. When light turns golden at the end of the day. (Gabi)

164. Rainbow sprinkles. (Heather)

165. Using treasured postcards as bookmarks. (Christy)

166. Being good at what I do. (Hita)

167. My kids when they first get out of bed, all sleepy and snugly with wild hair. (mk)

168. Old things: Buildings, books, people … (April)

169. Taking off my bra at the end of a long day. (C)

170. Receiving handwritten letters from my grandfather. (Jan)

171. Wearing my (long distance) boyfriend’s clothes. (Elise)

172. My kid singing her heart out (to a thirty-year-old song.) (Marla)

173. Looking forward to date night. (Alison)

174. Bright colors. (Meredith)

175. Tropical scented anything. (Victoria)

176. Laughing by a campfire with friends and family (Genevieve)

177. Forehead kisses. (Kristin)

178. Being in an airport. (Megan)

179. Watching the sun set through trees from a hammock. (Lauren)

180. When I make a little list of the things I am grateful for. (Heather)

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay

As part of my Life List, I’m photographing all the public libraries in San Francisco.

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Library Portraits Project: Mission Bay | Mighty Girl

Right now, the California Library Association is trying to restore $15.2 million in State funding in hopes of preventing the loss of $16 million in Federal funding. I know how much all of us love books, so please take a minute to write a letter or two in support of restoring funding. All the information you need is here. Let’s do this thing.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Library Portraits Project: Main Branch
Library Portraits Project: Golden Gate Valley Branch
Library Portraits Project: Potrero Branch
Library Images from Around the World
Eight Books that Changed Things for Me
Life Lessons in Literature

Life List Idea: Eat a Beautiful Meal Alone

Life List Idea: Eat a Beautiful Meal Alone | Mighty Girl

I’ve eaten alone at restaurants a few times. Twice I was in New York after the long flight from San Francisco made me too irritable for companionship, but too hungry to sleep.

I rarely think to feed myself well when I’m alone — it seems indulgent. Before my most recent trip to New York, I’d slept maybe two hours in as many days. My plan was to drop luggage, shovel Chipotle at my face, and succumb to the impending stroke.

Fish | Mighty Girl

In my search for fast food, I happened on Gramercy Tavern. It looked so quiet and merciful, I went inside.

Anna was my waitress; she asked me how I was. I told her I’d just flown in, and she welcomed me back home, which seemed about right. My exhaustion made everything acute, kinder than usual.

I ordered a warm tomato salad to start, then the fish. The tomatoes had been softened in a small blessing of bacon fat. I finished both plates by tearing off a bite of bread, spearing it with my fork, and sopping up the sauce.

Sundae | Mighty Girl

Dessert was a peculiar sundae, the first night of the summer they were serving it, and it was a busy night for Anna because regulars had been waiting. On the back page of my novel, I recorded its components:

Blueberry Corn Ice Cream Sundae
• sweet corn ice cream
• blueberry compote with whole corn kernels
• fresh blueberries
• caramel popcorn
• unsweetened whipped cream

Sweet Thursday with Tea | Mighy Girl

As a kid, I lived in a house with a Verbena tree near the front door, and it smelled of lemons when you brushed against it. So I ordered the Verbena tisane, and finished another chapter of my book.

Everything tasted compassionate, specific to me. I assume meals like that are why people become chefs, to leave people feeling cared for and well fed. I did.

You should have one of these nights too. Add it to your Life List: Take yourself out to dinner. And when the day arrives, sit down at your table knowing you’re in good company.

Would you ever eat alone?

If you like this post, you might also like my roundup of 100 Things Worth Doing:
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV