Category: categories

This blog is my new best friend. I stole this from An Entirely Other Day:

“The high school near my house recently started
smelling like sperm. Two possible reasons
spring to mind:

  • There are these trees surrounding the
    parking lot — big carob trees, Ceratonia
    siliqua — and in the Fall their fruit drops
    and starts to rot. One popular description
    of the resulting smell is “human
    ejaculant.”
  • The students are back on campus.I’m not sure which theory disturbs me more.”

    4:42 p.m.

    • I’ve been reading Russian poetry, which explains the two downer posts in a row. Observe. My sensitive side emerges. Anyway, here’s an excerpt:

    What power a man has

    Who doesn’t ask for tenderness!

    I cannot lift my tired eyes

    When he speaks my name.

    -Anna Ankhmatova

    11:53 a.m.

    The credit for catching this blunder goes to Bryan Hillebrandt, copy editing hun:

    “The labels would allow their entire catalog to be available
    for download, using the files that already preside on their customers computers…”

    5:01 p.m.

    EMAIL MOMENT!

    From: A college friend.

    Situation: Describing a couple he met at a party.

    “There’s a definite lack of any humanness to these people, or
    as Jonathan Lethem says, ‘they do not posses a correct amount of self
    loathing; thus, it is my duty to loathe them.'”

    11:15 a.m.

    Kid Rock is suing his wife for child support payments because she wants visitation rights with their son. The guy isn’t exactly struggling, but I agree with his reasoning. Mr… Rock has had custody of the boy for the last five years and says he wants the mother to “take some responsibility.” Listen, when someone who calls himself Kid Rock has to tell you to take some responsibility for your own offspring, it’s time to reassess.

    12:27 p.m.

    The best part of an article I just read on a boy named Sho who is attending college at age nine:

    By the end of the day, his jeans pockets are full of the things he has collected: dead bugs and flowers, brown leaves and pebbles, dry twigs and grass. He talks to his father about philosophy, starts behaving when his mother threatens a “time out,”and ignores questions he thinks are too insignificant to answer.

    10:32 a.m.

    For all the guys who were feeling left out when I posted the fake nipple site, I present to you penisenvy.com:

    “You can do something about your small penis! Are you tired of meeting attractive women only to find out they are into well hung guys? Are you
    tired of women who don’t want anything smaller than 7 or 8 inches? Do you want to be hung like a
    horse? Do you want to enlarge your penis? Well now you can.”

    1:27 p.m.