I’m on the train this morning when I start paying attention to what I’m thinking. It goes like this, “Picante picante picante picante picante.” I must have read it on a sign somewhere.

After noting that my at-rest mental processes are those of a five year old, I start thinking of other words that stick in my head:

gouache

Donahue

torpor

punctilio

albondigasThat last one is the spanish word for meatballs. Albondigas, albondigas, albondigas.
4:43 p.m.

This morning I found a key on the sidewalk. As a firm believer in the tenets of English Lit, I expect an epiphany shortly.

11:30 a.m.

Last night I went to an ’80s bar where they had two rooms. One was for the Madonna-Prince boppers, one for the Morrisey-Cure ghoulies. Anyway, I was headed past the bar when I got shoved into this guy. We looked at each other for a second, and he grabbed my shoulder:

Guy: Do I know you?

Me: Yep.

Guy: From where?

Me: Sacramento.

Guy: Yeah! Where did we meet?

Me: You were the stripper at my birthday party.

Guy: Ha! Right!

Me: What are you doing in the city?

Guy: I’m an investment banker.

Of course.

9:29 a.m.

This is an excerpt from an email to my friend Jeff, who asked my opinion on the election:

I only follow politics marginally, and I don’t identify with either party. I believe in smaller government (Libertarian/Republican stuff), but am more idealistic than most Republicans, probably owing to my age. I’m voting for Gore because:

a. I like his commitment to the environment, and his leanings toward gun control.

b. George Bush doesn’t strike me as particularly bright or experienced. It’s true that he has good advisors, but what happens when they disagree and he has to make the deciding vote? My impression stems mostly from his ill treatment of the press and his inability to interact diplomatically with them under pressure. I see national politics as a great big version of campus politics and I covered campus elections in college. The people who were jerks to me made bad politicians once they got elected. The people who were nice were much more effective because they were able to sway people to their point of view. I would have had a much tougher decision to make if they’d nominated McCain instead.

c. Bush has done a pretty cruddy job in Texas. They’ve made some advances, but Texas is pretty much last in education, health care, and environmental stuff. Last in everything but capital punishment, in which they’re first. Bush is a -huge- proponent of capital punishment. That brings me to my next point.

d. Capital punishment. I used to support it wholeheartedly until DNA testing started turning up innocent people on death row. I think if there’s a chance that even one innocent person will lose his or her life, it’s barbaric. Also, from a pragmatic standpoint, it costs more for us to kill people than it costs for us to imprison them for the rest of their lives.

e. I haven’t even considered Nader because very few, if any, Republicans will vote for him and he has no chance of winning. Therefore, voting for Nader is effectively voting for Bush. However, if a certain percentage of voters vote for him, that creates a third political party. For some people, it will be worth “wasting” their vote in this election for the chance of having more candidate choices in the future. I don’t agree because I don’t think more parties are the answer, I think campaign finance reform would do a lot more to increase our selection.

There you have it. Not entirely scientific, but that’s me.

10:58 a.m.

I’ve been seeing this image in the subway, except the posters there have about ten giant purple pills floating around the elated woman. First it freaked me out, then I thought it was hilarious, now I realize that there’s not nearly enough advertising featuring old women twirling amid floating pills. Ad world, how about it? More floating-pill, purple-ballgown, joyful-old-lady ads, please.

10:45 a.m.

Oh man, I love being a copy editor:

“In its current incantation, BSS sends a user to the best site through DNS requests and responses.”

3:44 p.m.

Ever since the Monica Lewinsky thing, I’ve occasionally seen this guy walking down Market Street with a sign that reads, “IMPEACH CLINTON.” It says some other stuff below, but I never bothered to read it. I figured the guy was just a political freak. Well, after several months passed and he was still around, I started to wonder why. This morning I read most of the rest of his sign before the bus moved along:

IMPEACH CLINTON

Nine Galaxies

United in protest.

1:04 p.m.

Just realized something. I really don’t like people coming into my cube unless a) They’re my very good friend or b) I’m in the ongoing process of hitting on them. However, people who aren’t in either of those categories always wander in to stand in back of me while I type. They ask, “Whatcha upto? Hey, Maggie, whatcha upto?” Of course, they already know what I’m up to because… they’re reading my screen. They also like to move stuff around and say, “Hey look! Your Pez dispensers are having sex!” Then I have to put on my that’s-really-funny! face so they’ll leave.

11:43 a.m.

Body Metrics

I was reading a women’s magazine article about how to dress flatteringly. It had tips for women who have issues with their torsos–too long or too short. Apparently I missed that chapter in the chick book because this is a whole category that I don’t obsess about. I know lots of women who worry that their boobs are too small or their butt is too big, but I have never, ever heard two guys at a bar say:

“She’s hot.”

“Yeah, but her torso’s all messed up.”

“Whoa…you’re right. I didn’t notice until she took off the jacket.”

11:57 a.m.

Everyone was sneezing on the bus this morning. The guy behind me kept coughing, and I could feel the little bursts of tepid lung-air on the back of my neck. I kept thinking about that Stephen King book where everyone in the world starts getting colds and then all of them die, except there’s a few hundred people left who form two camps. One is good, one is evil, and near the end of the book they have a battle royale for the fate of humanity.

11:49 a.m.