Category: My Life

I’m back from my road trip, and as soon as I get my photos developed I’ll have some doozies for the butts across America site.


1:49 p.m.

My struggle as a censored poet continues. Here’s the latest renka the magazine wouldn’t publish and one haiku that made it in:

Virtuoso Optimizer

3D graphics tool
Lets shoppers "see, touch, and feel"
E-commerce products.

That�s what their site says.
The statement�s implications
Aren�t all G-rated.

Symantec Enterprise Security

Security tool
Blah blah modular blah blah
Go look at their site.

2:25 p.m.

My friend’s ex-boyfriend is getting married to a girl who says she only looks for three things in a man, “Laughter, Comfort, and Music.”

Romantic philosophy, or the title of John Tesh’s new Christmas album?

3:15 p.m.

EMAIL MOMENT!

To: Me

From: An old college friend who just got a new place.

Scenario: I just asked for his new address and phone number.

Excerpt: p.s. If you need an easy way of remembering our phone number, just remember
that it spells KGSOH XI. You’re on your own remembering the area code
though.

4:17 p.m.

We’re on press deadline and our Web production editor just sent this out.

Subject: What I tell people I do.

“I’m but a serf in the corporate feudal system. I toil in a cube farm, tending
to several Web sites. But my life is not without joy. During the day my fellow
cube dwellers may take a break from the glaring fluorescent lights over us and
the CRTs in front of us, and someone may pull out a tinwhistle or an MP3 player
and break into a little tune. We may smile a little and, if for a moment, forget
our carpal tunnel aches. Today is an especially busy time, so the lords may add
a handful of hay to our beds or a couple more potatoes to the Indian curry we’ve
ordered online. The weekend allows little reprieve as at the end of the day I
will strap the trusty laptop to my back and continue to wipe the sweat from my
brow tomorrow and the next day. We are but simple folk and hopefully one day I
will have accrued enough in my 401K to free myself from these chains.”

11:20 a.m.

I’ve been yawning a lot today, which probably only means I’m tired. However, I suspect that the oxygen/CO2 ratio in the office is out of whack. They’re giving us just enough air to function, but not enough to organize a revolt.

Then again, I also worry that the metal detectors at the library are slowly rearranging my intestines.

3:27 p.m.