Eavesdropping. Three lines from the first date unfolding at the bar:
1. “I mean, I don’t have anything against China or anything.”
2. “That’s the kind of vampire I like.”
3. “Do you really think that if you, like, 100 percent believe you won’t die, you won’t die?”
Girlfriends in conversation:
-Oh. They’re cute.
-I like the awkward one. Surprise. I should just have that engraved on my tombstone.