While we were at SxSW, Laura and I threw a Mobile Manners brunch with Intel. We gathered a group of very smart women to eat quiche and text one other about the irritating things people do with their gadgets.
Genevieve Bell, an Intel Fellow who studies how different cultures use technology, presented some of their mobile etiquette research.
During Genevieve’s presentation, I tweeted while she was talking (event hashtag, FTW), checked in to Foursquare, and texted with a person sitting two tables away from me. Afterward, I drove around town looking for a funeral parlor, because I’ve heard those are nice quiet places to make phone calls.
Everyone else was the picture of civility, even when the gift bags came out.
Now that’s some good home training.
The bags were a team effort amongst attendees, and as always we saved one for you. Maile brought her gorgeous Epiphanie Bags, and I set aside the Clover Laptop and Camera Bag in grey, which is the one I carry. Everywhere. And sometimes I spoon with it. It looks like this:
Elizabeth works for Twitter, but also has a letterpress business called Paperwheel Press. She brought everyone a couple of geeky letterpress thank you notes:
And finally, Intel threw in a copy of Emily Post’s Great Get Togethers:
To win, please leave your pinky out when you sip your tea, and leave your most profound mobile etiquette peeve in comments.
Please only enter once; I’ll leave comments open until Monday when I’ll announce the winner. I hope it’s you.
Mighty Girl 
I have a multitude of annoyances, but my current one are the folks who walk their dogs, off leash, and spent the entire time on their phones and do not wrangle their dogs (or pick up after them) but live in their bubble of conversation and forget that they have a dog at all. Put down the phone, pay attention to your dogs, please. They’re eating my dogs! And me. And leaving poop on the sidewalk.
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Happy to throw my name in the hat on this one!
Re: tweeting and other mobile habits, it’s really at the dinner table that I have a tough time with this one. I know you want to share your awesome steak in port reduction sauce to the world, but…HEY I’m talking to you over here!
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fantastic bag!
pet peeve any form of using numbers in words. ie gr8t, seriously just go ahead and type the word already. how lazy can you be? and yes, i know that i’m not using capital letters so apparently i am too lazy to use the shift. point taken.
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I’m peeved when phone-ers sit on the packed commuter train and chew gum while having loud, long conversations about their child’s therapist and football schedule. Despite the book in your hand and the use of a refined glare technique…no such luck in shutting them up.
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Ridiculously fab bag! …And I’ve got to join the chorus for texting at the dinner table or when out with friends… Unless it’s actually an emergency, really… am I not company enough for you? Sigh.
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I haven’t even read any of these posts, but I think I have the trump card.
I have the opposite experience – and it’s the person who is irritated that really is the irritator (hahaha).
Sooo. Envision this. You work for a coffee company as a barista, or you are a server at a quirky nice restaurant, or you are a mountaintop cafeteria person… Or you are a sales clerk who approaches a customer. So, basically, you’ve got the picture. Nowwwww. Envision this. You approach or speak to someone who is texting or fiddling with their gadget. And this someone doesn’t stop to answer your query of “What would you like today” (or secretly “What the hell do you want, let me guess, a coffee that isn’t just a coffee but has fifty different alterations to make).
Okay so the customer is incredibly rude and doesn’t even look up to get served, dude!
Then, the customer presents her gadget and you’re all like, “What the hell? Yeah – obviously – your gadget is of utmost importance. I have eyes, I can see!”.
When you take a break from RME OMG thoughts, you look at the phone and you see,
“I’d like an Americano”
or
“Can I get a veggie burger and fries”
or
“Where’s the washroom”
or
“Is this on sale”
or
“Can I get some help here?”
So, you end up having a moment of clarity (or feeling like a jerk, that happens too).
You’ve probably got a Deaf customer on your hands. Who is saving you from having to find a paper and pen (that’s another story for another day!).
Thus, the irritated becomes the irritator.
We deal with this kind of RME reaction everyday but most of those RME’s end up in winningly beautiful smiles that make up for the durrrrrr moments.
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That’s a beautiful bag! I’m not terribly annoyed by mobile devices, but there are a few things about them that make me feel sad. I feel sad when I see parents out with their kids, like at the park, but they’re absorbed in their phone. It makes me sad (OK, annoyed too) to sit and talk with a friend who I haven’t seen in a long time, and she stops to answer each text message she gets while we’re talking. Finally, I feel sad to see teenagers walking side by side or in groups of three or four, and they’re all staring into their phones. I honestly feel like they’re missing out on great opportunities to connect face to face.
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Hmm…so many of these are ringing true for me. But i think one of my biggest pet peeves is when you’re trying to have a conversation or simply just interact with someone and they can never quite look you in the eyes because they are still reading their feeds or email or twitter on their phones. I’ve been guilty of that a time or two, as well. Another thing I absolutely *hate* is text speak. Seriously people. Learn to spell! It drives me bonkers the way people abbreviate and lack punctuation when they are texting.
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My dearly loved sister and I live four hours apart and yet she still spends almost every moment we spend together playing with her iPhone. I feel like I’m stuck in that “Really?” commercial.
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my pet peeve is texting at a meal with other people. kind of rude and distracting!
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Absorption! I live in New York, and I notice that as subway riders are walking up the stairs back to above-ground level they check to see if they received any messages while in the no-reception underground. So often people just stop mid-staircase — mid-staircase! — to reply to a text. This is New York — you’ve got to keep moving!
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Overhearing people’s phone conversations in a public space (but non-appropriate phone call space – like a restaurant) is bad enough, but when the person is being clearly and inappropriately rude to the other person – it makes me want to give that person a lesson in manners right there.
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Yelling. Always yelling. Just because the person you’re talking to is far away, does not mean you need to scream for them to hear you.
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I hate it when I see a mom and their kid having lunch. Kid looks off into space, Mom is on her phone.
Great bag!
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Excessive texting bothers me, especially when in a small conversation of two or three people.
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I am quite peeved by most any inter-communication over intra-communication, the assertion that other relationships are more valuable or desirable than the one in present time/space.
Also the importance that some people place on instantaneous response. It may take me more than an hour to respond, I just don’t work that way.
Awesome bag, thanks for putting it together!
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Not answering your emails in a timely manner, especially when you’ve told me that you’ve read them!
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People who talk on the phone while using the restroom. If I’m in there while it’s happening, I flush on purpose so the person on the other line will realize what a disgusting person the other one is. That’s probably childish of me, but I can’t stand it.
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Worst thing ever is someone texting while having a conversation with you. How rude! I also hate when people talk on the phone while paying for something. It’s rude to the cashier.
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My worst peeve is when I call someone’s cell, and while I’m leaving a message they call me – witout waiting to see if I left a voice mail. Then when I answer their call they say “Someone called me from this number!” Soooo aggravating! 😛
Thank you for doing such an incredible giveaway! Epiphanie bags are so beautiful!
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People mixing up “reply” and “reply all” to messages! hate it
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I dislike, dislike, dislike!! when you are with someone and they are constantly texting or on the phone when you are with them. It makes me feel as if I am not good enough company for them and they must converse with someone else.
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I hate beingin a position where I hear the personal busines of a total stranger because they are talking so loudly you can’t help but know. It is so rude and sometimes embarrasing for those within hearing distance. Keep your personal business private! We don’t want to know…but I sure would love to win this camera bag!!!
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While having dinner with a friend and their husband/family calls a million times and they HAVE to call them back….”don’t forget to ……” good grief already!
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My biggest pet peeve… er, at the risk of sounding peevish, it’s getting peevish at other people’s etiquette lapses. Try to put yourself in that person’s shoes! Try to remember your own occasional lapses! And, if that doesn’t soothe the savage beast inside you, bitch righteously on your favorite message board and then let it go.
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I have two, hope it’s okay:)
I HATE Bluetooth earpiece wearers. I work in a school and a few parents will come in to pick up their child/conference/etc. and be talking to the secretary when suddenly they aren’t because they’re talking to the voice in their ear. Seriously?! Step away from work for two minutes dude:).
And (don’t tell anyone this secret) a person who is very dear to me is attached to his smartphone like a lifeline. We can’t even watch tv together anymore because said person is reading stories on apps/facebooking/emailing and not paying attention. Whenever I comment on the show, ask said person a question, or something equally involved I get stone cold silence or a delayed “huh?” Makes. Me. Crazy!
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A certain family member of mine always hangs up before the conversation is over! It’ll be like, “Hey, could you please pick me up at xyz…?” “OK. *click*” “…in a few hours?”
If I haven’t said bye, then this convo ain’t through!
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My biggest peeve is when you are having a “girls” lunch and your girlfriend is texting every few minutes… Emergencies are understandable, but wait till you go potty or something just FOCUS for an hour and relax (I am guilty of this as well sometimes lol).
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Any cell phone activity at the dinner table. It’s like saying you people who are right here with me? You are nowhere near as interesting as the person on the other end of this phone.
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I don’t like when other people check me into places or post photos of me there while I am still there. I find that on the outside it looks really clubbish and on the inside it feels like an invasion of privacy. You don’t know what excuses or arrangements I might have had to make to others to be where I am, so I’d prefer to have control over the publicity of it myself.
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A couple – think I read it above, but when people call you back when you text – normally text b.c not able to talk at that moment.
Secondly, people speaking loudly in public places, text or finish the call outside. I don’t like other people’s perfume in my personal space, so stands to reason their loud voice bothers me as well. Bah – I’m turning into my mother!
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Just… Loud musical ringtones. My brother, who’s undergoing chemo, waits around for his chair to open, and those really, really loud phones get his boxers in a wad.
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One word text messages. If you’re going to cost me 10 cents, at least please leave me a message. Just saying “Hey” makes me want to charge you for the message instead.
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Phones at the breakfast/lunch/dinner table. Pulling them out tells your companions that you have no interest in them or the meal!
Might seem harsh, and obviously there are some exceptions, but that’s modern etiquette for you!
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When my husband texts while in church (even my teenager knows that’s a big no-no).
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Gosh that back is gorgeous! I’d love to have something that stylish on my arm!
My biggest tech pet peeve? Texting while driving. Silly AND dangerous!
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the “K” response is one of my pet peeves…
and when I am having a conversation with someone and their phone keeps ringing either from an incoming call or message and they keep ignoring it, just mute the phone or answer it.
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I know it has been mentioned a number of times already, but my biggest pet peeve is when someone with whom I am having an in-person conversation starts texting.
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When people are talking on their phone when they are interacting with someone else in a service position. We are all human, treat others like you would treat yourself. Honestly, they really do appreciate it. :0)
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Texting or talking on the phone while driving…both illegal where I live, but you might not know it to look at drivers.
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Biggest pet peave is when you are out with a friend and they have a new (or old) significant other that literally has to check in every 3 minutes. Not exagerating. You can’t have a conversation because a new text is coming in that has to be responded to immediately. The first 3 or 4, I’m just ignoring it, but after 10 to 15 times…Seriously?
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I can’t stand it when I call someone, and they ignore the call then immediately text back to see what I wanted. Seriously? If it’s not during work hours, or they aren’t busy… it just seems rude. It would take less time, and be more fun, to just pick up, say hi, and hang up after 30 seconds. Silly kids.
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Wow. Is ‘all of the above’ a suitable answer? I think what bugs me the most is when people are on the phone while shopping – just strolling about the store while chatting. I understand you may have to call and verify what items you need to pick up, but then end the call.
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The INCIDENT that bothered me most gadget related was the afternoon my boss decided to treat my co-worker on her birthday with lunch and invited a few more of us.
Well it would have been nice if she could have gotten off the freaking cell phone for at least PART of it.
Sitting in a tiny tea house all squished in together did not help. Her talking loudly on the phone pretty much dominated ALL of the conversation the entire meal. Rude, rude, rude.
I felt sorry for the birthday girl. A bonus or gift card would have been a whole lot nicer than taken out for lunch and ignored with an audience. And she was making SOCIAL calls to plan a party! Completely disrespectful.
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People who begin epic text message conversations and don’t put their phones on silent (silent, not vibrate because everyone around you can still hear your phone vibrating). I don’t mind chronic texters who are always typing away at their phones, I’m guilty of that myself. But if you are getting into with someone and going back and forth the rest of us don’t need to hear that annoying ‘ding ding’ every 20 seconds.
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it drives me crazy when i’m on the train in brooklyn with friends and it goes above ground (F train to coney island for example) and then whoever i’m with immediately starts messing around with their fancy phone and i feel like i’m commuting with no one to talk to. sadness.
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I hate when people make unnecessary (and drawn out) phone calls while riding in a car I’m driving. We’re riding together to hang out; I’m not your chauffeur. Why are you yakking to someone else if you came along to spend QT with me? It wouldn’t be such a big deal if I could get away from it, but while strapped into 2,000 pounds of moving machinery, I can’t exactly up and walk away and do my own thing, can’t make my own phone call (dueling voices), or listen to the radio (lest the talker get EVEN LOUDER to compensate). To quote Cathy, Ack!
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Talking LOUDLY on the phone in a public place – as if everyone else wants to hear your conversation?!!? And texting while you’re sitting with someone – at lunch, dinner, or anything. It’s as if you’re whispering to someone else about the person you’re with – RUDE!
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I don’t like it when folks text while driving — does that count? Thanks for the giveaway.
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I hate when I am out with a friend and they keep their phone on the table and check their messages constantly. Oh, and text while we’re talking. Come on! A couple of hours not using your phone shouldn’t be that freaking hard!
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