While we were at SxSW, Laura and I threw a Mobile Manners brunch with Intel. We gathered a group of very smart women to eat quiche and text one other about the irritating things people do with their gadgets.
Genevieve Bell, an Intel Fellow who studies how different cultures use technology, presented some of their mobile etiquette research.
During Genevieve’s presentation, I tweeted while she was talking (event hashtag, FTW), checked in to Foursquare, and texted with a person sitting two tables away from me. Afterward, I drove around town looking for a funeral parlor, because I’ve heard those are nice quiet places to make phone calls.
Everyone else was the picture of civility, even when the gift bags came out.
Now that’s some good home training.
The bags were a team effort amongst attendees, and as always we saved one for you. Maile brought her gorgeous Epiphanie Bags, and I set aside the Clover Laptop and Camera Bag in grey, which is the one I carry. Everywhere. And sometimes I spoon with it. It looks like this:
Elizabeth works for Twitter, but also has a letterpress business called Paperwheel Press. She brought everyone a couple of geeky letterpress thank you notes:
And finally, Intel threw in a copy of Emily Post’s Great Get Togethers:
To win, please leave your pinky out when you sip your tea, and leave your most profound mobile etiquette peeve in comments.
Please only enter once; I’ll leave comments open until Monday when I’ll announce the winner. I hope it’s you.
Mighty Girl 
People who drive and text or talk sans hands free device. Frightening and annoying.
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My beloved husband is completely comfortable telling me he’s in a meeting if I call him and he is. But when he gets a call, work or personal, on his cell phone when we’re in the middle of a conversation, he doesn’t say “hey, now’s not a great time, can I call you back?” The cell phone completely preempts any in-person interaction. I find this especially irksome in restaurants, for whatever reason.
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I find it’s really difficult to keep my cool when someone is wantonly scrolling through their ringtone options in a public space. MIDI calypso at top volume will make me homicidal.
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Texting/playing games on your phone while in line to check out at the store (which inevitably leads to not noticing when the line moves), and even more so if you keep texting/playing games when it’s your turn at the register!
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I don’t hate it, but it’s folks look quite silly when walking around a public place talking into an earpiece you cannot see. So they are looking at you and making appropriate faces and saying “oh so how are you” and they aren’t talking to you. I’ve almost answered several people I thought were talking with me.
Texting/whatever even looking at your phone while on a date. I’ve seen it happen and know the relationship is doomed. I call my husbands phone ‘the other woman’. There is a time and place and when it’s intimate – put the phone away (unless you’re using it to take pictures).
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I’m an English teacher, so I’d have to say that texting during lectures is…annoying.
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It drives me nuts when people are on the phone when ordering food or paying at a register. You should be nice to the people dealing with your food/purchases!
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Mine is simple and old school, really: Please don’t conduct long conversations or business meetings on your phone at the coffee shop. I don’t want to hear that you forgot to buy dog food or already applied for the permit to hang a disco ball in the city center. Ok, so, maybe I’d eavesdrop on that last one but seriously, take the conversation outside.
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I am bothered by most by grooming on the bus. I mean especially, (toe)nail clipping, plucking and flossing.
I must move or get off the bus.
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My doctor checked his email during a consult with me. I thought it might be something, you know, important. Then he tells me it’s his wife sending him a joke. REALLY? I’m looking for another doctor.
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To me, etiquette is about being thoughtful of those around you with an eye towards making everyone’s experience (including one’s own) as comfortable and pleasant as possible. So I’ve got two pet peeves which, for me, are related: 1. when the person I’m talking to won’t let me off the phone. We’re friends! I like you! That’s why we’re talking but I have the REAL WORLD with which to interact and you are getting in the way because . . . 2. I don’t like private/cell phone chatting inside public places really at all. Sure, a quick logistics call from the grocery store or a bus is okay with me, but even if we’re strangers, we’re strangers sharing a space and I’d like us to be a little more thoughtful toward one another in that regard. The result, in my world, is way too much standing in the rain or on the corner trying to get OFF the phone (which is a pain in the neck).
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I really hate when people text and check their phones while I am trying to talk face-to-face with them.
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I think it is terribly rude when people talk on the phone while going through a line and paying for something in a store. It’s just a second, get off your phone and look the person helping you in the eye and say THANK YOU DAMNIT.
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I hate it when a dinner companion is constantly texting. Once? Sure. Twice? Maybe. More than that? No thanks.
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I hate when I’m having a get together with a friend and their phone has to be on the table at all times or in their hands so they can respond to every little piece that comes in.
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Beyond texting at the table while out to dinner with friends, what really puts me over the edge is when SAID person “subtly” shows the text to the friend next to them, chuckles, and then acts like nothing is going on. GRRRR even typing it makes my shoulders bristle.
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Is it really too much to ask that you, my lovely coworker on the other side of the cubical wall, step away from your desk (and in effect mine!) to have that fight with your brother when he asks for money again, consult with your lawyer about the restraining order your ex took out on you, make a gynecologist appointment for your wife, contest that overdraft fee with the bank, etc. etc.?? Just because we can’t make eye contact does not mean you are alone.
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Mine is when friends use Facebook Wall posts to discuss upcoming plans that not all close friends have been included in…nice way to use social networking to make someone feel like a social outcast. Facebook has private messaging capabilities ya know?
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Yelling on the Metro – “I’m underground! Can you hear me? Hello?? HELLO??? CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
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I had a friend who was horrible with this and I honestly think it contributed to the end of the friendship (as it was a symptom of the greater disease which was her EXTREME self centeredness) – she would text constantly, while we would be having a face to face conversation. The thing is, I understand having to send a text or two or answering a call if its important, but she would just nonsense text the entire time, which something you do when you’re bored. It was so rude and I would ask her to stop and she wouldn’t. She would even do it when I was talking to her about something really important or something I was upset about. The worst.
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The worst? In the midst of dinner/conversation/revealing some big secret, the offender yanks out their phone and reveals that they’re not really paying much attention to you.
That, and the mid-meal “I gotta post this to facebook” thing. Nobody cares!
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When people reply unnecessarily to a txt, or end a txt conversation with a unneeded response. Usually it’s things like “ok,” “yes” and “fine” which add nothing and are just plain annoying in a medium where the whole point is to stick to essentials.
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My biggest peeve is when people make a call to me when they know they are about to loose service. Couldn’t you please just wait? 🙂
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perusing a store which would otherwise be quiet if not for the person speaking louder than needed while on their mobile phone. i miss the quiet.
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In this day and age, almost everything that we now do would have once been considered rude! However, what I think is rude is when someone calls you on your cell phone two or three times in a row and, then, after not getting you, calls your home phone (if you have one anymore) or your significant other’s cell phone to find out where you are! It’s like, seriously, you don’t NEED to get a hold of me whenever YOU want! 😉 P.S. I just love that gray Clover bag!
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Calling from the bathroom. I really do not need to hear someone while they are going potty. That call can definitely wait.
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when you’re in a public restroom and someone’s phone rings and they ANSWER IT. are you kidding? it’s nasty. go wash your hands, lady.
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When someone takes a call during our conversation…specifically when the call appears less important than our conversation. I hate to sound too harsh but at my house kids/teenagers are not allowed to use their phones during family gatherings. I know they hate it but we had too many occasions of the couch lined with kids on phones and adults talking in another room. Sometimes I wish I could apply to same rule to adults!
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Like everyone else, being ignored for the allure of a mobile device.
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My tech pet peeve? People chatting it up on their cell phones in the restroom at my office. Seriously, there are some places technology does not belong.
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In any situation where your attention should be on someone else – the person or people with whom you’ve made plans, a customer service person, the person giving a presentation, etc. – your attention should be on that person! Not your phone. It’s just the same as turning your back to the person or saying out loud “I don’t value you enough to give you my attention.” You’d never do either of those things, so why would you think it’s OK to ignore someone by checking facebook or texting while they are talking to you?
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Oh goodness, where to start? A recent one for me has been the gym and the smartphone collide! An obvious one is not silencing your phone during a class, and then going as far as to have your conversation during class. This is especially annoying if it is a quieter class, such as yoga. And the end of class is used for meditation and relaxation.
Another one is when people get on a cardio machine during the really busy time at the gym and then obliviously spend more than the polite 20-30 minutes surfing the web, texting, talking, etc.
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People talking on their phones whilst conducting a transaction with a person. It is acceptable to chat on your cell at an ATM, unacceptable to do so while interacting with a banker. Same goes for cashiers, librarians (cell phones in the library is an entirely different rant) and any other person. Hang up for a minute, and be human.
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I think it has to be talking on a cell phone at dinner. I do it every now and then, but I try my best to avoid it since it drives me crazy when others do it.
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Oh. So many to choose from. My biggest pet peeve? When having a face-to-face conversation with a group of friends, and two of them are texting EACH OTHER. They think they are being so subtle, but when one puts his phone away and the other’s phone beeps? Not so subtle.
Plus? It’s RUDE.
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I hate it when I’m with someone (coffee, dinner, whatever) and they HAVE to check their phone everytime it buzzes. The world won’t end if you wait 5 minutes to check your email/text.
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Model proper cell etiquette AROUND KIDS. Especially no devices at meals.
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I can’t stand when people talk on the phone while checking out at any store. It drives me insane!
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My peeve is when I am talking to a friend, and they pull out an iPhone or iProduct and get on facebook or twitter. THERE’S A REAL FRIEND RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!
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An etiquette faux pas that boils my blood is the person who talks on the phone while interacting with a cashier and simulatneously tries to mouth their order or use some variation of sign language that no one else can interpret.
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My pet peeve is when people send long involved texts instead of just calling to discuss the matter. I love texting for short to the point things, but if you have a bunch of questions that aren’t simple yes or no than I would appreciate a call! Otherwise it’s just a bunch of unnecessary back and forth!
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When my teenagers are texting each other and they’re sitting in the same room. Rather than just look up and say something, they text it. Really? You are sitting on the same piece of furniture!
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Oh so many of these. When someone starts speaking to you with a phone up to their ear. Is there someone on the line already? Are you talking to me or just looking at me? What do I do?!
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restroom calls, hands down. How does your customer/client/significant other feel when they hear you flush? Ick. Plus, how germy is your gadget now?
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If you text during a class I (and any other teacher) should have the right to take your phone, place it on my desk, and SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER.
Because confiscation and docked grades just isn’t working.
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Texting while driving. It’s worse than drunk driving. Want to spend time in jail for manslaughter? Text while you drive! Not cool.
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Mine is talking on a cell phone in a restroom. Eew.
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I know it’s already ben mentioned once or twice, but texting/talking on the phone at meals, especially at a restaurant. If you must attend to it, please excuse yourself and go outside. But really, it can wait. I, the supposed object of your affection, will not.
Plus? RUDE. I know your mama raised you better.
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My personal pet peeve is when people answer their phone during a movie and then in a hushed but still clearly audible voice say “I’m in a movie. I can’t talk right now.” Just let it go to voicemail! 🙂
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I fear for my life when a friend texts while driving and I’m in the car! I offer to help her… mostly to save my own life.
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