While we were at SxSW, Laura and I threw a Mobile Manners brunch with Intel. We gathered a group of very smart women to eat quiche and text one other about the irritating things people do with their gadgets.
Genevieve Bell, an Intel Fellow who studies how different cultures use technology, presented some of their mobile etiquette research.
During Genevieve’s presentation, I tweeted while she was talking (event hashtag, FTW), checked in to Foursquare, and texted with a person sitting two tables away from me. Afterward, I drove around town looking for a funeral parlor, because I’ve heard those are nice quiet places to make phone calls.
Everyone else was the picture of civility, even when the gift bags came out.
Now that’s some good home training.
The bags were a team effort amongst attendees, and as always we saved one for you. Maile brought her gorgeous Epiphanie Bags, and I set aside the Clover Laptop and Camera Bag in grey, which is the one I carry. Everywhere. And sometimes I spoon with it. It looks like this:
Elizabeth works for Twitter, but also has a letterpress business called Paperwheel Press. She brought everyone a couple of geeky letterpress thank you notes:
And finally, Intel threw in a copy of Emily Post’s Great Get Togethers:
To win, please leave your pinky out when you sip your tea, and leave your most profound mobile etiquette peeve in comments.
Please only enter once; I’ll leave comments open until Monday when I’ll announce the winner. I hope it’s you.
Mighty Girl 
I’ve recently decided with all the other options people have to get in touch with me, CALLING me, on the actual phone is RUDE. I can’t stand it. I think it might evolve out of the fact that I used to answer phones for a living. I can’t imagine I’m alone on this one?
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For me its the obvious one. Having to BART for an hour each way to work, its the people sitting directly next to you yelling at someone through the phone. This is especially annoying in the morning. Who could possibly be yelling to at 6am in the morning? *sigh*
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I loathe when you’re at a theater (movie or otherwise), and someone keeps whipping out their cell phone to check texts/email/time. It’s so distracting – when it’s dark inside and they’ve already asked you to turn off your phones, please stop checking it!
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really long voicemails.
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I do hate when people are talking on the phone while paying for something. I just think it’s rude to the cashier.
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Recently I’ve had ‘gentlemen’ (and i use the term loosely) take out their phones and text during dates. It’s rampant all across LA and it makes me stabby.
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For me, texting while dining… I admit doing it occasionally, but nothing is worse than have a great conversation interrupted by a virtual one.
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My pet peeve? When you’re talking with just one person and they start texting. I’m all for texting people during events, Tweeting, all that. But! Not while you’re in a conversation with me.
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I’m a barista. If you walk up to the counter and order while you’re on the cell phone, I won’t actually punch you, but I will be doing so mentally and repeatedly the entire time I am making your drink. I am not an automaton; I am a human being and would like your full attention while you’re talking to me.
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MMMM pet peeve is when people are on their phone and talk to another person all at the same time and they are having multiple conversations.
Fingers crossed I win!
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It aggravates me to no end when people have long, complicated, loud phone conversations in the dang university library.
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Reverse mobile manners moment: I hate that my in-laws have cell phones but don’t turn them on or answer them – yet I am expected to be on call on the time!
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I’m probably the only person on the planet who doesn’t do email on my phone, so I’m probably alone in this, but it drives me nuts when my husband and I are out and he keeps checking his phone every single time he gets an email.
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If a call is dropped, the person who initiated the call has the responsibility to call the dropped caller BACK.
As the dropped caller, do not continue to try and try and try to reach me back, because my call will then just roll to your voicemail over and over and over once I finally get signal again.
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My absolute biggest mobile etiquette peeve is people on cells in waiting rooms. You know, the ones on their cells who carry on conversations in their usual tone and volume (LOUD) while sitting in the middle of a room full of people who are potentially in pain, febrile, and/or off their anxiety meds.
Yes. That.
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CLIPPING FINGERNAILS. It deserves to be shouted. I once witnessed someone clipping their fingernails during a discussion session of a workshop. It was a relatively informal session, as opposed to a presentation, but still. EW.
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Colleagues that use the phone in the restroom stall. NOT an appropriate place for a phone call. Oh….and the one I am thinking of? Is not calling her daughter! She is calling her client! Eeeek!!
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Checking one’s phone constantly while “interacting” with other human beings. I should note that this habit most peeves me when I do it, but I can’t seem to help myself. Ugh!
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Being a passenger in a car with someone who is texting while driving. It’s just terrifying.
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It really bothers me when family members, at family gatherings, have long–no, EPIC–phone calls in front of the rest of the gathering. Pick one or the other, but don’t involve everyone in the room in the conversation. Take it into the next room, please.
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My biggest technology pet peeve are those people who are talking on the phone while running on the treadmill at the gym. Seriously, if you’re that important you can afford an at-home gym. So get one 😉
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When the person not physically present gets more attention. People who text/email/play games (argh!) during meetings instead of paying attention (and then ask for something to be repeated!!), friends who check whatever during dinner (Facebook will still be there in an hour, but I will go home!), store personnel who answer the phone instead of helping the person who is right there! in the store!
Obviously, I have issues.
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I hate it when my patients (I am a physician) answer their phone or check who texted them while I am examining them. Is no moment too private to be intruded upon by personal technology?! I guess those are the people Jenny is seeing in the waiting room.
And for the first poster: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/20/fashion/20Cultural.html?_r=1&hpw
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For me, it’s checking email while dining out. Especially if it’s just two of us.
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One seemingly inoffensive act that really gets under my skin: When I text someone and they feel the need to call me back. Almost immediately. I texted for a reason, probably because I’m about to be in a meeting or otherwise unable/unwilling to talk. Please respond back in the same manner.
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On the flipside, when you’re having a conversation with someone on the phone while *they* are ordering something from a [insert drive through, Starbucks, etc…]. Hi, I’m pretty sure your double tall latte with no whip can wait till we’re done on the phone.
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I am guilty of texting too often with a dear friend while also spending “quality” time with my dear, dear family and not giving my full attention to either one. It’s a terrible, rude habit that I’m trying to break!
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Talking on the phone and driving. I had a job where we did a lot of site visits and when my boss drove she would talk on the phone and it scared me to death. She was not a good multi-tasker in the car and ran a few stop signs. I ended up just making up excuses not to be in the car with her.
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Amen to all of the previous pet peeves, but for me the worst is the loud caller in a confined public space like a bus or train. I don’t want to hear about your personal life, and neither does the guy sitting all the way down at the other end of the bus.
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Pet peeve … dimwits (almost always women for some reason) who take calls and talk LOUDLY while going through the grocery check out!
Are you that important that you can totally disregard the cashier waiting for you to sign your credit slip and the line of shoppers behind you?
Wow! What a great giftbag. I so need a stylish camera bag that doubles as a purse! Thanks for the giveaway Maggie!
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People who don’t stop talking on their phones when in a packed BART train (or ever, but if you’re quiet and the train is not packed, I’ll live). I recently witnessed an unassuming middle-aged woman speaking into her phone loudly just inches from a man’s ear with no apparent awareness or remorse. And the conversation did not sound urgent! Then, she was visibly put out when the call got dropped in a tunnel. I was relieved.
I love gadgets as much as the next person, but I worry that mobile devices create invisible bubbles that make us more and more oblivious to the humans right next to us.
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People answering their phone while you’re talking to them. It’s one thing if it’s an emergency, but if you pick up and say, “oh, nothing”, I’m going to be pretty offended.
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I hate, hate, hate when people talk loudly on their cellphones when they are at the front of the line in a retail store or coffee shop. Put down the phone and interact with the salesperson! You’re annoying other customers and slowing down the process. *sigh*
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This might be trite, but are we REALLY still living in a time where people think it’s okay to use your phone in a movie theater?
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My darling father has been answering his cell phone without deference to etiquette or polite society since the appearance of the old school brick cell. I have joined hundreds of movie goers in staring him down, and nothing says father daughter bonding time like him answering at the dinner table… on your birthday.
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I hate when I am with two people and they’re playing “words with Friends” with each other. I don’t have a smart phone. I can’t play. No fair! (Not very profound, but extremely irritating.)
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Voicemails, actually. I’d rather someone called and waited for me to return the call, rather than check my voicemail only to call them back to confirm.
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In a one-on-one situation, when one of the people calls/accepts a call/texts/uses a mobile device that essentially removes them from the actual real-person interaction. Hello! I am a real person, I am here, I take precedence!!! Let it go to VM, read the text later… be present here and now!
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I really hate when people use their hands-free devices when their hands are not occupied or even wear it while walking around a store.
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I hate it when people use thier cell phones at my dinner table. They came to see me, to eat with me, and what are they doing? NOT interacting with me! BOO to them,I say!
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Someone standing in front of the bookshelf I want to peruse at the bookstore, talking loudly into the phone about the latest therapy session, and not budging an inch. Even after a polite “excuse me” as I try to reach around them. Huge pet peeve
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“Hello.” “Hello?” HELLO?” HEEELLOOO??? IS ANYONE THERE?”
No, no one is there, and no amount of screaming is going to make them come back.
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My pet peeve is people checking email/tweets/rss etc. during intermission at a show! It’s FIFTEEN MINUTES, people! Just make conversation!
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I also find it incredibly rude and demeaning to the clerk when customers can’t hang up their phones while paying for their items. I once sympathized with a sales clerk after that. She told me that, when customers were on their cell phones, some of the other clerks would ring up items multiple times. The yapping customers never noticed they were being overcharged. Rudeness can cost you!
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Any phone use at a movie theater makes me absolutely bazoo. You are not at home with talking furniture, people! There are other patrons trying to actually hear what the pretty people on the screen are saying! Ay yi yi.
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I think it’s rude to talk on the phone while checking out at a store. I also hate any kind of texting, especially during a conversation.
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I think it’s a huge faux pas when someone conducts a meeting with their mobile left on. I have a certain manager who will interrupt meetings to pick up his phone – regardless of who is calling. I see this as a clear message of disrespect for the others in the room, saying that their time is much less valuable than anyone else’s.
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It never fails to amaze me when someone answers the phone in the movie theater. Please turn it off and if you make the honest mistake of your own, it’s your duty to tackle the phone and make for the nearest exist while non-elegantly muffling the sound. Answering the phone and giving the person on the end a run down of the major plot points is not appreciated.
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I just came back from a vacation that involved a couple of airports, so my most recent mobile peeve is people who use the phone in the bathroom. And because everyone can hear the conversation, we know the information isn’t urgent. For bathroom callers: think of how the person you’re talking to feels – first hearing a noise that sounds like pee, then some muffling as pants get pulled back up, and later the unmistakable flush. Ick.
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The worst? Texting at the dinner table. That should be a time to reconnect!
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