But Tequila Has Always Been my Friend

My Life

It’s been a particularly hard day, and I’m swigging a large bottle of mineral water.

Me: I wish this were tequila.
Bryan: Mmmhmm.
Me: I also wish I were 23 years old. Just waking up from having slept in. Until 3 p.m. On spring break. In Cabo.
Bryan: I can make one of those things happen.
Me: Sounds good. I never understood spring break anyway. It was like, why would I spend a week throwing up and pushing away the wasted, persistent guy who wants to put his diseased penis to use?
Bryan: …
Me: I was a blast in college.

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22 thoughts on “But Tequila Has Always Been my Friend”

  3. I’m still trying to pinpoint the exact time when the tequila bottle morphed into a bottle of water.

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  4. Funny… in my 20’s, I put away a lot of tequila pretending it was water. Makes bad tequila go down smoother (I should send this to Tricks of the Trade). Ah, the salad days.

    @Amy, probably just the sleeping in part. Bah. :\

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  6. Hey, I remember you in college and you were a blast. Also, I recall you introducing me to the wonders of peppermint schnapps and instant hot cocoa.

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  7. If I said that to my husband, he’d lock me in our bedroom to protect me from myself. At least you pushed away diseased penises, though. Some people embrace them. Thanks for the HPV, guys!

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  11. You promised you’d never tell. I mean, geez Maggie, it wasn’t that diseased.

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  13. hahahaha!!!! i love it. my 6 week postpartum visit is today and i have a feeling we will be discussing the return of relations with dr. tam. tmi, but our relations were cut off as of week 16 because of twins, so it is actually not dreaded. but i have a feeling it will not be anything like spring break. thanks for the laugh.

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  14. Is this a sex post or a drinking post?

    Aw heck. Doesn’t matter. Either works for me.

    But I drank tequila ONCE. I don’t remember a thing that happened.

    So now I drink vodka and I’m not so sure I made the right choice because now I remember everything, and oh man…

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  18. Worst tequila memory: drunk on vodka and we buy a bottle of El Toro because the cap was a little Mexican sombrero. We have salt, but no lemons or limes and the gf wants to suck on the lime. She says, “I have some lemon yogurt from the cafeteria. It’s fruit on the bottom, we’ll just scrape away all the yogurt.”

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  19. Didn’t everybody learn about hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps when they went to college? We should all thank the friend who taught us!

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