26 thoughts on “Woody Wagons = Rock-N-Roll

  1. Lisa

    I remember the dreams I had of my daughter in frilly dresses. Those dreams died somewhere around the time she turned two.

    All three of my boys were born after my daughter so I knew dressing them in what I wanted to was shortlived.

    I don’t like most of what that site has to offer but the “Rock-N-Roll” area looks like things my boys would have all liked when they were smaller.

  2. Jenn

    Kids that are forced to wear those clothes are the same kids that get shoved into their lockers during their adolesence.

  3. megan too

    Clothing for bureaucrats in training. Full selection of sailboating shoes. Plus, “sunbubbles”. Whatever the hell that means.

  4. Ali

    Hi Maggie,

    I just wanted to thank you for your ingenious book. I received it for Christmas and my site and I thank you. Even my about and biography pages have benefited from your wisdom, not to mention my entries. I plan to implement many of your other ideas in the months to come. So thanks again. :)

  5. Angie

    I was actually going to say, if my job were to come up with puns and alliterative catchphrases like “Garden Giggles” and “Woody Wagons,” I would f*cking shoot myself. But then I saw Bossy’s comment, and now I, too, feel unoriginal. Maybe it’s this “Flower Power” t-shirt I’m wearing. :::claws at skin:::

  6. Eva

    I don’t like the clothes in the Rock and Roll section. The “Croquet Days” section is the one for me. (My son will thank me when he’s older.)

  7. Kay

    Thanks for this hilarious link. A little bit ago, I got a gloom and doom email from my grandparents-in-laws saying they are concerned that my son may have hydrocephalus. Hey thanks! What a great way to end my night with visions of shunts and surgery! My son has a big head. My son has a big body. My son is big. If you’re going to send the link to the Hydrocephalus Organization, at least read the friggin’ symptoms to discover, lo’, my little big guy doesn’t have any. So my now insomniac-driven point is your post and most all the ensuing comments cheered me up…sadly, said “rock and roll” (and I use the term LOOSELY) line would be purchased by aforementioned grandparents-in-law because they’re granddaughter-in-law is “creative” like that.

    I know they’re saying it out of concern but through email?!? Come on!!!

    Be thankful Henry has a normal-sized head but don’t you worry, you’ll still get your fair share of unwarranted advice!

    But seriously, you did cheer me up.

  8. HDC

    My husband had only one bit of input in the boy’s clothing selections – Don’t put him in anything faggy. I guess I better not forward him on that link, huh?

    (btw, all the gay dudes I know would most certainly tag that stuff with an unqualified ‘faggy’.)

  9. Megan

    When you receive a shipment of clothes from them, do you think it automatically comes with the forms necessary to change your kids’ names to something like “Skip” or “Buffy?”

  10. Jennifer

    Let’s just say I’m… ahem… a little slow tonight & didn’t catch the sarcasm in “surprisingly subversive.” When I couldn’t read the text on the Woody Wagon shirt, I imagined it said “Check out my woody” & came back here to the comments section to see if I was right. I’m going to bed now.

    But first: Kay. You not only have grandparents still (I know, in-law grandparents) but you have grandparents who FLAGRANTLY ABUSE THE INTERNET. How cool is that? Go granny!

  11. Jennifer

    oops – sorry. It was “startlingly counter-culture” not “surprisingly subversive.” I didn’t even get the real text right!

  12. capacious

    It’s so late and I’m so stupid and drunk that I thought you were serious and went looking for cool clothes for my boys. Then it was like, “Wha? I don’t see anything cool here. I been bamboozled!” Thanks for making me feel dumb AGAIN. Like I needed that. Thanks.

  13. This time the holocaust will be black.

    This time the holocaust will be black.

    Austrian Sigmund Freud is known as the father of psychoanalysis yet people have (mental) health problems because of their disfavor, illustrating the preditory purpose of this discipline, this individual.
    These people.

    Of course Hitler was Austrian. Glock, maker of the semi-automatic gun favored by the most ruthless of black street gangs, the Bloods and the Crips, is Austrian.
    RedBull Energy drink, Buwdeiser both Austrian.

    The Holocaust was foreshadowing, yet another example of the Jews sacrificing to help the disfavored::::
    1. 1492 exodus from Spain.
    2. Spread throughout Europe as clue to heathen Christians worshipping a false god.
    3. “Quasi-Holocaust claim” contradicting boss.
    The Apocalypse (or an Apocalyptic event) will be initiated by an Austrian. When the national referendum to allow foreign-born individuals to run for president is introduced I recommend you DEFY and vote NO!! In the years prior to this vote the gods will send POWERFUL clues suggesting the IMPORTANCE OF DEFIANCE.

    It will be the Koreans. There may not even be any invasion:::They gods will scapegoat them telepathically.
    Black people like the ones who terrorized Korean businesses during the 1992 riots in California will be executed. I have personal reinforcing evidence.
    This time the holocaust will be black.

    Italy’s boot is a clue showing the god’s intent with the Romans.
    Oshkosh. Oshkosh is a clue just as Lake Michigan and Green Bay are clues::::
    Oshkosh is the ejaculate clue:::Life springs forth from this city.
    Expect your traditional Second Coming of Christ to come from Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Consistant with the possibility of matrilinial lineage it may be the mother’s family from the Lake Winnebago area fulfilling some “Manifest Destiny” bullshit theater.

    1. Corporate sourcing violently punished::::
    They suggest the whole “sourcing” era, where it is positioned that their brain-less clones obtained product from China and other Asian countries for the lowest possible price, will be punished violently if the gods elect to employ the “Chinese invasion” script.
    One of the reasons it was so important to get out before 1980 or before the end of each 20-year war-revelry cycle (1960, 1980, 2000, 2020, etc).

    2. Deception of Southern rednecks to blame for Republican control:::::
    Republicans, party of preditory disfavored, keep guns available. Easy gun availablility is an “open door” for the gods, a tool used to prey on the disfavored.
    Republicans, party of preditory disfavored, gave you the Clinton impeachment theater 1998.
    Republican loyalty is why noone cares that rednecks are set up for the slaughter.

    The Simpsons offered many clues to the disfavored, not the least of which the frequent references to “pack/mob mentality”.

    This isn’t about reals and clones. This is about the brains and the brain-less.
    This is the key which unlocks the god’s puzzle.

    Kosher is a favor bestowed upon the Jews. The South eats LOTS of pork and there is a oyster bar on every corner.
    It’s kinda like liquor stores in the ghetto. This is the kind of irony the gods laugh about:::::

    gods got rid of the retarded woman who lived across the street, prior to the fall of 2006 so your handiwork wouldn’t stare you in the face while there was so much attention.
    gods took similar evansive manuvers w/ bi-racial.

    Bill Clinton wasn’t impeached because he lied.
    Bill Clinton wasn’t impeached because he was orally copulated.
    Bill Clinton was impeached because it was 1998.

    HOW TO PRAY:::1. I’m sorry for what I’ve done wrong. 2. I don’t want to sccumb to temptation and make any more mistakes. 3. I want to fix my problems. 4. Please don’t hurt me.

    We will ALL be held to the responsibilities entrusted to us, no matter what temptations contradict this.

    If you don’t do the right thing you’re going to do the wrong thing, and the right thing to do is to ACTIVELY fix your problems and pursue the favor of the gods.
    If you’re not working hard to fix your problems, if you don’t creatively work to get the hell off Earth then you will be consumed by it, by the reverse positioning-institutions they instilled as temptations::::popular culture, democracy, materialism.

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