57 thoughts on “Bow Before My Intellect”

  3. haha you totally have brain-dead-new-baby syndrome.

    my sister had it for the first couple of months with her daughter. it’s of great entertainment value for those around you, at least.

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  5. After I saw Radiohead live for the first time, I almost put Neosporin on my face instead of zit cream. I guess I can deduce from our similar experiences that having a baby is kind of like seeing Radiohead. In which case, I can’t wait!

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  6. The ole’ mix’n’match. Personally, I’ve had experience with Bonjella (teething gel) in one hand (taking it off one child) and a sandwich in the other (feeding it to another child). Then -somehow- putting the gel in my mouth. I hope you’re keeping well, otherwise!

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  7. Don’t worry…the intellect comes back! My baby’s eight months old and I rarely wash my face with my glasses on anymore.

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  8. When my daughter was a newborn, I remember standing in front of the sink holding a toothbrush, looking at it at and wondering what I was supposed to be doing.

    And a friend of mine was so sleep-deprived, she forgot her name when filling out forms at the pediatrician’s office. She also walked into walls.

    Both of us have survived with minimal brain damage.

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  9. Yep, you do get the smarts back… just in time for the teen years when you’re reminded by your child how stupid you really are.

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  12. The baby is actually sucking your brains while breastfeeding. It’s a known fact. That’s why he’s going to be the smartest kid in his kindergarten class.

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  18. In the days after I had my now 6-month old, I too tried to wash my face with glasses on. I also started freaking out on my husband for not replacing the cordless phone back on the charger. Now I needed to call my mom and I couldn’t find the phone and it was SO ANNOYING. And then his level of Annoyingness reached GREAT HEIGHTS when he pointed out that said phone was IN MY HAND and had been the entire time I was stalking around looking for it. Jerk.

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  20. Mommy brain, baby brain, baby brain drain…it’s a fact and it doesn’t come all the way back for around 1-2 YEARS!!!
    The good news…the next time you loose something you can be pretty sure to find it in either A – a cuppord, B – under the couch or C – the freezer….trust me!
    Sounds like you’re having fun!!

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  21. hey… i say cleaning your face and glasses at the same time = multi-tasking. 🙂

    the pen thing… yeah, i don’t know on that one.

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  22. A friend once told me a story about something his mom did when he was 3 or 4 months old. She had bought groceries and was back at her car loading them into the trunk. She put the last bag in, took the shopping cart back to the corral, and drove home, only to realize that she had left the baby in the parking lot. She did, however, remember the groceries!

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  24. Personally, I think it’s related directly to sleep deprivation, rather than having a baby persay. Case in point: a childless friend who was once particulaly sleep deprived brushed his teeth with Preperation H. True story.

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  29. My mom routinely threw perfectly good cutlery in the trash, all the way into my teen years. (She said it was an accident, but now I wonder if she just wanted new forks.)

    I have found myself desperately looking for the CTRL-Z keys in real life to undo something that just happened, such as dropping a pile of papers or spilling hot coffee. I don’t have kids, but apparently I spend too much time in MS Word.

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  31. uh-oh. so much to look forward. btw: i just bought your book. it hasn’t arrived yet, but thanks for the ideas in advance, and thanks for showing me the pregnancy countdown ticker! soon i will join the ranks of the even more brain dead…

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  32. At least you have a good excuse. I once watched my husband pour the sugar out of a Splenda packet onto the table and then put the paper container into his coffee mug. We don’t have children. Could you image the horrors if we did?

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  33. Oh may, I can totally relate. The other morning I sprayed hair spray under my arms and I haven’t used aerosol deodorant since 1989. And I don’t have kids so what’s my excuse?

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  34. Crap, I walk into the shower with my glasses on more times than I like to admit. This morning, I attempted to put the compost bin in the refrigerator. And I am not pregnant yet or have a baby… I should be a hoot when I do have a baby.

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  37. Spoke with a memebr of my team at work today who returned from materinity leae just a few days ago. Apparently, she tried to toast a piece of bread in the bottle warmer. Hmmmm.

    Also, to Jennifer/The Word Cellar, I feel your pain re Ctrl-Z: I once was tired coming home from work one day. I used my automatic car key chain lock to lock the car. Then I proceeded to walk up to the front door and stand there clicking the thing, expecting it to open the front door for me. I am too embarrassed to say how many times I clicked the darn thing before I realized what I was doing.

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  38. I peed my pants once. Normal for a new mom, right, I know. But actually? I was sitting on the toilet. I forgot to lower my underwear before I sat, in my haste to get ‘er done in between switching sides. Yeah.

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  41. AHHHHHH. yes.
    my own personal whoops..
    hairgel.. rubbed into the face ( like my MOISTURIZER should have been..)
    Sigh.. and my babies are 11 and 8…years old.

    🙂
    Peace.
    Ngaire In Brisbane Australia
    xxx

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  42. I second that. I’ve gotten into the shower, on separate occasions mind you, with my socks on, my underwear on (bra and undies), and my glasses on. I have also wondered what became of my watch while I still had that wad of paper I meant to throw away earlier in the day.

    I have also begun to call the cats by the baby’s name and I have begun to use my baby’s pet names on my husband. Boy does that creep him out.

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  44. In my no-sleep, breastfeeding delirium (I call it the 4th trimester), I brushed my teeth with baby bum cream one morning! Do you know how hard it is to get zinc oxide out of your mouth? Blah!!!! Hope you are getting some rest…

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  45. Yep, it’s a big club alright. I once poured newly-pumped breast milk down the sink at 4am and put the washing up liquid in the fridge. I cried.

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  46. When I was working early morning shifts on practically no sleep, one famous morning I tried to take off my eye makeup with astringent. Boy, having kids someday is just going to be a trip and a half.

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  47. I buttered my hand once. I’ve showered while fully dressed. Oh, and I’ve wandered all around the house, crying in frustration because I couldn’t find my glasses. I finally found them when I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes.

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  48. I’ve jumped in the shower with my glasses still on, several times! Suddenly everything gets very fogged-up. 😀

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